I'm 30 years old and I never really dated. I haven't had weight loss surgery, I'm trying to lose weight on my own without surgery and doing well. I've went from 470 to 430 in about two months. I'm not ready to meet women yet as I wanted to be under 300 before I do that. I'm not sure how to do it. I've always avoided socializing but I feel a big reason I gained so much weight was due to loneliness. I created an online account but didn't add any information or pictures, just wanted to look. I see a lot of women I am interested in but I have no idea how to introduce myself or what I should say. If it progresses to a date I have no idea what to do or where to go on a date. I don't know when I should kiss a woman or request a second date. I feel like I shouldn't need to be figuring this out at 30. This seems like something I should have learned in high school. Is there like a tutorial for this? I feel like it just gets harder to find someone after 30 and throw in the fact I have virtually no dating experience.

@@sgc

So many times I have heard of people finding "the one" when they weren't looking......mostly because the stress of the dating scene was relieved. A nice smile, being a true gentleman (complete with manners, courtesy, and chivalry - among other attributes) are what attracts a lot of ladies, and these seem to be hard to find these days. Who knows what may happen...it's certainly worth a try! Mind you, you're NOT lookin'.......

Oh, and a P.S. Try practicing these attributes, in the meantime, if you don't already employ them....see the wonders they will bring you!!!!!

@canyon

Nothing you said is true at least for me. I haven't looked for years. Being a gentleman who doesn't lie and gets your door doesn't get you anywhere anymore. It's all about looks for people around my age. I used to think once we all got to 30 women would wise up and want a nice guy. Nope. They still want aholes.

I have good relationships with the women at work. I seem to get along better with the women than men. It seems like when trying to approach women as a possible dating mate, it where I get lost. I don't know what to ask a woman? I'm not a good conversation starter.

@@stuart85

How incredibly sad! I don't know where you live, but I can' believe they are all that way! I think you probably just haven't run into those who truly appreciate a gentleman, and that is just sad. Not on your part, but on the society in which you live. Yes, the world has certainly changed in that regard, but WE don't HAVE to change in that way.

I, for one, truly appreciate gentlemen, and always compliment them when I encounter them. It is, indeed, rare to meet a chivalrous man these days. Please don't give up on the true ladies-in-hiding, they DO exist, just as you, as a gentleman, exist. She IS out there, "seek and ye shall find...". Have faith, my friend, and never give up!!!!

Listen girls love gentlemen- thing is in the beginning even the asses are gentlemen. I said it, yes! So when we meet someone who Knocks out socks of physically, and they open the door- we are about 50% vested emotionally and our eyes do dictate if we will be physical with someone. Just be you!!! Always thin or heavy. You are going to amaze a woman one day, and as well deserve the same! (I actually married an athlete, his job was to keep his body perfect- I used to laugh I had a keg and he had a six pack- he never gave doo about it. He always said as long as you are happy and comfortable with yourself I do not care)

I'm talking to a woman who I met on eHarmony. Its progressing pretty well. We haven't exchanged pictures yet. I don't want to move too fast but if the picture exchange goes well, how do I know when to escalate this to an actual date? Some people suggested a walk as a date which gave me the idea of taking her to the zoo. Women like zoos right? It's a public place, we can walk a bit, and at least could talk about the animals. We both live very close to the zoo. Her profile says she likes animals.

I think the zoo is better when the weather gets cooler. Nobody wants to be all sweaty on their first date. Don't know where you live, but if the weather is pleasant then go for it!!!

I don't have to worry about it being too hot in October in Michigan. At my size I wouldn't want to walk around in the heat.

???????? I'm in Miami, it's always hot here! So go for it, sounds like fun!!!

@@sgc

As Blu2020 said, "just be you"!!! Ask if she is ready to meet, and if so, ask if the zoo interests her...she'll tell you. Another great casual idea is a picnic, with healthy finger foods, wine - if you and she both imbibe, a great park in which to walk, maybe a stroll through the awesomely beautiful fall forest (and I know in Michigan there are awesome forests!), VERY inspiring!!! This time of year is so beautiful, and who doesn't love the leaves now?! Or a drive in the country...there are some great fall festivals this time of year, so pick something where you can laugh, be at ease, and have fun...Let us know how you fare!!!

I have always said if a guy actually took my to the zoo on a first date I would be in love. I never wanted to tell him to take me but that's what I wanted- GO FOR IT! You have nothing to lose. Confidence is the deal breaker for woman. You own who you are and don't apologize for your weight, height or even your nose (I am Jewish lol) Be YOU!!! Have fun and talk to more then one woman at once (just a tip). Don't insult yourself on your date not one time (we all do it), don't. Talk to her, listen and most of all LAUGH, Laugh a lot! Leave the date knowing she wants to be your friend (maybe for life) but start there!!! Email me anytime if you need help. Ps- DONT wear a fanny pack ????

I have always said if a guy actually took my to the zoo on a first date I would be in love. I never wanted to tell him to take me but that's what I wanted- GO FOR IT! You have nothing to lose. Confidence is the deal breaker for woman. You own who you are and don't apologize for your weight, height or even your nose (I am Jewish lol) Be YOU!!! Have fun and talk to more then one woman at once (just a tip). Don't insult yourself on your date not one time (we all do it), don't. Talk to her, listen and most of all LAUGH, Laugh a lot! Leave the date knowing she wants to be your friend (maybe for life) but start there!!! Email me anytime if you need help. Ps- DONT wear a fanny pack

Don't apologize for being a chosen person, having a big nose is how we identify each other. I bought a new kind of nose clip for swimming, it doesn't fit, lol

I just shook my head at the fanny pack comment.

????

My nose is one of the few things that isn't large on me so I'm good there.

I really like the way the conversation is progressing with this girl. Don't want to get ahead of myself. Going to get my hair trimmed and some better fitting clothes. Even if it doesn't work out I'll still need the clothes.