no support

[tamirn 90]

I hate to even post this but it is bothering me so badly!!! Every since i decided i am going to do wls (sleeve) i have no support my supposedly husband wont even go with me to the orientation! !!!!!! I am very hurt and disappointed! !! He keeps saying i am sexy and i look GREAT at a whopping 347 pounds!!!! Is he deranged? ????? He has been trying to talk me out of it since i told him about me wanting wls... i have been thinking about doing wls for about two years now!!! I have made up my mind and if that means i will endure tjis journey ALONE so be it!!!!!!! I just dont understand WHY HE WOULD NOT SUPPORT ME??!!!

i am very dissapointed with him.. smh.. i literally have noone..my mother has to work on my orientation day so she cant come..

[meshelle920 18]

Girl listen, my husband is West Indian and he hasn't gone to a dr appt with. E since I was prego with my first kid and we have 3! If this is something you decided you want and need health wise no one can be a bigger cheerleader than yourself. This process to get approved is not easy and you have to get your feelings in check you have to be strong. Rely on the support groups they have in place at the dr offices. Once you have your surgery you will feel so much better not to mention healthier! Keep us posted....

[casper_808 44]

Maybe he is just scared and that's how he is s dealing with it. I know it's not an excuse maybe insight. Like meshelle920 said you have to do it for you. Burg my parents have passed so I told my Aunt, her only concern was will you be able to eat at Thanksgiving? Lol. Really

Hang in there. You have a support group right here thought we cannot be there in person we are there in Internet spirit.

[tcrehm 101]

@@tamirn He may just be scared for you. He may be worried about you having surgery and that may be his way of dealing with it. My husband took some time to come around too and those were his concerns (and still are). He is getting better about it over time and my surgery is scheduled for Tuesday.

Hang in there and use others for support as needed.

[tamirn 90]

Thank you everyone.. yes you are all right.. and i guess i should understand that maybe he is concerned for my safety. .. idk its just frustrating hes acting this way and i knw if it was him i would support him 100. % but i will put my big girl panties on and do this for me because it is way overdue

[finediva 979]

Hello, 14 months later and no one knows of my surgery. Alone on the day I did it, and alone on the journey as I lost the weight. You can so do this. Just do it for YOU! Not trying to break up your marriage, but do it for you. ...with or without the support. Best to you.

[dhrguru 1,238]

I hate to even post this but it is bothering me so badly!!! Every since i decided i am going to do wls (sleeve) i have no support my supposedly husband wont even go with me to the orientation! !!!!!! I am very hurt and disappointed! !! He keeps saying i am sexy and i look GREAT at a whopping 347 pounds!!!! Is he deranged? ????? He has been trying to talk me out of it since i told him about me wanting wls... i have been thinking about doing wls for about two years now!!! I have made up my mind and if that means i will endure tjis journey ALONE so be it!!!!!!! I just dont understand WHY HE WOULD NOT SUPPORT ME??!!!

i am very dissapointed with him.. smh.. i literally have noone..my mother has to work on my orientation day so she cant come..

You know it never once occurred to me that I should invite my husband to any appointments. I told him one night that I planned on having surgery, he asked why, I explained and that was that. He met the surgeon the day of surgery.

I think I just knew my hubby wasn't the type to delve into this hand in hand with me... Not to say he doesn't support me, he does in his own way.

[cindyw41 761]

My husband won't go with me to any of my appointments either. I took my daughter to the orientation (she's 19). In a way it's been better for me to do this somewhat alone. It's hard for someone not going through this to understand and I know he loves me. Keep strong dear..we will do this

[pr_pitbullgrl 1,040]

He doesn't want to see you sexier to other men and empowered. Sometimes, without them even knowing it, our significant others enjoy having us feel down about ourselves because that makes it easy for them to keep us and not worry about us straying or other men wanting us. Another possibility is that he is attracted to overweight or obese women like us. You are very beautiful. I am sorry about him, But you have us to support you. you can do this. Do it for you. Let him come to terms with it on his own....or not.

Edited September 21, 2015 by pr_pitbullgrl

[mskami77 295]

My husband was not supportive at first either. He's a huge Samoan and loved me at 314 pounds. When I finally got him to understand that I needed to do this for me in order to be the best mother and wife I can be, he was more understanding. He met my surgeon and my surgeon prayed with us at my appointment. That gave him comfort and he was better. He still tried to talk me out of it the day of surgery but he understood it was a personal choice. After surgery, when I hit 220, he'd ask me if I was done losing weight. I'd say nope and keep pushing. I weighed in at 180 today and he still ask me if I'm done yet. My response is still nope. Be confident in your decision. Remind him it is not about him. It is all about you and your health. He'll benefit from having a happier, healthier wife.

[pr_pitbullgrl 1,040]

[tamirn 90]

Amen

[losingit41 2]

My husband tried to talk me out of having surgery saying that he loves me the way I am. I first started this journey with the seminar on 12/3/14. I just had my surgery on 9/17/15. Within this time frame my husband has come to understand that I know he loves me but I am doing this to make myself a better person for me. I don't feel that your husband is not being supportive. I feel that he loves you and is afraid of you having surgery because he fears that something may happen and he doesn't want it to be his fault in any way if something happens. My husband has been very supportive during and after the procedure since he saw how bad I wanted this. He stayed over night with me the day of surgery and took off from work to help take care of me. Hang in there. Everyone will come around and do what you need them to. Don't worry. I thought I'd have no support but the day of surgery I had too many people. Lol. They had to take turns coming back to see me.

[cookies_queen 74]

Men are weird, I think genia insecure. He loves you obviously just the way your are which is a good thing. He's scared you will change and not feel the same about him, or something he loves about you will get lost in this process. I'm sure he does think your sexy and beautiful the way you are. Just encourage him to join you in your journey tell him you want him to be a part of it. If he still won't stick to your guns after all it's about you and being a healthy you!

[1212bella 4]

May be your husband is feeling insecure. He may feel like your changing the way you look and your going to be more confident. And he is scared that when you get to a slimmer sexy you might feel differently about him.

My friends husband got really insecure. when she lost a lot a weight she starting going out more. She felt more confident going out dancing and socialising with friends. The husband admitted that he felt insecure with her new look because it made him feel he wasn't good enough or sexy enough for her. And he worried she would leave him for someone fitter and slimmer than he was.