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41 yrs Mom, 3 boys, Houston, Gastric Bypass 10/8; Self Pay



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I am a 41 year old mom of 3 boys (and a puppy!) sharing my life with my wonderful husband of over 15 years. I've struggled with weight for most of my life and have tried all the usual weight loss suspects, only to not lose much or quickly gain back any weight I had lost. I only recently "gave up" losing weight, 6 years post my youngest son's day of birth. Out of desperation, I began researching bariatric surgery, something I had never before considered.

I made a decision to pursue weight loss surgery and have never thought twice… even when I discovered my insurance would not pay. I am now a self-pay, pre-surgery patient scheduled for 10/8. I struggle with my self-pay status, not only because of the money required to pay for the surgery, but also because of the guilt I feel, taking away such an important safety net for my family. My husband is very supportive and just wants me to be happy. I am fortunate. I just wish this decision did not feel so selfish.

That's it. Bittersweet, really… So excited and ready for the surgery and inevitable changes, but apprehensive as one would expect. I so hope that I do this right and make the most of this wonderful opportunity.

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I'm sorry your insurance isn't covering you. I can understand your concern re: costs. I had some insurance support, so my situation is obviously different, however...I also felt very selfish before going into my surgery and had a lot of guilt. My 2 cents now...you are taking control of your health/life. And if that's selfish than so be it! Your family will be thankful to have you in their life for YEARS to come!

Best of luck to you!

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Good luck on your surgery. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing and if you run into any problems or questions along the way.

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you've got a great attitude and positive outlook about it, so I really think you're going to do great. All your hard work will be worth it in the end. Congratulations, and keep us updated. Feel free to message me anytime if you ever want to talk or have any questions. ^_^

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You and your family will not regret the decision you have made. I struggled for a few years over having the gastric bypass. Even though I am fresh out of surgery having it on September 2nd,between my preoperative dieting and my surgery I have lost 42 lbs and already starting to feel a lot better. Good luck on your journey and I am here if you need someone to talk to ????

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Thank you all for your responses and support… finding this website has been such a blessing. My pre-op diet starts this coming Thursday, the 24th. I've been trying to not succumb to the "last supper" mentality, but I'm failing miserably, lol… I keep thinking that I need to indulge before indulging is prohibited. I am hoping this is normal…?… I'm excited about the next month and the changes I will experience in the coming year. I love hearing about your success stories and look forward to sharing this journey with you all!

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Lol about the last supper mentality! I'm laughing because I too had the same thoughts and I acted upon them.My family and I went to Popeye's (no regrets here).It's in the past, and I'm now on my journey to a happier,healthier me, a journey you will soon be joining. Looking forward to hearing your success stories.Take care-Brenda

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@@irishaggie just wanted to check in and see how you're doing!

@ - I'm doing great, thanks so much for asking! I get tired quickly, still have some pain, and I'm bored to death with full liquids, but other than that I am doing good, lol :) I see my doctor tomorrow and I think he will put me on purees, so I'm looking forward to that!

Do you have a surgery date?

Edited by irishaggie

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Yay for purée! ???? no surgery date yet...I will finish my insurance-required 90 day program in early January and then go from there ????

I'm glad you're doing ok!

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In Houston as well! You are investing in yourself to be around longer and healthier for your family.

By now you had surgery. Hope all went well.

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@@Txn26 - Hello from Houston! Yes, doing great! Thanks so much for checking in :) I've lost just over sixty and have been hanging out just below 200 since Christmas… I've reached a little plateau, but I'm trying not to obsess over it, lol.

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Congrats on the under 200! That's terrific. Plateaus are normal, don't fret. That's a normal part of any weight loss. If nothing changes in a few weeks check with your nut or doctor about it. They may have some ideas on what to change as far as foods go. Hang in there!

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And you kinda have to remember to take care of yourself, because if you don't you might not be around to take care of others.

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Hi @@irishaggie! I'm a mom of three in Houston (Friendswood). I've been dealing with diets for years and watched my mother do it too. I had a band placed in 2012 and removed 8 mos later- then went to Mexico to get a sleeve but doc said he could only do a plication as my stomach was swollen. Plication a joke. Few years later get an insurance that pays and got a bypass. I was willing to pay OOP for this!! Some offices take Care Credit which is interest free for medical services but I know you're done and congrats. Bypass on 11/2415. 45 lbs lost. I ste a very small bowl of Blue Bell ice cream and was so sick for hours (dumping, too much sugar). Gave up soda!! That was hard.

As far as feeling guilty, you really only live once!!! You made the right choice cuz if momma ain't happy, no ones happy lol!!

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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