Feeling defeated :(

[LoseItKacy 347]

Thanks for posing your questions to us:

1. Is it common to lose weight pre-op? Of course, it's common to lose weight in the preop process. That's sort of the point of your surgeon's pre-op diet, although the more specific reason to lose the weight is to deplete your liver of glycogen and the Water in your liver that's there helping to store the glycogen, so your surgeon will be able to move the liver and navigate around it during surgery more easily and not nick / cut / damage your liver in any way. That could lead to a very bad surgical complication.

2. How do you respond to those who are negative? I decided to avoid that problem altogether by telling only my husband and two friends who I knew wouldn't be negative. I've purposely not publicized my WLS because I had no patience or any energy for dealing with those who are massivelly ignorant about WLS. I honestly had zero interest in educating the world about WLS.

3. How do you explain to the people that are close to you who see you losing weight in the pre-op process that you should still press forward with the surgery. (See answer to #2 above.)

And if you're wondering how I lost 93 pounds in a year without people asking me if I'd had WLS, I've yo-yo dieted all my life and lost and gained a lot of weight in broad public view. This time it was obvious I was dieting and exercising hard, and those who commented on it simply congratulated me on my great success. And I took my bows.

One final comment -- I think that for someone who wants to live transparently you're over-focused on convincing others to think as you do. You don't have an actual obligation to convince others that you're right -- just as they don't have an obligation to convince you that they're right. It's called living transparently. Does it really make you wrong if they don't agree with you? (That's really worth thinking about. Hard.)

I agree. I just want to add this.

When I was in high school, a group of kids use to take my food away from me saying they "were doing me a favor". The teasing eventually got worse. It was so bad that when I moved i was so scared to meet new people that I sat in my house and did nothing but eat until I gained almost 100 pounds. I used food the wrong way to cope with the stress of divorce and my mom battling cancer.

One day I saw someone on Facebook post a video about someone's gastric bypass journey. I watched it and it led to hours of watching her story. It was ONE person who put their journey out there that made me look into having this for myself. I care about education because I was the quiet person sitting in my house battling my food addiction alone, and was completely unaware that this was even an option for me. Before I heard her story I thought gastric bypass was for 800 pound people trapped in their houses. I thought I was condemned to a body that fought against me every time I changed it. Me speaking about a personal subject is my way of paying it forward. There are a lot of people who don't consider this because they don't know, they hear horror stories from surgeries 30+ years ago, or they know someone who fail. My doctor didn't suggest this. My mom didnt give me the idea. I wouldn't have known at all and I probably would've let obesity kill me because I didn't think there was an option for me. I heard it from someone who didn't care about private or personal information and it changed my life.

I knew putting it out there that people will say things back that I wouldn't want to hear. I'm not upset about what she said. I'm upset that I don't know how to respond. But the liver explanation was great. That was definitely what I was looking for.

Edited September 22, 2015 by LoseItKacy

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

I think the question has been answered....

but here is some of my experience. I lost and maintained (for several years) an 85# weight loss via Weight Watchers. I never got to a normal or even "overweight" status. I could not get below 240, but 240 was way better than 332! Over the years... weight started coming back on. As I got older, even commercial programs like nutrisystems etc didn't really work anymore. I even did that horrible hormone drops combined with a starvation diet of 500 calories for a month. I lost some weight... but it came back on faster than I lost it!

Obesity is a disease state, and it depends on how advanced your condition is but in my case - I simply lost the ability to even lose weight, much less get to "normal" and maintain it.

So far, I have been able to do that with the sleeve.

I don't really care if others think I should have done it another way -- I know I tried just about EVERYTHING (including lapband) and it wasn't until I was sleeved and experienced some of the metabolic and hunger hormone benefits that I found significant success.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I've been in the process for 6 months to get this surgery. I've worked really hard to follow my rules that my nutritionist gave me. My surgery is less than 8 days away. Over the course of 6 months I've lost 17 pounds on my own. 8 of that was liquid diet. Well one of my friends said this to me today and I don't know how I feel. How have other people handled push back lack this?...

"So I guess I'll just come around and be that exasperated ass since I have been seeing this stuff nonstop for months. I completely understand where you are coming from. Weight loss is a journey for life, and literally the toughest one anyone will ever encounter. I lost over 100 pounds myself, so I am not talking out of my ass.

I don't know you anymore. We were friends when we were kids. I don't know how you think or how your life is (from what I read you are very busy, congrats!), but to be brutally honest, you could do this without this surgery. I know you could because you had to lose weight to get into the surgery in the first place and you did that seemingly without issue. I don't care if I get attacked by trolls, but this surgery is for people who legitimately NEED it. You have been losing weight the correct way this whole time before (AND telling fb all about it) then turning around and getting upset when someone says you don't need the surgery or can do it yourself.

My mom had this surgery. She can barely ever eat, and when she does, she throws everything up. Not only that, but she reverted back to her old eating habits so she gained all the weight back and is now just going to be sick the rest of your life. This isn't always the case, but it is most usually the case, at least from all the former gastric bypass people I have met.

This is your life and you can do whatever you want with your body, but dont delude yourself into thinking this isn't the easy way out when you are perfectly physically capable of doing it on your own."

I don't feel like I can do it on my own. I have acid reflux, sleep apnea, and PCOS. She doesn't know all my battles but just because I lose weight doesn't mean I shouldn't have the surgery right?

All I read was BLAH BLAH BLAH....

"My mom can't eat, she throws everything up, she gained all her weight back." Wait! Which is it?

You do what is best for YOU and your real friends will support you along the way. Losing weight is the "easy" part from my experience, keeping it off is where the work comes in.

[The Candidate 3,215]

It's like religion and politics, everyone has an opinion. But you have to stay true to yourself and follow your own course. In this, and every other aspect of life.