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Those who are unsupportive



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Well, for several reasons I need my parents approval when I do things. I've got that kind of personality. Sometimes I do things against their approval, but I have a lot less anxiety in life knowing they support me.. so it was important they were on board with me.

I didn't know about lap-band. I wanted RNY.. 3 years ago or so. They said they were completely against it, just diet, etc. So I did.. I lost weight.. gained it back.. then this past December, after gaining another 60lbs on top of my highest weight.. I decided I was getting RNY with or without their support. I was doing research to get information put together to convince them this is what I needed to do. That's when I found lap-band. So instead, I presented them all the lap-band info.. before I could show them anything.. I had to take a deep breath and explain.. I was doing this.. and my mom had seen a Dateline on the lap-band the week before I came to her, so the 'fight' never happened. She said she thinks it's a great idea, they support me. I asked if I could get a loan from them to pay for it (my insurance won't cover it), and they said they would pay for it without it being a loan. So that was that.

I'm sure if she hadn't seen Dateline, it would be a relapse of the RNY thing.. how I shouldn't do it, it's unhealthy, I'll get sickly, etc.

Maybe your parents just need the educating!

Get information on it, show them how it's reversible if it ever needed to be, it's adjustable to fit your lifestyle, etc. Show them the death rate, and complications statistics. It's a no brainer when you get to the nitty gritty.

Compared to RNY, where the statistics are scary.. but being the overweight party you're willing to risk it.. even when family is not.

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I am going through the same thing with my parents, only they are split on their support. My dad thinks it is a great idea and my mom thinks it is a horrible idea. I think my mom is against it because she is also overweight and doesn't want to see me weigh less than her. I look at this something that I have to do for my health. I have high blood pressure and it runs in my family. I do not want to die before my time.

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The lapband is great. I am eating healthier and I can wear a size 10 pant now. I think everyone should get banded.

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I am 37 and just went to an informational seminar last week. I took my Mom with me. =) I did it because, while I didn't NEED her approval, I knew that she was very nervous about the whole process and would feel better once she heard all the things I'd been spouting from the actual surgeon. It helped. She liked the surgeon and his talk put her mind at ease.

If you are really close to your parents, educate them. Print things out from online. Don't make it one sided, either. Throw in some of the "good, bad AND uglies" like someone else said. Then they will know you understand the pros and cons and still want to go ahead with it. Give them info on gastric bypass too, so they will know you have chosen a safer route.

And most importantly, when you are banded, when you have bad days (which it seems everyone does sometimes), come here and vent about it. Don't tell your parents or you'll hear " I told you so!" =)

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