Tired of being Compared

[Bell1980 33]

I have four friend that have had surgery with in weeks of me & one just over two months ago it seem like every body is comparing us & our progress we all have very different body types yet its seems like a race to who is smaller who's doing better I'm just sick & tired of all of it being judged every day ????

[sweetie716 270]

That doesn't sound fun. I even hate it when people study me for a minute and ask how much I lost. Even when people are excited/happy for me, it just sucks to be evaluated in that way. It would suck even worse to have people compare me with others. I normally try to steer the conversation elsewhere or just completely change the topic if I'm just not having it that day. I hope that you're able to just tune it out in time and just do what you need to do. Was your surgery actually in Nov 99?

[JosieAppleHead 74]

Please tell them how you feel because it makes concentrating on your healthy eating stressful. It is a form of sabotage and future failure. Ask them not to do it because as I have heard so many times before this is a Marathon not a race.

[TammyDTM 391]

I have not told anyone outside of my husband, mother and children about my surgery. Others may suspect, but do not know as a fact. I suspect there is a lot of speculation going on behind my back but no one has come out and asked me if I have had surgery. They just tell me I look good.

Well, the other day, I went to visit an aunt who I had not seen since July. In July she was blown away at my weight loss. When I saw her the other day, after we hugged hello, she actually took both hands and started feeling on me around my mid section like the wicked witch from Hansel and Gretel! I pushed her away and told her to quit feeling on me! I could not believe her nerve! She apologized. I love her very much and that really hurt my feelings. Later, I found out from my mother that she feels ashamed for doing that and doesn't know what came over her.

I think people are just so curious about how people lose weight whether it be from surgery or not. However, some people just need to mind their own business and keep their opinions to themselves.

[onesleevedmamma 178]

can you tell people this?

[HeidiA 31]

@@TammyDTM Good for you for standing up for yourself! I'm glad your aunt felt ashamed. Your success is wonderful and a great example for folks like me (I'm having surgery in 4 days on 9/24/2015).

@@Bell1980 - I'm sorry this is happening to you. It's definitely not a competition. Just say, "this isn't a race, it's a new way of life - and you should be ashamed of yourself for comparing us when you know we're all as different as can be!"

[IncredibleShrinkingMan 437]

It is entirely your call, but sometimes seeing your numbers or your progress measured up against others is not constructive. If someone is having a flash of seemingly limitless success, that can get you very down and discouraged, while in reality, that person is probably setting himself up for failure, while you are losing weight in the disciplined and approved manner. Of course, you can always come back to the group-motivation mode when you feel comfortable, as long as you make a promise to yourself not to become dismayed when you see something you don't like or when somebody appears to have made more progress than you over a stretch of time.

[downsizingdiva 459]

THAT TOTALLY SUCKS, ANOTHER REASON TO KEEP IT TO YOURSELF FROM THE BEGINNING...

[Bell1980 33]

@@downsizingdiva i totally agree but my that's not the half of it I work at a hospital where if u sneeze ,fart or whatever everybody know I'm okay with it sometimes but its one thing if one or two ppl ask how much your weight is today is one thing I get that × 10 almost every day so I don't want to be mean but I ask them back well how much do u weigh ????????????

[gp3 3]

Everyone progresses differently, plateaus at different times, etc.

Concentrate on you and your path, what you need to stay on it.

Don't let it become a contest and if it has stop it from continuing.

Let people know that if anything you need their support, not a running critique.

[krista132 213]

Don't let yourself be discouraged by others. If they are real friends, ask them to not do that anymore. Focus on your path and your journey and don't let others comments effect how you feel about your progress.

[downsizingdiva 459]

@Bell1980 THAT IS SO FUNNY THAT YOU ASK IN TURN HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH? I MAY HAVE TO USE THAT SOMETIME. I'VE MOSTLY HAD VERY POSITIVE COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS ON MY WEIGHT LOSS AND NEW APPEARANCE. BUT DEPENDING ON THE PERSON INQUIRING SOMETIMES I FEEL IMPOSED UPON. I MEAN JUST BECAUSE I LOST WEIGHT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I WANT TO DISCUSS IT WITH JUST ANYONE. THIS HAS TOTALLY TAUGHT ME THAT WHEN I SEE SOMEONE WHO HAS LOST WEIGHT OR IMPROVED UPON THEMSELVES AT ALL THAT I'M JUST GOING TO TELL THEM HOW WONDERFUL THEY LOOK AND LEAVE IT AT THAT. WHAT THEY DID OR WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THEM IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS UNLESS THEY CHOOSE TO DISCUSS IT WITH ME. HOPE THINGS ARE GETTING BETTER FOR YOU....I COULDN'T TAKE IT...