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The weight loss mental game thread.



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What advice can you give on ways to handle the mental game you have encountered with weight loss surgery? This can be anything from experience to recommendations on a book that has helped.

Here is my example from experience.

Self talk:

anything said to oneself for encouragement or motivation, such as phrases or mantras; also, one's constant internal conversation. (My internal conversation has been negative surrounding my weight for years)

All or nothing mentality:

Either I am all the way in to my weight loss. Some times to the point of perfectionism. Or its nothing about my weight loss. If I have a weak moment and went off my plan. I find it now easy to give myself permission to be in my old bad habits and wallow in it.

Had to ask myself how is my self talk and all or nothing thinking working for me? Are my self talk or all or nothing serving me well? Am I brave enough to try a new way of thinking and change? Because my option could be failure or death.

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Love it!

Here is what works for me right now.

"I don't do that anymore." (Learned that from @Bandista)

I nip negative self talk and blame in the bud every time it starts.

I take on one new habit at a time and stick to it.

Every morning I wake up and write down on a slip of paper what is weighing on my mind or causing me anxiety. It's only one phrase, and often it is related to my food or weight. I staple the slip of paper closed and put it in a special jewelry box. It's my God box. I let God handle it.

I nurture myself with nonfood rewards. Every day, I do something for myself that is comforting and nurtures my soul. Examples are a foot massage, manicure, going to a movie, or my latest pastime, coloring books. Don't laugh. Grown up coloring books are a thing, and it's very relaxing.

I'm eager to read more replies.

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Don't laugh. Grown up coloring books are a thing, and it's very relaxing.

I have learned that this is a thing now. I may have to take it up :)

All or nothing mentality:

Either I am all the way in to my weight loss. Some times to the point of perfectionism. Or its nothing about my weight loss. If I have a weak moment and went off my plan. I find it now easy to give myself permission to be in my old bad habits and wallow in it.

I am the same way. If I can justify it (IE it's still within my daily calorie allowance) I'm okay. But if not, I think I've completely blown it and the negative self talk begins.

The one thing that sticks in my mind is something a wonderful WW's leader I had years ago had said:

"If you're unloading the dishwasher and you drop and break a plate, you don't go ahead and break the rest of them, do you? It's the same with going off plan. Just because you went off for a bit, does't mean you can't immediately just get right back on like nothing happened. MOVE ON."

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@@JustWatchMe

LOVING your ideas!!!!! The God-box...awesome. I have always had a "mental" God-box, and the most important part is not taking the item put in it, back....hard to do sometimes. Can't look back, or take it back. Kinda like saying "Hey, God, you can't handle this as well as I, so I'll take it back and deal with it myself".

Also, the coloring book idea is AWESOME!!!!! I just had a friend in Minnesota the other day ask if she and I could do this together!!! Too funny!!!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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