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41yrs, Mom of 3 Boys, Houston, Gastric Bypass Scheduled 10/8; Self Pay



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I am a 41 year old mom of 3 boys (and a puppy!) sharing my life with my wonderful husband of over 15 years. I've struggled with weight for most of my life and have tried all the usual weight loss suspects, only to not lose much or quickly gain back any weight I had lost. I only recently "gave up" losing weight, 6 years post my youngest son's day of birth. Out of desperation, I began researching bariatric surgery, something I had never before considered.

I made a decision to pursue weight loss surgery and have never thought twice… even when I discovered my insurance would not pay. I am now a self-pay, pre-surgery patient scheduled for 10/8. I struggle with my self-pay status, not only because of the money required to pay for the surgery, but also because of the guilt I feel, taking away such an important safety net for my family. My husband is very supportive and just wants me to be happy. I am fortunate. I just wish this decision did not feel so selfish.

That's it. Bittersweet, really… So excited and ready for the surgery and inevitable changes, but apprehensive as one would expect. I so hope that I do this right and make the most of this wonderful opportunity.

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Try to look at it this way - you aren't actually taking anything away from them. You are actually giving them a gift - YOU! I felt the selfish feeling too and I don't even have a husband and children. Totally normal. Just use the sacrifice as motivation to make sure you do this the right way - see a therapist, work with a NUT, exercise. All those things help immensely and are a recipe for success! Best Wishes!!

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Welcome @@irishaggie I am having surgery 6 October in Virginia. I am nervous and have started my pre-op diet already. My thought for you is find the positive and focus on that :) There are a lot of positives that are an outcome of this surgery.

How much are you saving your family? Think about all the money your family might have to spend if you do not get this surgery.

Also how much is your time worth to you? Think about that worth and then think about all the extra time and things you will be able to do with your family.

Keep us posted on how things are going! There are a lot of great people on these forums.

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I'm scheduled for late October and also self funding my surgery.

I worried about using the funds on myself......but I got past that really quickly when I realized how much of a burden my weight related problems are on my family.

Having your spouse being supportive is tremendous.

Workhard on the diet up to your surgery and good luck with everything.

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Thank you for your responses and support… finding this website has been such a blessing. My pre-op diet starts this coming Thursday, the 24th. I've been trying to not succumb to the "last supper" mentality, but I'm failing miserably, lol… I keep thinking that I need to indulge before indulging is prohibited. I am hoping this is normal…?… I'm excited about the next month and the changes I will experience in the coming year. I love hearing about your success stories and look forward to sharing this journey with you all!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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