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Advice from outsiders before surgery



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I am wondering if everyone gets the overwhelming advice of Don't Do It from friends before surgery. I'm one week before surgery and am so excited. But I am getting all these friends that have to tell me horror stories of people they know that had this done and it was bad. I'm grateful they are worried, but it's not like I haven't done research. I would so rather not do this and be able to lose weight the traditional way, but that's not how my body works. Who wants to subject themselves to surgery for an " easy " way out?? It's not easy by far, and I know this. I just want friends to be supportive and understanding. Not to try to scare me and try to depress me before surgery.

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"Thank you for your concern" (said while interrupting their story of woe). Then change the subject. Immediately.

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I think what you've said about is really one of the best ways to have a conversation, if you choose to have it.

I would simply reiterate all of it directly. If your friends are friends at all, they will respond accordingly to the energy you put out there on the topic.

Best of luck to you.

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Prove em wrong lol. They may feel like they have your best interests at heart but you know yourself better then anyone. Best way is to show them in the long run. I have a friend who is an excersise physiologist and had reservations about me having the surgery. Now hes one of my workout partners now that ive shown it was the right thing for me to do lol

But on the most part I was lucky and had very supportive friends and family

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Thanks all. I know they mean well, but with it being so close to surgery it's a little of a downer. I have no doubt this is what's best and I'm just so excited.

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"Thanks for your concern. This surgery is a decision my doctor and I have decided is best for my health. My surgery is scheduled for (date) and I'm already pretty nervous. I'd appreciate the support and good thoughts of my friends. If you can't provide that, let's change the subject."

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Agree with @@Bufflehead's statement - it's the perfect response.

You are doing this for your health because we all know that WLS is NOT the easy way out.....it takes a lot of commitment and work - before and after.

True friends will be supportive of YOU despite what they've heard about others' WLS stories before now. There is a certain amount of risk in ANY SURGERY and they should know that.

Now.....take a few deep breaths, refocus on positive thoughts, and relax.

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Thank you! It's so nice to hear positive lol. Not that i don't have support, I do. My mom just turned 70 and is waiting to see how it all goes with me before she decides. My hubby and kids have been amazing, as well as most of my friends. Just so close to it all, that it just gets you thinking. But I am remaining confident and stoked. Cannot wait to find the new me!

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the people who gave me the "dont do it", i didnt say anything else to them about it. i let them have their opinion. because i had more people on my side than not. and once i started to trasnform, i let that speak for itself. good luck! you will be A-OK!

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You have to do what's right for you. Outside of my immediate family I told no one not even my job. Just told them I was taking two weeks vacation I had my surgery may 12. I have already lost 32 pounds and feel great. Everyone is saying how good I look. The surgery was the best thing for me. I'm going away for the 4th of July holiday and brought my first bathing suit in over 10 years. Good luck to you

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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