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perforce    243

perforce
Posted

My mom was actually massively unsupportive when I told her, and continued to be for a few months, then one day I called her and she said a co-workers husband had had it done and lost a lot of weight and suddenly she didn't have a problem with it? It let me feeling vaguely insulted, but it's better than her attitude before so I just let it go.

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taweedeegirl    68

taweedeegirl
Posted

My mom was actually massively unsupportive when I told her, and continued to be for a few months, then one day I called her and she said a co-workers husband had had it done and lost a lot of weight and suddenly she didn't have a problem with it? It let me feeling vaguely insulted, but it's better than her attitude before so I just let it go.

are u going to ask her what the change of heart was?!! and what were her fears initially ?! no all of a sudden she's ok with it, because of a co-worker?

I'd let her know that were hurt previously by her action

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perforce    243

perforce
Posted (edited)

We've talked about her negative reaction as much as either of us are willing to, sometimes it's better to take a breath and move forward. I can talk about getting the surgery etc booked now without her getting angry and bitchy and that's more than I expected after our first two attempts at talking about it.

Her fears, she claims, we're about the dangers of surgery. But I think there was a lot more going on internally for her than she was willing to admit to herself, with her food is love mentality and the fact that she is big herself so I belive she's feeling... judged? Kind of? Even though that's not the case. I also think that it makes her have to take a long hard look at her own weight and is just easier to get angry and be unsupportive than deal with that you know?

I will not be staying with her when I get home (I'll be in my father's house and she lives 2.5 hrs away) so I'm just not going to see her until I feel more settled into post-op life as I don't want her opinions to affect me mentally if her attitude gets the better of her. I'm hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.

Edited by perforce

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Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • KeeWee

      KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
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