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I don't know what to do.



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Hello everyone, This is my first post on this site. Well here is my story, I'm 32 M and about 6'2 and 300 lbs, I have gone through the weight loss program twice in 3 years at Kaiser and still haven't pulled the trigger to do it. The first time I backed out because my girlfriend at the time said she would leave me if I did it. (she ended up leaving anyways haha) and this time around I just cant get my self to do the last step and that's pick my surgery date. I must be scared/nervous im not really sure. I understand that this is a life changing tool. I'm not a big eater as it is now I might eat once a day and I drink a gallon of Water everyday. I am a very active person, I'm always on the move and have a new hobby to deal with , I'm not a lazy person who just sits in front of the TV all day. I'm a heavy duty diesel mechanic so I have a very physical job. I just don't know whats stopping me from do this, I'm I the only one who has felt like this. I could have done this 3 years ago and been don't with it.

But here is one question that has bothered me. With in the next couple of years me and my friends will be opening are new brewery, now by me doing this surgery I can not drink beer any more is that true? Im not a big drinker I love the art of making something from different things.

I have read a lot of your stories and maybe i can have a story of my own one day

Thank you

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You can certainly drink beer or anything else in moderation. Shouldn't be a problem.

With a job like yours, I think you'll be amazed at how much more enjoyable it will be without all the extra weight.

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You can totally drink beer again after the surgery. There is nothing that you actually cannot physically have after about the 2 month mark. They frown on caffeine, soda, and booze, purely because they don't want you drinking your calories. I drink diet Pepsi everyday and while I'm not a big alcohol drinker, I haven't had an issue the few times that I've had a beverage (or five).

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First, Google the consequences of eating one large meal a day instead of speading out your nutrition. After you have bariatric surgery, it will be imperitive to eat small meals and sip instead of chug your liquids.

Secondly, think about how your health will be a year from now if you do not have surgery. Then consider where your health will be a year from now if you DO have the surgery.

Third, there won't be any pitchers of beer, but I suppose you can be a sippy taste tester.

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MRH, I wonder if this has nothing to do with drinking beer but facing something I had issues issues with: grieving giving up food for comfort. No more mashed potatoes and gravy. No more mindlessly eating popcorn while watching TV. No more seconds at the dinner table.

Are the benefits worth the changes that will be lifelong ? It's almost like getting married and giving up your single state. Is it worth it? Only you can answer that honestly to yourself.

Make your decision, and decide it's the right decision. Stick to it and follow through with it, whatever you decide. Don't live with what if's. Be strong and confident in yourself!

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Hello everyone, This is my first post on this site. Well here is my story, I'm 32 M and about 6'2 and 300 lbs, I have gone through the weight loss program twice in 3 years at Kaiser and still haven't pulled the trigger to do it. The first time I backed out because my girlfriend at the time said she would leave me if I did it. (she ended up leaving anyways haha) and this time around I just cant get my self to do the last step and that's pick my surgery date. I must be scared/nervous im not really sure. I understand that this is a life changing tool. I'm not a big eater as it is now I might eat once a day and I drink a gallon of Water everyday. I am a very active person, I'm always on the move and have a new hobby to deal with , I'm not a lazy person who just sits in front of the TV all day. I'm a heavy duty diesel mechanic so I have a very physical job. I just don't know whats stopping me from do this, I'm I the only one who has felt like this. I could have done this 3 years ago and been don't with it.

But here is one question that has bothered me. With in the next couple of years me and my friends will be opening are new brewery, now by me doing this surgery I can not drink beer any more is that true? Im not a big drinker I love the art of making something from different things.

I have read a lot of your stories and maybe i can have a story of my own one day

Thank you

No one can make the choice for you on whether or not surgery is a good idea.

Also anyone who is willing to leave you over you wanting to get healthy should not be with you.

Good job on staying active and having goals. its a major surgery so being afraid to take the step is completely normal. but make sure you are sure you are able to make the life changes. Good luck and if you need a surgery buddy let me know mine is august 6th.

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Something is stopping you but something is also keeping you going back. it is a scary decision but everyone who I know, including myself, who is newly sleeved, is glad they did it. I still have not (personally) met someone who said they wish they would have passed. Maybe see a therapist to help you sort out some thoughts and feelings? I did.

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What Norma said.

We can't figure this out for you.

But we can encourage you to figure it out.

Best to you.

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The only thing my doctor said about alcohol was that I could not have any up to 6 months after surgery. After that, I can have it, but within limits. But that is just like food.

If you are not ready, then don't do it. You should be 100%. You will be supported here no matter what you do.

I do think 1 meal a day is not good. I use to do that & my Doctor told me how that isn't helping me 'cause my body is storing what I ate once a day b/c it wasn't getting what it needed other times.

Just be careful.

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If you have been going back and forth on this, then you know deep in your heart you need it.

It took me a long to get to the point I was okay with having surgery, then when I was ready, I made it happen in less than 60 days so I wouldn't chicken out.

Edited by OutsideMatchInside

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I've found this thread really helpful, I have my date booked however I still have so many questions, like can I still champagne with my friends etc. sounds like I can but only after about 2 months.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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