Support Groups!

[tlemieux220 138]

I am very open about my WLS, I guess I am lucky that I have all the support from my friends and family. I know a lot of people on this site and other sites want to remain private and not let others in, and they have the right to do this. We are all entitled to be who we are, so I have decided to just post and see what people have to say about this.

I am 47 years old have hidden myself from the world since I was 9 years old when I was told by a counselor that I was fat. I had this WLS for a reason and I am very proud of what I have done. I am very proud of everyone here and on other sites as well, I just wish alot of others on this site and other sites (facebook pages) would be tired of hiding too.

Sincerey, Teresa Lemieux (Tess)

[AvalonNeeCee 127]

Seriously have noticed negativity when I had the band and lost a lot of weight. I felt so good but it was easy for outsiders to make me feel small. Work person was going to suspend me because she thought I had bulimia and I had to get Dr notes so I could come back to work. Didn't tell many people at work that I am getting the sleeve because that same person is against bariatric surgery as her sis had some issues with her surgery, not sure what type. It made me camera shy now, when I was so happy to have the band and be a normal size and feel good. I have only told a few people in my life about the surgery and don't have the same free feeling as when I had the band done. I had to tell her I needed time to get my band damage fixed rather than a new bariatric procedure. I am sure she will think I am bulimic again when I start losing after surgery. Just not her choice or her business but she has managed to mess with my head due to her position at work. I had band removed because it slipped. It is pretty sad what people can do to us instead of being supportive.

[Healthy_life2 8,330]

@@tlemieux220

I am also proud of what I have accomplished. For me I don't feel the need to be the spokes person for bariatrics. And I really don't want to be in that roll. There are people I will open up to about WLS. Only if they are truly interested.

[1SlimmerMe 122]

I personally don't tell many people for several reasons:

1. A lot of people are judge mental and down right mean, or even envious.

2. Telling others creates a certain development of expectation. People expect you to be thin instantly

3. I don't like all the questions.

Once I'm a little further out, I will be more open. I've told quite a few people that i knew would support me, but I still see this as a personal journey and I can't take emotional hitch-hikers right now. I'm 2 months out, just beginning, and it has been great. I just choose not to open my life to everyone right now because I'm learning the new me. I believe I deserve to do so without being under others microscope.

Edited June 5, 2015 by 1SlimmerMe

[Rochellevsg 38]

I have told the people closest to me and my manager because I had to request time off. I have decided not to tell anyone else until after surgery. This is mostly because I don't want to hear anyone try and talk me out of it like my manager at work does. And I'm so tired of hearing "you don't need it. Don't do it". After surgery I believe I'll be very open to talking about it.

I agree with what @@1SlimmerMe said about other people's expectations.

[AvalonNeeCee 127]

Yeah I dont understand why they think they have a right to try to talk us out of it. It is a personal decision and hard to make to begin with. I think envy is usually a reason.

[Jb1176 79]

I never hid what I wanted to do from family and friends. Most were against the surgery but were supportive of my effort to lose weight. Now 8 weeks out they still think the decision was a drastic action but ask about the progress. I knew that surgery was my chance to conquer the weight issue because I had failed at every other diet over 40 years. I still feel supported from family and friends with the realization that they don't have my history and that they would never consider surgery as an option for them. I am me and they are them.

[tlemieux220 138]

I completely understand where all of you are coming from, and the struggles that we have all had at times, I am not trying to get anyone to talk to others about what their jouney is like. I know we are all safe on this site and can talk about how we are all feeling.

My main concern is when you have other groups that you belong too for support, like Facebook and you become friends with others that are going through the samething and you post on your personal page, about your own journey (not theirs) and then they have a hard time with it because they have not come out to their friends and family on their page.

Of course I would never mention any names or other information about these friends, but it just seems odd to me that if you are a friend on my personal page, you should be able to tell me what I can and cannot post about elude to Portion Control, "weeks out" etc.. and then say thanks for understanding.

