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Nerves and what if's. Please help!



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To all of you going through pain, I am so sorry for your pain. And will remember you in my prayers. My head is totally screwed after reading all of your posts. And had I not paid already for my op on the 18th of May, I would have backed out.

I have three young kids with a hubby who works away and is the breadwinner of the family with no external family near. And as much as I am aware of the possibility of a complication post op, I can't help to think if I want to put myself and family through this should I have a complication.

I begged my hubby to fund the op for me and he reluctantly agreed after several months of pushing the idea. Is it just nerves that I am going through. Did anyone have similar experience pre op?

**************

And please before you bash me, I have done more than a year's research about the sleeve and I am well informed. Just having these last minute issues.

Tia

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Nerves are perfectly normal, and while complications can and do happen, they are very rare. What kind of health are you currently in? If your main health issue is your obesity and you don't have any other comorbidities or medical disorders, you should be fairly safe. If you have three young children, you must not be very old. Age can also play a role in the likelihood of complications.

When you have people in your life that you love and care about, it's completely natural to worry about their welfare should something go wrong. You have weighed up all of the risks and benefits of this surgery. You say you have researched it for over a year. You made your choice with a clear mind and it's just these last-minute doubts creeping in. Trust in the choice you made when you were thinking more clearly.

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Nerves are perfectly normal, and while complications can and do happen, they are very rare. What kind of health are you currently in? If your main health issue is your obesity and you don't have any other comorbidities or medical disorders, you should be fairly safe. If you have three young children, you must not be very old. Age can also play a role in the likelihood of complications.

When you have people in your life that you love and care about, it's completely natural to worry about their welfare should something go wrong. You have weighed up all of the risks and benefits of this surgery. You say you have researched it for over a year. You made your choice with a clear mind and it's just these last-minute doubts creeping in. Trust in the choice you made when you were thinking more clearly.

Honey that's the most reassuring message I have read all day. And yes I am just 35 with no problems. I am very active and the only reasons for my decision are better health in future as my mum died after battling with two strokes and spending almost 5years in a wheelchair. Plus me wanting a healthier lifestyle for my self, kids especially and my husband who is very thin and makes me look like the worlds fattest wife????????????.

But I so happy to hear from you.

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I don't think there is a single person who had this procedure who was completely free of being nervous about it. I was moderately terrified about the procedure and for the entire 2 weeks afterward I was convinced I had absolutely ruined my life. It is completely normal to be nervous. If you think about it, there is is a thing called negativity bias where we inherently tend to place more emphasis on bad things than good. As a result, a lot of people post on this site when they are upset, nervous, or sick as opposed to when everything is going well, just because you don't need as much support when life is grand. As a result, reading through all of these posts gives you a skewed perspective on life after the sleeve.

Being nervous is normal, you said you're in good health, you're young, and you're doing this to prevent problems in the future. There's this phrase...having courage isn't the absence of fear but the ability to do what needs to be done in the presence of fear. You're doing what needs to be done, so keep going. You're going to be just fine. :)

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Nerves are normal. Complications are rare. You can do this. Follow your doctors instruction and things should go smoothly. Do you have any friends in the area that would be willing to help if there was an issue?

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I'm very positive person....but still as soon I came out of anesthesia I thought for split second....WHAT HAVE I DONE!....then I told my self to shut up and put on my cowboy hat and played some Johnny cash?post-252202-14311265729906_thumb.jpg

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I'm very positive person....but still as soon I came out of anesthesia I thought for split second....WHAT HAVE I DONE!....then I told my self to shut up and put on my cowboy hat and played some Johnny cash?attachicon.gif ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1431126572.398854.jpg

now this is a great nerve killer. I need a hat....! Awesome..

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I think everyone has a "oh my gosh what did I sign up for" kind of moment. Mine was about 2 weeks from surgery .I can tell you though, that after that initial week or so recover I have not for one moment regretted this surgery. It has made me experience so many more things with my kids and husband that I never could have done before. If you are freaking out I would encourage you to check out my blog (linked in my signature). I documented my journey from my very first pre-op appointment until today (20 months post op and recovering from my insurance-covered tummy tuck). And honestly, looking back, after doing both the sleeve and the panni+tummy tuck, the sleeve was a way easier recovery and much easier as far as actual surgery.

It's easy to be scared by the "what if's" and the stories of surgeries gone wrong. I just thought I would offer you my blog as an option for a success story with a happy ending :-)

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You got this.....Yes worries are bound to happen but you will be just fine. I also thought the first week out..."what did I do". Being 3 weeks out now, I love it. Just want to make sure you know there is no lifting 2 weeks post op. So if you have little ones, this could be hard. Otherwise you will fee fine a couple of days after surgery. Best of luck to you.


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I had a moment or 2 of fear before my surgery almost 6 weeks ago. I'm a little older than you are, but active and relatively healthy other than obesity. The surgery was easier than I expected. The pain was totally manageable. I live alone and my family does not live in the same state. A friend brought me home from the hospital after my overnight stay, made sure I was settled and had what I needed. I was fine by myself, with friends checking on me. I am truly grateful for my easy recovery, and so thankful that I did not have any unfortunate complications. I have zero regrets.

Think positive. You have done your research. Good luck!

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Nerves are perfectly normal, and while complications can and do happen, they are very rare. What kind of health are you currently in? If your main health issue is your obesity and you don't have any other comorbidities or medical disorders, you should be fairly safe. If you have three young children, you must not be very old. Age can also play a role in the likelihood of complications.

When you have people in your life that you love and care about, it's completely natural to worry about their welfare should something go wrong. You have weighed up all of the risks and benefits of this surgery. You say you have researched it for over a year. You made your choice with a clear mind and it's just these last-minute doubts creeping in. Trust in the choice you made when you were thinking more clearly.

Honey that's the most reassuring message I have read all day. And yes I am just 35 with no problems. I am very active and the only reasons for my decision are better health in future as my mum died after battling with two strokes and spending almost 5years in a wheelchair. Plus me wanting a healthier lifestyle for my self, kids especially and my husband who is very thin and makes me look like the worlds fattest wife.

But I so happy to hear from you.

I am 44 and like you, I didn't have any co-morbidities. My decision to have the sugery was more of a proactive measure for the same reasons you mentioned. I had ZERO complications....ZERO. If you follow your pre-op diet to shrink your liver, that will also greatly reduce the risk of complications. You'll be just fine and you will feel better each day post op. I WILL BE ROOTING FOR YOU! WOOT! WOOT! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!! :D

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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