Keeping WLS a secret.

[katybelle7 65]

Told no one but hubby, and a fb friend who mentioned she'd had wls 10 years ago. I really didn't want to tell family since I had lap band surgery 7 years ago that was initially successful, but had failed me causing a large hernia. I have felt like a major failure for the last 4 years, so decided to get sleeve gastrectomy. My husband and fb friend both advised me to at least let my immediate family know, so since I now have a surgery date scheduled I decided to share the news with my elderly dad, sister, brother and two adult children. They all surprised me with great support and good wishes. The rest of the world, however,will find out I had hernia surgery and decided to change my diet and lifestyle. Why tell them more? They saw me lose weight 7 years ago and gain it back. Trying to lose again shouldn't surprise anyone. Going out to eat with friends and asking for a doggie bag as the meal is delivered is a lifestyle change many people use for weight loss. I refuse to feel like a failure any longer and look forward to being a healthier me!

[jmw1982 59]

I haven't told anyone and don't plan to. However, it's also been frustrating and lonely to not have someone to vent to about many of the hiccups that have occurred.

Edited August 24, 2015 by jmw1982

[Graciesmom04 184]

I loved hearing everyone's response to this because this is something I am currently trying to figure out. I haven't told anyone, other than my husband and a friend who as also had WLS, and I'm trying to imagine what I would tell people when my eating habits and body change so drastically.

For those that told a portion of truth, have you ever had anyone come right out and ask, "did you have WLS?"

I feel comfortable flat out lying to nosey strangers and telling part of the truth to everyone else. But if a family member asked me straight up if I had WLS, I'm not sure if I could/would want to lie.

No one has ever asked me. I have 100 ppl a day ask what I'm doing to lose the wt and am I taking a supplement. I just say no, it's all about portions, Protein and exercise. Again....all truth.

I haven't told anyone and don't plan to. However, it's also been frustrating and lonely to not have someone to vent to about many of the hiccups that have occurred.

That's why we're all here!

[IncredibleShrinkingMan 437]

Parents, boss, and four friends who I knew would not start to spread rumors

[Dream4tc 192]

When I was banded, I told just my immediate family and my best friends. With my band removal, I told a few more people. With my revision to bypass....I am still trying to decide. I am a nurse and work with other nurses. My coworker who is really overweight, and has diabetes was told by her Dr. that he recommends bypass to help resolve her diabetes. She spent about 30 minutes bashing all WLS surgeries. So, I will most likely keep this revision surgery to bypass a secret until I hit goal and then let them know if they ask how.

[profbdcohen 8]

I think it is important that I am honest that I had surgery because it might help one person decide to explore it as an option to get healthy. I always qualify my statements by saying that WLS is not for everyone but that I have no regrets about doing it except that I waited so long. I tell people who ask that WLS surgery didn't just change my life, it saved my life. As my doctors told me- it is a tool but I still had to diet and exercise to lose the weight and I still have to be aware of what I eat and I still have to exercise to keep the weight off.

Pre-op I decided to tell everyone that I thought would be supportive of my decision: my wife (who had already started the process), my kids (because they live at home and would know something was up), and friends and coworkers who had expressed concerned about my health (with a pre-op BMI of 58 I can look back now and understand why).

Post-op as people asked me about my weight loss I was very open because I felt that not being truthful was unfair to other people struggling with their weight. Can you imagine seeing someone lose weight, thinking they were doing it just through diet and exercise and you weren't having that kind of success? I would have been incredibly discouraged and frustrated. I have always told people that I had RNY and that gave me the opportunity to control my eating and motivated me to start exercising to lose weight.

As a college professor who teaches biochemistry and endocrinology, I teach about metabolism and obesity. My students all know that I had surgery- my former students who come back to visit are stunned when they see me. Many of them have become physicians or are in medical school; I think it is important for them to be able to see the positive outcome of WLS to discuss with their patients. For my current students it is an opportunity to talk about the metabolic and endocrine changes that occur with obesity, WLS, and weight loss.

[Jim in Utah 25]

I am 5 weeks post op and so far only my therapist knows, plus one friend who lives in another country. I only told him because his boyfriend had it done and I was curious about how it went for him.

I am reluctant to tell people because it seems like many people don't really understand the procedure. Like, you have the surgery and BOOM, you just lose weight!

I will tell family members when I see them...Christmas time.

Other than that I probably won't tell anyone unless they ask directly.

[sok72 5]

I've told my husband and 2 friends. I don't want anyone else to know. Unfortunately I don't have much of a support group. My family is very judge mental & coworkers mean well, but they love to gossip. I haven't decided what I will tell them when I take the time off.

[J170 29]

My husband and 3 sisters. The oldest sister had a bypass in 2012 so I told her first. Everyone else can mind their own business. I'm very private. I won't lie, but I'm not volunteering.

[Jessica Ellison-Correa 66]

i have not had the surgery yet but so far my husband who is a rockstar and supporting me through it all my mother in law who is a saint and basically became my mom when i entered this family all my sister in laws who are happy that im getting it done for my health and the guys in our dungeons and dragons group because we meet every week and they are our closest friends and will know something is up when im not eating like i used to oh also my two best friends who were in my wedding and my dad who basically had no reaction

[rusty780 9]

10 years ago I lost a very large amount of weight. Everyone noticed, and every commented. At the time I was very self-conscious, and extremely shy. Having been through the weight loss experience before I plan on telling people the truth, if they ask me how I did it or what I am doing differently. I am not ashamed, as I am not having this surgery for vanity purposes, but for health reasons.

A: Was fat and had WLS - which does not change the fact that I use to be fat.

or

B: Was fat, had WLS, and spent a lot of time lying to people. - which still does not change the fact I use to be fat.

So the question is why does it matter how you lose the weight? Answer: Because of what others may think of me.

The truth will set you free!

I share my perspective not lessen another's; but so that we can share ideas, so we may all grow, while we are hopefully shrinking.