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Regretting it...



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I had my RNY on June 23rd and am in a terrible state. The surgery went ok but I ran into complications a few days later and no doctors seemed to take my pain seriously. I suffer from horrible anxiety attacks that can cause my tolerance level to take a downward dive. But after a full day in the ER, 3 days of mind numbing pain and then a follow up appointment it was determined that I needed emergency surgery to repair a hernia. The hernia was initially the size of a dime and grew to over a plum in the course of a few days post op.

Post second surgery in under a week I was sent home. Now my anxiety is so bad I can't sleep, function or care for myself or family. Has anyone else experienced anxiety at this level? I'm already taking multiple xanex a day to keep me just breathing...

So sad and regretting this surgery...

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So very sorry you have gone through so much. Anxiety and regrets are completely normal reactions - and that is for those of us who haven't been in mind-numbing pain or 2 surgeries so quickly! Have you worked with a therapist through this process? Mine is truly been invaluable. The one thing she kept saying when I was freaking out was to stay in the present. Think about today only. If you have a therapist, reach out to them. If not, call your surgeon and see if they can recommend one they work with that will understand what you are going through. Meanwhile, maybe you need something other than Xanax? Call whichever dr prescribed that and see if there is something else they can do. Deep breaths. You got this!

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JessiL--I'm writing to you as Brian88ss' wife. I'm 14 months out from my VSG (sleeve) surgery. Your post has struck a major chord in me. I've lived with anxiety my entire life, and it became acute in 2012. I sought help through I psychiatrist and counselor.

I also live with chronic arthritis pain that I was told would be greatly reduced by several physicians (hasn't happened), which has really ratcheted up my anxiety. One of my friends, who is a psychologist (not the one I see) said, "when you live with anxiety, there's good news and bad news-the good news is you're going to live. The bad news is, you're going to live." :P

I am working on something called mindfulness meditation (living with the anxiety and pain, but putting it in the back of your mind-like the needle on the record is down, but you don't have to always listen to it." I also switched from Xanax to clonazepam (which is like a longer-acting form of Xanax). That being said, I know that our population (bariatrics) is at a huge risk for cross-addiction (alcohol, pills, shopping, gambling, etc.) and I struggle with tension headaches, for which I take a medication that has a sedative in it (I have noticed myself using it more recently, so I know the anxiety is ratcheting back up :( ).

What I do know, is there's hope. NEVER give up hope. You had this surgery to improve and extend your life (I have to tell myself that lots). I also know that one of the best anti-anxiety exercises out there is exercise. I'm not even talking anything hard-core, even getting outside for a walk can help (I know this because I use it as one of my tools to deal with what my friends and I call "the big A."

When my husband read me your post, my heart totally went out to you. Please know there are people out there who care about you (and they are people you may not even know!). This is going to sound really weird, but I'm going to try something new-adult coloring books (you can find them on Amazon and if you have a Prime membership, you get a discount and free shipping. My online anxiety group has been raving about them, so I thought it would be worth a try.

Remember that you are special. You have a purpose in this life. And you are the only "you" in this world.

Thinking of you and sending you hugs and good vibes. If you want, you can message me through my hubby-I'm trying to limit my time online right now, as that might be a contributing factor to the increased anxiety. Please do take care and know that you are not alone.

Julie

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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