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Regrets and worried for the future



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I wanted to specifically address your question about going out. Yes, you will be able to go out. I am almost 8 weeks out from surgery and have eaten out with family and friends. Everyone knows about my surgery and everyone wants to be supportive. So they always check with me about what restaurants I can do (most of them, but I am currently skipping Italian) and what they can do to help. My husband orders and I take a little bit of what he's gotten and maybe a side. I can only eat 2-3 ounces at a time, so, it's working out. My friends also have volunteered to share when my hubby isn't around and my sister is thrilled because she's eating less when we go out. I eat slowly so I'm not sitting there staring at everyone else eating after I'm done. It's working and it is possible so take a deep breath - you're going to be okay!

CJ

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@@JohnnysGirl0424 I'm three weeks out now and already feeling much better. I am struggling with feelings of fake head hunger while I'm at work but it's just because I am so very bored. I think I have exhausted my family as well. The last three weeks have been all about me and how I feel, what I can eat, how I can eat, when I need to eat, etc. My poor fiance is probably ready to jump ship LOL

I'm ready to be on the other side of this too!

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I felt the same way too. What have I done?! I wanted to eat everything I loved but couldn't even taste a bite. Everything smelled delicious. Its like you were forced to break up with your best friend and you never got to say goodbye!

But all of the sudden, a month later you gulp down Water and realize it wasn't a tiny sip..and nothing hurts! You go to tie your shoes and you can reach! You realize you're no longer sore anywhere. Fast food smells awful. Your feet/knees aren't screaming sore. Your old jeans fit. Your bras are loose. I could go on all night.....

As a professional cook who has unlimited access to food ALL day, there are few people who have temptation like I do. But I've never been happier or more in control. 100% sure you will be so happy with your decision xoxoxo

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Thanks for starting the post. I knew it would happen to me too and I kept telling myself not to feel regret. Had surgery on October 15 and within days I was thinking I should've just worked out or counted calories. I've lost 10 lbs and feel like it's not enough. The torture we put ourselves through is hell, we know it's temporary and we are told it will pass but when you're in it, it feels unbearable. I've been watching you tube videos, reading stories, joining groups like these to keep myself motivated. I think I have exhausted my family with my fears and constant discussions of what's to come. I cannot wait to be the one to tell someone like me. "It gets better"

I feel the same way

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Well said @velvetelvis. I was just thinking how shocked I was it didn't hurt to take that second gulp that I probably shouldn't have done and how easily I can get up off the floor now (at least compared to 85 pounds ago). It is truly amazing.

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It totally gets better!! I am on cloud 9! I can do things I haven't done since I was a teenager! I can walk so fast my hair blows back! I can sprint through my office if I'm "running" late to a meeting...and not shake the building! I can cross my legs...I can fit nicely in the bathtub. I have been flirted with!! (that is new for me! Been married 30 years!) I can cross my arms, reach that one spot on my back that itches, that I could never reach before! I have been excited about this surgery since before I had it. I did so much research, and u-tube watching I could've almost performed the surgery myself! I had zero regret. I am sorry you feel regret. Trust those of us who have been there....it sooooo gets better! All the best to you!

Best response!!! You got me all pumped up and excited too!! ????????????

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I am 3 weeks out on Tuesday. I feel GREAT! Trust me, it gets better. It's still early for you and the first week is the hardest with coming off of surgery drugs, getting your routine down, incision pains, sleeping pains. It really does get better. Take a deep breath, put one foot in front of the other and take it one day at a time. Don't look at forever. Just look at today. Get up tomorrow, just look at tomorrow. If you try to tackle it all at once, it'll be too overwhelming.

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      · 2 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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