I guess I will just attend support groups like this one from now on. I get more from it anyway.

[AvalonNeeCee 127]

I do like reading the gastric support page questions on fb but not posting right now on mine until after surgery

[jenkbacon 49]

I didn't tell many people preop. I didn't want to hear people try to talk me out of it as well. I was struggling myself with wether I wanted to go through with it or not. People are very opinionated about it and I wasn't ready to have those opinions. Postop, I have been very open about my surgery. Sometimes, it brings a lot of unwanted attention because people are constantly commenting on my weight loss. It's hard to suddenly have all of that attention! However, that is a small price to pay for how good I feel now. I'm currently 4 months out and I'm down 65 pounds! I feel great and if I had to I would have the surgery again in a heartbeat!

[fau2nvy 28]

i am going thru the fact that my bf seems to encourage me but then at the same time its like he is afraid i am getting the big head. no i am just EXCITED! i am two weeks in and lost 20 lbs. ive been walking two blocks a day. i havent walked in 10 years! like comeon.....i try to include him he tries to overexert me....my friends are not really supporting me...but my parents are....ive learned to just keep it to myself! anybody have advice on dealing with close relatives or spouses?

[Applebootom9 164]

When I started on my journey I only told a few friends. After I got my surgery date I had a meeting with both of my parents. Well surprisingly my father was okay with it and my mother took it a little hard. So she asked questions for better understanding as to why I would go this route. I answered as best as I could for the sake of her comfortability. I realized that her being uncomfortable was because she had never really heard me talk about my weight.

The day of surgery my parents were right by my side 4/13/15. Today my mom is asking me about my progress and has been proud of how I have been accepting of this journey. My father almost doesn't recognize me now and the rest of the family now knows. I have told more of my friends who have been supportive of my choice and have seen my previous struggles.

When asked why did I do it I remind them that I have never been one to workout hard or turn my back on food..ha ha ha. Also because of some of my medical issues it was best decision made. I have been working harder at maintaining the goals that I have set for myself and that is not easy either but I'm happier doing it. You have to know the person you are when making the choices that best fit you, that's what I have done, whether they like it or not I personally don't care.

[LynRey70 56]

I personally don't tell many people for several reasons:

1. A lot of people are judge mental and down right mean, or even envious.

2. Tellings others creates a certain development of expectation. People expect you to be thin instantly

3. I don't like all the questions.

Once I'm a little further out, I will be more open. I've told quite a few people that i knew would support me, but I still see this as a personal journey and I can't take emotional hitch-hikers right now. I'm 2 months out, just beginning, and it has been great. I just choose not to open my life to everyone right now because I'm learning the new me. I believe I deserve to do so without being under others microscope.

That was very well stated Its ok to first learn the new you and be comfortable with how we look and feel. For most of us being heavy was the norm and this is new and so diffrent! I see it like having a new born you have to slowly introduce them to new experiences a little at a time!

Edited June 5, 2015 by LynRey70

[tlemieux220 138]

i am going thru the fact that my bf seems to encourage me but then at the same time its like he is afraid i am getting the big head. no i am just EXCITED! i am two weeks in and lost 20 lbs. ive been walking two blocks a day. i havent walked in 10 years! like comeon.....i try to include him he tries to overexert me....my friends are not really supporting me...but my parents are....ive learned to just keep it to myself! anybody have advice on dealing with close relatives or spouses?

Keep going, this is so exciting. Your family and friends will adventually come around and be more supportive, sometimes it's hard for family and friends to see you go through this extreme because they have seen us go up and down with other diets. My spouse is very supportive, sometimes too supportive, but he is not skinny by any means and wants to tell me what I should be doing, I know he wants the best for me, so I just let him know that until he can do this then he can be supportive but not tell me what I should eat or not eat and I just reasure him that I love him, but I am doing this for me. That usually works.