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Jealous and Frustrated :(



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I have to admit I'm very jealous of those of you who only had/have to wait only a couple months for your surgery. I'm really struggling with the fact that I have to wait through 7 months of supervised diet program before I can even get my surgery date. Is anyone else on here really early in their long ass process? This dieting is hard when you haven't had any medical help yet (surgery). I've lost 13lbs in my first two months...but that's been super hard. Do I even need to worry about losing weight at this point? The struggle is very hard and it just seems like it would be better not to even try to follow a strict deprivation diet until the actual surgery takes place and I can drop weight faster and easier given my new tool. Is there any real benefit putting myself through this torture for a whole 8-9 months before the actual surgery even begins? I'm feeling pretty lonely at this stage. And people who know I'm dieting have no idea it's in preparation for gastric bypass surgery so I can't talk to anyone about my struggle right now...it sucks.

Edited by SeattleFan

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I had to wait for almost a year mostly because of medical problems my last visit is not until aug 19 still i want to get this started

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I understand I had to wait 6 months for mine I really does help if you lose as much weight as you can before surgery. The reason for that is to shrink the liver. If the liver is too bloated from fatty liver disease which most obese people have you could bleed out if they nic it. The liver is very close to the stomach. You don't want that! Totally sucks but totally worth it. What I was told is if when they go in and the liver is still fatty they will not proceed. Yikes. Hang in there!! It will come.

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I had to wait 9 months to the day before my surgery. For me if I lost great, but I was not allowed to gain weight.

The important thing was to build good eating habits during that time and if you did so, you would be more successful longer term.

I lost most of my weight during the two week liver cleanse which was a very strict liquid only and I did not cheat once.

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I'm just getting started in the process . My BMI is 36 and I have been diagnosed with HBP and sleep apnea. I have federal BCBS and I'm not sure how strict they are on low BMI. I do know that I feel below 36 BMI in the past two years so right now I'm very nervous that I will not be approved.

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I'm there with you, however I'm already half way through my supervised diet (it does go faster than you think). I'd focus on one thing at a time with dieting, that's how my diet program works at my surgeons office. I meet with him once a month and he gives me one thing in 3 categories to focus on that month, and hopefully roll over to the next month. Things such as decreasing liquid calories (soda, energy drinks, sugary coffee) and increasing Water intake. Becoming more active, taking at least 30 mins three times a week to do something to increase my heart rate and make me sweat (I have a push lawn mower and mow my lawn once a week, it makes me sweat!). The last topic is behaviors, like how fast do you eat, focus on the favor, texture of the food, put your fork down between bites, meal planning/meal diary. There is an app I was recommended by the office and I really like it. It is called "Lose it" and you can keep a meal diary and add your exercise to it as well, to track and see how you are doing. I haven't been trying too hard but Ive lost 10 lbs. I find busying myself with tasks like meal diary and planning out workouts keeps me preoccupied from thinking about it too much. Good luck!

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I agree with the above statements 6 months seems like a long time but it flys by an during that time you are preparing your body for a major change you are learning to eat healthy, exercise, learn Portion Control and a lot about yourself. Use this time wisely it is so worth the wait and good luck to everyone who decided to be healthy.

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I was a year and a half until I had my surgery after I started my program because I could not lose the weight required by the program (not my insurance). Finally the nutritionist waived the requirement for me because she could see I was trying my best. I'm now 3 weeks post op. The wait was terrible, but you will get through it.

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Thank you all for your comments. It's nice to know that there are others that understand. Also, thanks for the information about the danger of nicking the liver! That really is good motivation to keep trying my best to keep losing weight. Scary!

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My program took me 8 months before my surgery. I was monitored the while time and was scolded if I gained weight. They want to see if you can do what it takes to be successful. My surgeon put it very bluntly, if you won't help yourself in won't help you. Makes sense to me. I would work on losing weight, unless they gave you a number of pounds you need tonlaoe, just lose. My pre op, before liquids, was low carb and it was very easy. The weigh dropped off. I did Atkins meals and snack bars. Limiting my carbs made me have mess cravings and made it easier. Besides this is the type of diet we will have to follow the rest of your lives. If you cant do it now the surgery could be a waste. Just my two cents.

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Clearly I CAN do it since I've already lost 15lbs in 1.5 months so it's not that I'm lazy or unwilling to help myself. I'm not just trying to "not gain weight," but LOSE weight by following a very restricted diet BY MYSELF. But it would be NICE if this period wasn't so long since it's much more challenging and super difficult without the aid of medical intervention.

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I'm sorry, I totally understand. My insurance company fortunately did not require this. But I will tell you, truly try to use this time to eat smaller portions and wrap your head around the surgery. It comes with huge emotional consequences and you will succeed if you're prepared. It sucks, but try to use this time as wisely as possible.

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It's been a year for me too. I finally got through my insurance requirements and the only thing I'm waiting on now is a date.

I can empathize with you whole heartedly about the jealously aspect. It's human nature.

At some point though I had to let go of those negative emotions because it wasn't going to get me through the process any quicker, and I was only making myself miserable.

I can tell you from my own experience that the time will pass by quickly even though it doesn't seem that way now. Use this time to better educate yourself on what life will be like post surgery and start implementing as much of that lifestyle now as you can.

By the end you will discover that there isn't anything you can't do if you're really motivated.

Good luck!

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I had to wait for 3 months per my insurance but from my beginning to actual surgery date was 9 months because of other treatments and a visit to the psychologist! That's another story for another time!!! I would say that the time between was well used by me to get used to a new way of life. It has helped me cope better post operatively with the food mourning. I would suggest keep eating healthy and follow your NUT's recommendations I think it has helped me a lot!

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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