I'm 30 years old and I never really dated. I haven't had weight loss surgery, I'm trying to lose weight on my own without surgery and doing well. I've went from 470 to 430 in about two months. I'm not ready to meet women yet as I wanted to be under 300 before I do that. I'm not sure how to do it. I've always avoided socializing but I feel a big reason I gained so much weight was due to loneliness. I created an online account but didn't add any information or pictures, just wanted to look. I see a lot of women I am interested in but I have no idea how to introduce myself or what I should say. If it progresses to a date I have no idea what to do or where to go on a date. I don't know when I should kiss a woman or request a second date. I feel like I shouldn't need to be figuring this out at 30. This seems like something I should have learned in high school. Is there like a tutorial for this? I feel like it just gets harder to find someone after 30 and throw in the fact I have virtually no dating experience.

She said she was going to text me. That's why I'm nervous making the first contact. I don't want to come off as desperate.

She said she was going to text me. That's why I'm nervous making the first contact. I don't want to come off as desperate.

It's OK if you text her and just re-iterate that you had a nice time. Don't mention going out again. If she texts you back, then you can discuss making plans. I always followed up with a text if I had a nice time on a date. This way, he knew I was interested. If he called/texted me back, likely we went out again. If not...then I know he's not interested. It only looks desperate if you text and say, 'why didn't you text me like you said you would?'

Still haven't heard anything back. She said she was going to text me. Is she waiting for me to text? Have I waited too long or not long enough? I'm not sure what to say.

Text her back or call her & say I know you've been busy but I was thinking of you & wanted to know when can I see you again or when are you available so I can set it up or take you out but don't wait on her be a Man, Man up & make the first move by calling her from a Woman's point of view We want to know your interested otherwise She may never text or call you , YOU have to call or text her just be polite , do it , & see what happens either she'll let you know or if she keeps putting you off after the phone call or text then you will know something for sure so call her don't wait, good luck.

Text sent. I guess I wait and see.

Text sent. I guess I wait and see.

Try not to take it personally if she doesn't respond. I can't tell you haw many really nice first dates I had and never had a second one. You can't control this so don't try to...and don't try to overthink it. If she texts back, great. If not, just go at it again with someone else.

So she texted back and we had a little back and forth. I asked about meeting again and she said she would like that a lot. I then asked her when she is available and gave a suggestion of something we can do. This was Monday and I received no response yet. Not sure what I'm supposed to do now. I assume the ball is in her court so I just wait and move on if no response?

online dating... have low expectations and you won't be disappointed.

It is a mysterious world where people do things I doubt they would do in any other setting. She might get back to you, she might be doing the 100 first dates thing - who knows. Don't take it personally and I wouldn't put all my eggs in that basket, so to speak.

@@CowgirlJane what's the 100 first date thing?

@@CowgirlJane what's the 100 first date thing?

What I was referring to is that some people - and I suspect more women then men - seem to do this online dating thing for an ego boost. They chat up a lot of people (that they never meet) and then when they do actually meet, are very hesitant to pursue a second date. I know of a woman who had several "coffee dates" per day... seriously, how can you even decide how you feel about a person with those kind of volumes?

On the one hand, it is good sense to be selective, but on the other hand if your main motivation is to feel like people are intersted in you, rather than actually dating/starting a relationship it kinda sucks for the other person who is actually seeking someone. At some point I realized I had fallen into this - I don't really want to meet anyone because I am burned out on it - mindset so I STOPPED.

@@CowgirlJane what's the 100 first date thing?

@@CowgirlJane what's the 100 first date thing?

So she finally gets back to me and wants to meet. We agree on a day and I ask her what she would like to do. She asked what I thought so I made a suggestion. Nothing. Is this some game? Is this what they call playing hard to get? I liked our first meeting but this is becoming too much work.

Meanwhile I have been chatting with another woman. She is kind of far away so I'm not sure how that will work.

So she finally gets back to me and wants to meet. We agree on a day and I ask her what she would like to do. She asked what I thought so I made a suggestion. Nothing. Is this some game? Is this what they call playing hard to get? I liked our first meeting but this is becoming too much work.

Meanwhile I have been chatting with another woman. She is kind of far away so I'm not sure how that will work.

Welcome to online dating. Just remember...it's not you...it's them.

You completely did the right thing. Online dating is off the hook weird.

Do not give up over this.

I have to admit .I am curious what you suggested. Do not respond if this is too personal.

I asked her about seeing a movie since she had mentioned that when we first met.

@ Sgc well I been following your thread and I think you need to continue talking to the other lady. Seems that she might not be ready to see you again soon.