sgc

Let's be honest, it depends on how attractive you are. It's also easier if you are female. All sites have good quality people. As an unattractive male, I used Bumble the most. I never get responses on eHarmony or Match so at least with Bumble I don't have to put in any effort and get the same results. The one site where women actually approached me was OkCupid but those were transgenders and dominatrix. Ultimately, the best site is petfinder.com. Found my soulmate there.

I've done the photofeeler thing. I know where I stand. The picture doesn't show the mess underneath. It's even worse. I guess I never thought I was that bad that women wouldn't even talk to me much less go on a date. Bumble may not be a good option either. Women are definitely out of my league there. Lots of doctors and lawyers. Only one so far has swiped right and she was a transsexual.

I know I've posted the pics somewhere around here before. It was back in a time when there was more optimism. I went and wasted money on plastic surgery to have a body lift.

What are these misogynistic signals? When have I not owned my own reality? I have stated more than once my lack of responses is based on my own undesirablity and unattractiveness. (Uh oh, is this victimhood?) Lets face it. There are people more desirable than others. I spent my adult life eating and now the effects of that are playing out.

I have a cat. I prefer female doctors over male doctors. At work I have no problem communicating with women. I tend not to find common interest in men. My doctors thinks I exercise too much as she says I may be too skinny now. I live in Michigan. You get the sun when you can this time of year.

Done. She gave me drugs that don't appear to be working.

I haven't dated in a couple years. That's the problem. I've already taken time off. Getting older and getting back into ot isn't working. With Bumble, the profiles are short and to the point, I don't have to try to think up of some clever opening messaging, and the most effort I need to put in is swiping. I canceled my other subscriptions. Just running out the clock on those. I already made a connection on Bumble but of course no message as of yet.

I'm going to try Bumble. Instead of me putting in the effort and getting rejected, I'll let women come to me. I'm not expecting to get any messages but I won't be extolling a lot of effort only to get ignored. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm suppose to do. Not sure why I'm swiping right or left if the woman is suppose to make the move. I guess I could read the app but that requires more effort than I'm willing to put in.

Yeah I've read those articles before. I started off two years ago thinking that way. As the rejections mounted, the less interested I became and the more I realized my undesirablity ran deeper than my weight. Want to know the ironic thing here? I hadn't been around this forum for a while until I got an email saying I had a new private message. It was from a woman who saw a post of mine in the singles forum. I messaged her back and of course no response.

Men get criticized and labeled as shallow of they judge women based on looks. Similarly, men get rejected constantly based on looks and are suppose to deal with it. I never said I was some sort of victim done wrong by women. I've stated before that I am unattractive and undesirable. I was commenting to the fact that somehow a high quality picture of my ugliness is going to make a difference. I'm not really obsessing over other men. Just stating I don't compare favorably to other men. Women will get many more messages from men. Sure a lot will be bad but they will have more choices. I wish women sent me nude pictures. It would be better than nothing. One of the few messages I got was from a dominatrix calling me a b***h. I almost responded back. I've never once commented about a woman's looks. Never once sent a message saying she was a b***h for not responding. I may start messaging about looks. I have nothing else to lose. Now this sushi restaurant. You are going to walk out and starve? Not going to a different restaurant? Make a meal at home? Rifle through the dumpster?

Been on this road for a couple of years now with no success. Had plenty of rest. I'm damaged goods at this point.

Good photos is a code word for attractiveness. Women can get away with saying that. In ugly person is still ugly no matter how good the photo is. None of my photos are selfies. I guess technically they are since I used a tripod. It's easier for a woman to be more selective since they have options. If you sent out about 400 emails and received one date, I'm sure you would be less inclined to throw that fish back into the water. I am competing for with other guys. One of the very few women who actually chose to respond to me said she chose another guy. You say you choose the guy and yet I'm not suppose to worry about other guys?

But you did go out with him once. He probably had other dates lines up as well. I can't even get a woman to respond to any of my messages, much less a date. He didn't reel you in but he probably has others.

