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Feeling alone through this journey



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So I've been through nearly a year of prep work and appointments and now am just waiting for insurance to approve me, then I can schedule surgery and am so excited! Unfortunately, I feel very alone in this journey with no one to talk to. I'm the type of person who loves to talk through things but don't have close friends. My mother thinks it's a big mistake and that I should be able to lose the 100+ lbs "on my own" (as if I hadn't been trying and failing at that for the last ten years!) and my husband all but said he thinks I won't be successful after surgery. I haven't told other family or coworkers because my weight is such a sensitive issue to me, and I'm so embarrassed at how heavy I've gotten. I'm excited, scared, and nervous. Guess I just wanted to put this out there to see how to get through this with me basically bring my own 'cheering section' through this journey.

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I felt similarly, but the one thing I did was tell my coworkers. They have been real encouraging and supportive! The definitely my cheering section. My mom and my husband came around. You have us! I know you can do it!

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Well I'm very excited for you! We can be buddies! My bypass should be scheduled within the next month or two so we can go through this together.

I'm lucky that most of my family has been supportive of my decision. But there will always be those that don't get it. When I tell people I always bring up how bypass has a great long-term success rate. Also, my surgeon goes out of his way to constantly say that severe obesity is a disease. And a disease that needs surgery to fix.

Please keep me posted on your progress. And I hope you don't mind, but I added you as a friend on here.

Gina

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Thanks everyone! I feel better already. This board has already given me so much helpful information. And Gina1209, as soon as I figure out how to add you as a friend in here (still a rookie newbie!), it would be great to chat with someone who's going through the process about the same time!

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I'm in the same boat as you. I've been doing this process for the last 7 going on 8 months. At first everybody was on board with my surgery and after like a few months they began to not respond or shrug it off. I do talk about it all the time and with anyone who will listen because I feel like if someone else is thinking about it I can be a support or resource for that person.

I know exactly how you feel as my surgery is pending insurance review since mine was originally denied to to lack of doctors information.

This site is a great source of support as well as another site I found thinnertimesforum.com I use both because there is a wide variety of people on each.

Good luck lady! May the odds be ever in your favor!

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((Rollingring)) count me as a part of your support group. We all need to band together! (Pun unintentional!) I feel very alone too sometimes even though I have two good friends who know I'm going to have it and are very supportive. I don't know that anyone who hasn't been there can know how demoralizing and how much effort it takes to just exist when you have over 100 pounds to lose! Or how simultaneously scary and exciting the prospect of turning your life inside out is! You are not alone!!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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