Mourning Food. I feel like a freak!

ragdollx19 · July 10, 2007

So I had my second fill and am now up to 2.5 cc in a 4 cc band. My first fill did not provide me any lasting restriction at all. I had my second fill, and maybe it is just early and the restriction is higher but I am actually upset and depressed that I cannot eat much. Which is completely stupid because thats why I got the lap band to begin with!

I feel like a big loser for being sad over food. Yesterday I got a chopped beef sandwich and a potatoe. I knew I would not be able to eat much of it but was determined to savor what I could eat of it. After about 5 bites of potatoe and three bites of my sandwich I was sick for half an hour at the mall. I had to leave my oldest daughter to watch over my three younger kids while I ran to the bathroom sliming horribly. The whole way to the bathroom there were two bone skinny teenagers taking their time getting to the restrooms. I just knew I was going to puke on them and feel even worse about myself.

I came home in a really bad mood and it took me a while to understand why. I feel like I am in mourning over food. I am ashamed to be feeling this way. No one else would understand me sharing these feelings. I just feel so stupid for being sad that i cant eat much. I think maybe I also feel a little frustrated because I am trying to learn how to eat with my band so i dont get sick.

I am really considering going to a monthly support group my doctors office has but am afraid it wil be weird if only a few people show up to them.

Thanks for letting me rant. How long did you mourn food? Tell me this goes away!

chickatee · July 10, 2007

ragdoll I'm right there with you. My scale hasn't moved in weeks and I get frustrated with that. But when I can't finish my food I feel disappointed. This battle is in my own head and I hope I can overcome it soon. I'm just not sure how. I really do want to succeed at this so I don't know why it is so hard.

Marimaru · July 10, 2007

I went through this a number of times. I'd think I was past it and then it would come back and hit me again, kind of like a wave. I don't fight that so much anymore now.

In regards to eating without getting sick, test different things. It was probably the bread in the sandwich + the potato that made you slime at the mall. Bread does some people in, and potatoes do some people in (unless they are mashed and runny) and both was probably just a bad combo. Take some TIME to really learn what your limits are. If you have a dinner with various things on it, take a few bites of one item and wait a few minutes and see if it's causing you any trouble. Then try another item on your plate. It's a big pain, but it will help you narrow down the things you need to avoid.

*hugs* the mourning dies down, and you aren't a freak.

WASaBubbleButt · July 10, 2007

I 2nd everything Marimaru wrote.

I wouldn't even dream of eating bread or potatoes in public. Between those being common foods bandsters don't do well on and new restriction, it was just a bad combo.

But that doesn't take away from missing food either. I'm pretty much used to it now but it takes time.

Ariel · July 10, 2007

oh man i feel you. I just got my first real fill so now i can't eat as much. The first week after the fill, i was fine but yesterday i had a really hard time i was almost in tears. I thought i was crazy so i'm glad to hear that i'm not the only one.