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Non Supportive Family



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Hello,

I just got scheduled for surgery this past weekend. Although I was extremely excited and would have loved to scream it from the hill tops, I was hesitant to tell some friends and family members. When I was looking into lap band, many people in my life expressed their disapproval of weight loss surgery. None of them are overweight like me and there is no way they could truly understand how hard it is to lose the weight. I love them all so much but I'm not sure of the best way to approach the situation. Most of them know I am getting the lap band but we just try to avoid the subject. I was wondering if any of you have been in this situation before. If so, how did you deal with it? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much,

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Hello,

I just got scheduled for surgery this past weekend. Although I was extremely excited and would have loved to scream it from the hill tops, I was hesitant to tell some friends and family members. When I was looking into lap band, many people in my life expressed their disapproval of weight loss surgery. None of them are overweight like me and there is no way they could truly understand how hard it is to lose the weight. I love them all so much but I'm not sure of the best way to approach the situation. Most of them know I am getting the lap band but we just try to avoid the subject. I was wondering if any of you have been in this situation before. If so, how did you deal with it? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much,

First I want to say welcome to LBT! This is an awesome site. And good for you starting early to gain control of this wt thing! I know there are some in my family who disapprove of WLS, so like you, I don't discuss it w/them. Just remember, you're doing this to better yourself. Forget them. I know it's easier said than done, but you don't have to answer to them. Of course, the skinny-minis all think it's so easy to 'just push away from the table and exercise more'. Right. We all know how well that works. :cool:

For me, I've only told people that I know will be supportive and encouraging, just b/c I want to enjoy my entrance into Bandland. There's no shame in me about the surgery whatsoever. I don't feel like I have to explain anything to anyone. After it's done and over, I don't care who knows.

I hope this helps!!!

Here's another link that may help: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/keeping-secret-31977/

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This is something I have gone back and forth w/ over time . At first I was not going to tell people and only going to tell people who I knew were going to be supportive. Then I told them and I was surprised that some of them were not as suportive as i thought they would be . As my surgery got closer , or looked like it would happen some people like my mom and dad have come around in their own ways. Now frankly i really dont care. I dont care if people dont like it . I explain to them the reason why im having the surgery , i try to explain or educate them on the surgery but that's all i can do . I cant control how they feel about it. But its up to everyone individually . I personally have never been one to care what anyone thinks about me .

Good luck on everything and dont let anyone get you down.

Love

Mindy

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Hi there,

I am getting banded next Wednesday, (OMG), and I decided to tell my family and friends. At first, my family was concerned, but after sharing the research with them they were fine. My friends and coworkers, however, I wish I had never told. They have been very judgemental towards me. The skinny friends say I should be able to do it by eating less (ok- obviously that doesn't work) and my overweight friends seem to be almost threatned by me having surgery. At some point, you have to do what is right for you and not worry about everyone else's opinion. We have all spend enough time suffering from our weight issues and know when the time is right to get banded. You will do great!!!!!:cool:

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I have shared this with my family and coworkers. My family has been very supportive. Several of my friends are asking "are you sure this is what you want to do?" Called me crazy and a couple of them have even told me "you're not big enough to have this surgery". I know I was more scared last week wondering if I could deal with the lifestyle changes. I think what put it into focus for me was reattending my surgeon's seminar. He told stories he had heard from other doctor's about patients who did not follow the clear liquid preop diet and then they were opened and the doctor could not do the surgery because their livers were too big. I also watched the internet presentation again and felt at peace with my decision. I went in today to sign all the paper work. Believe me I had never signed such a long surgical release about ten pages. I feel if you can't follow one week of prediet how can you expect to be compliant after the surgery with the band? Barring any preop test complications my surgery will be on Friday, July 20.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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