Oh and I forgot, my results so far. One woman responded last night to two of the five canned questions but did not ask me any questions. This morning I noticed she's moved on and blocked me so WTF? Why respond to two questions and then immediately block me? I'm guessing she was drunk. Perhaps I dodged a bullet.

Not expecting much. Still need personality and looks, neither of which I possess. I always hear these stories and yet I can't even get a response to my message let alone a date. I would feel to intimidated to ask to fool around on the first date. This guy probably gets many dates and women keep complaining about him. I think he is what women want.

I came up with a new strategy. I have been on eHarmony which feeds you a handful of new matches every day. They have their own canned ice breakers. I'm just going to message every single new match each day. If one responds back, I'll check out their profile and see if I'm interested. It's basically using eHarmony like Tinder.

I was spending hours trying to create a message by pulling things from her profile. I have as much personality as Napoleon Dynamite and below average looks. I'm surprised the cat even responds to me. Spent my 20's and high school days being overweight and avoiding people. Now approaching my mid 30's, just can't jump back into this. It is what it is. Should have done something sooner. I genuinely don't know if I want something more than a cat. He gives me massages and back talk. All I need.

I put effort in for two years and got nothing. The final straw came when I get likes on my profiles and yet they wouldn't respond to my messages. I then asked myself what's the point? I can just get a cat and be done with it.

I've given up. Now I get the occasional woman who will like my profile. I then message her and she ignores me. I don't have the social skills necessary to meet people in real life. I've tried Match, eHarmony and OKCupid. Combined I've sent hundreds of messages. Sticking with eHarmony since they have canned questions to send. Don't feel like putting the effort in. On OKCupid, I was messaged by a professional dominatrix. I was tempted.

I think it's easier for women. I have messaged about 300 women and got a response on less than 10 and no dates. I have concluded I am undesirable, at least relative to the competition. I would waste so much time poring over their profiles and trying to come up with clever messages only for them to be read and ignored. Now I hardly message. When I do, it's a copy and paste message. I also only message the most attractive profiles. If I get a response, which I have yet to, I'll go back and read their profile to determine if they are crazy. If they are, I'll simply ignore them.

Two years ago today I had the surgery. I weighed in at the hospital at 389 pounds. I started the two week diet at 420 pounds so I lost 31 pounds on the two week diet. I now weigh 189 so I lost exactly 200 pounds. I had gotten into the 160's. My doctor actually told me to gain weight. Been sitting in the upper 180's or lower 190's for a while now.

It's nice to be able to walk into any store and buy clothes. Honestly I found it slightly difficult to find jeans in a 30" waist. Seemed most were 36 or 38. I did go to the mall and just tried on some Calvin Klein slim fit shirts that fit nicely. They were too expensive. I was only there to try them on. My whole fashion sense has changed. I even bought new shoes, a new belt, some new eyeglass frames, and even new socks. **Edit** I take that back. I cannot walk into any store and buy clothes. The clothes at Casual Male are too big now. No longer have to pay top dollar for bland clothes. It always bothered me that they sold so many shirts with horizontal stripes. Big people shouldn't be wearing horizontal stripes.

I just bought some 30" waist jeans today that fit. At one point, I wore a size 60. Also picked up a medium slim fit shirt, down from a 6xl.

The sleeve was less aggressive than the bypass and had better results than the lap band. I went from 470 pounds to 170 pounds.

Friday I go for skin removal surgery. Having a lower body lift and tummy tuck did. Finally will have a normal waist line. Not getting my chest or arms done, at least not yet. Still going to wear a chest binder as my chest really isn't that bed. My arms meanwhile are a different story. I've started to just wear long sleeve shirts and roll the sleeves up to my elbows. I would like to wear short sleeve shirts some day. Anyone know if there is such a thing as compression sleeves for upper arms that are flesh colored? Something from my elbow to my shoulder. Doesn't matter I guess if it's made or men or women.