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Comments from others that mess with your head



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I'm 15 months post VSG and have lost about 130 lbs. Earlier this month, my surgeon, dietician and primary care dr. got together and decided to change my nutritional macros because of an ongoing issue I'm having, increasing my calories and almost doubling my carb consumption. As a result, I regained 7 pounds. I'm having a hard time with the regain, both mentally and physically.

Anyway, last night at the gym, someone (who I would consider a gym friend) looked at me and said "you look thicker. . . I guess you've started gaining all your weight back." Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I wanted to cry, but just continued on with the class. I didn't know how to respond. I don't think the 7 lbs (4 of which have come off) made me look any different and my clothes still fit fine, but there's always that doubt). I keep hearing her words on an endless loop in my head and I'm alternating between wanting to eat everything in sight (hello emotional eating) or restricting my calories down to nothing until the weight comes off (hello eating disorder??).

Ugh, why can't people mind there own business??!?! Sorry for being so long winded, but I needed to get it out and I knew you guys would understand how I'm feeling. What mechanisms do you all use to keep people from influencing you, your moods and the path you're on. I need help today!

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@@stacyg1 - consider your "gym friend" out of line. That was totally un-called for...7lbs???? Maybe 27 because you are just under 5' and 20 pounds more on you would look different than on someone 5'10". She for whatever reason said that - chalk it up to head up her @$$ and move on...

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That's so inappropriate! That would just give me more motivation to prove her wrong!! 7 lbs is nothing compared to what you have been through. Sorry some people don't know how to be pleasant!!

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@@stacyg1 You are amazing and have come a long, long way! Congratulations on your weight loss and your journey! You should be so proud of yourself and although our situations are different, I strive to be as successful as you've been thus far.

This person is probably jealous because you look ten times better than they do ;)

I would just shake that &*$% off and keep on keeping on. You need to remember to NEVER let anyone dull your sparkle!

xo

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Tell her to call your doctor and let him know that she disagrees with his diagnosis.

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Tell her to go **** herself.

Seriously the only way to stop rude smug people from walking all over you it to shock them into shutting up.

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Women are haters! You just look fabulous and she is jealous. Did she ever comment how "skinny" you looked without seven pounds????? I will guess......NO! Don't let her get you down. There are many people in this world that can't stand themselves and they need to say mean things to others to feel better. I think she fits into this class of people!

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That's appalling!!!! Some people are just clods.

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To me, that is the old voice in our head.

The loop about being too big. Not good enough. Need to lose weight... Etc

Trust in the process. You got this. Ignore the naysayers and work your program. You are successful already. One voice cannot change that

Best of luck

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@@stacyg1 As a person outside the situation, I can definitely tell you that hearing about her comments told me a lot more about her than it did about you. Sometimes in situations like that it helps me to take a step back and think what does this person's comments really say about each of us? In this case, it says very little about you. Only that a person thinks you might have gained a tiny bit of weight. Could be due to any number of reasons or just a figment of her imagination. However, what it says about her is that she was rude, catty and/or thoughtless with her words and that she is keeping tabs of others' figures and comparing herself to them fills some deficiency in her self-esteem. I could say more, but you get the idea. Don't worry for a minute about her. Keeping working with your doctors and doing what's right for you!

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Nutjob...blow her off and find better friends.

You know darn well you aren't"thicker" and you know this change was for the benefit of your health. I think we need to remind ourselves WHY losing all this weight was so important (save my life, for example). It surely wasn't to please some random person from the gym.

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What the heck kind of comment is that? Whenever someone says stupid things like that it's cause they pent up some jealousy somewhere and they wait for an ooportune moment to strike. This is a friend where you can tell gtfoooo.

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Maybe it's getting older, or maybe it's just because I've always been one to not put up with people's bullshit, but I honestly don't know how you didn't just tell her to STFU and mind her own business?

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Sometimes crying is the best way to make them feel horrible! I know I would have cried.

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wow what a catty little you know what. f that i would have flipped her the bird and told her to eat shit but politly

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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