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"What are you doing?!"



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I've hit a tipping point where even the densest person in my life can't help but notice my weight loss. I've had a bunch of people coming up to me to say "You've lost weight! What are you doing?!!"

I told a couple of people what I did early on and then spent 30 minutes defending why VSG was good for me and why doing it in Mexico wasn't a death wish. That cured me of giving a damn about giving anyone the backstory.

So, now when I get the "What are you doing?!!" question, I (truthfully) say "Well, I dramatically changed my diet and became much more active." When they asked what I did with my diet I say, "I cut out soda, most carbs, sugar, etc. and emphasize Protein. I also reduced my portion sizes." I try to leave it at that.

How do you respond when asked about your weight loss? Do you openly talk about having surgery?

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I tell them I had weight loss surgery. I'm a year in and so far haven't encountered a single negative reaction, so maybe I'm lucky. If I did encounter a negative reaction, I don't expect to change anything because of it. I did what I did for me; I don't really care what anyone else thinks. :)

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"I'm just freaking awesome! And why aren't you??"

Kidding.

I've been very open and honest about my surgery. Which is easier in some instances because I don't have to make up anything. The truth is always easier. But yes, some people are very harsh & even down right mean. It's a lot easier at 2 yrs out bc I look and feel amazing & I can just tell them to kiss it. ;)

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You don't have to lie, but you don't have to tell everything you know.

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Actually I was just coming on here to post how blessed I have been in the support and response from people. Today I was eating in the breakroom at work and someone asked how I could eat just a small bowl of refried Beans (still on puree). I told them I had gastric bypass. There were 4 people in there who didn't know and 1 who did. They were SO incredibly supportive and interested. And these aren't even folks I know that well. I did say "Now that doesn't give you the right to question every bite a take". I laughed and said only my good friend could tell me that. So one of them said they would go tell her if they saw me eating something I shouldn't. They were just joking of course, but seriously, my family has been amazing but boy did I leave their boosted and loved. So, what am I doing? Telling everyone! I am not embarrassed at all and have only had 1 negative response luckily - and I knew that was what she would say. She's not the boss of me, so I don't care! ;) It is certainly an individual decision but I say don't be afraid of telling. Be selective if you feel necessary but mostly you are right, who cares what they think anyway?!

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Maybe I've just had bad luck or maybe it's just the sort of people I hang around with!

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I am truly sorry you have had that experience. Know that everyone on here will support you, so if you don't want to tell anyone else - don't. Come tell us! We will give you the boost you need! :rolleyes:

Edited by Daisee68

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I was openly honest with all comers about the fact that I was going to have surgery. I decided that when weight loss became obvious I would be transparent with those who asked questions, if they were kind people. If they were people with bad info about WLS, I would keep it short or just polite unless they were a**h***s.

Now, at almost 11 weeks out and close to 70#, it is becoming noticeable. When they ask about if I lost weight, I just say (after patting my stomach) "I got my internal plumbing redone with WLS", or "Al Roker and I have something in common!". If they want more info, I explain what gastric bypass entails.

Today at the public pool where I swim 3x a week, someone who knew I had WLS surgery said "Looking good!". Most (90%) are appropriate. Some of my many relatives got a bit irritating by asking every time they see me (which is almost daily) "How much have you lost?" . Now I just say "Not sure, don't weigh frequently, but feeling healthy!". Most get the idea.

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I tell (told) them that I don't eat as near as much as I used to, no longer eat meat, anything made from flour like breads, Pasta cake, etc., I concentrate on Protein first, stay away from anything processed. I invested in a quality blender/juicer that I use for my Breakfast everyday...no exceptions, and drink Water all day long.

Also go to the gym at 5am and workout (run) on an empty stomach to burn stored fat....

It's a new lifestyle...not a diet per say...so no calorie counting and all that stuff....No Mas!

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B-52, what do you juice in the morning? I have a good juicer but have not used it since the surgery, focusing on Protein such as egg whites in the am. Thanks, John

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B-52, what do you juice in the morning? I have a good juicer but have not used it since the surgery, focusing on Protein such as egg whites in the am. Thanks, John

Whatever your recipe, just add a scoop of whey protein such as Muscle Milk or any other of the hundred's on the market....add an ice cube in the summer also.

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I am open and honest with people about having had WLS.

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I always give credit to my WLS. I feel it is only fair. If I were to leave out this essential tool, I might make the other person feel bad, as if he/she couldn't do it "like me." It's so very rare to have significant weight loss/sustainable weight loss without WLS, so giving credit to a real and useful tool is important to me. Omitting WLS in my story (such as it is; I'm hardly a success) wouldn't feel right to me. I would never want another overweight person to walk away from me thinking I did this through sheer willpower.

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If someone notices enough to ask, I tell them. Even a neighbor I've never spoken to before stopped me out of nowhere and asked me how much weight I lost. I told him and he asked how I did it. I told him I had surgery to get me started but it's a lot of hard work and eating the right things. In other words, I told the truth.

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I'm just under 6 months post surgery and recently moved to a new town, new job, new profession, going back to school, and don't know a single person in my town. So, although I was very transparent in my last location, I just decided I would start life here as a normal sized person, not having to go into the explanation. I have told one person and that was because they were also fat, and I wanted them to have the information. But the other students in my courses, or fellow employees at work, they don't need to know.

I was at a pub with a few of them after class one day (iced tea and salad) and they saw my ID when I opened up my wallet. Picture of me, not even close to my heaviest, but about 60lbs heavier then today. And they were all amazed how much I'd lost. I just told them exercise and eating right, then joked " do you think I really want to eat this salad?". That was it, conversation turned to something else and I'm just one of them.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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