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How do you manage family gatherings?



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I'm a newbie, just got sleeved a week ago. As many of us will have, a bunch of graduation parties are right around the corner, I live in Louisiana and that means everything will revolve around food. Any tips on how to remain motivated (AND SANE) when I'm still on a liquid foods phase of my plan?

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I didn't want to eat anything for weeks really. Just drinking nice flavoured Water and then onto Soup was more than enough. Didn't have cravings etc and could look at all nice food and not want it. You've got to really examine what you've done this for and get yourself in the right mindset. Look at before and after pictures of people's success every day. Sort out the first bag of bigger clothes that you're never ever going to have to wear again. Get on these forums and distract yourself.

I make sure that at least twice a week I get online and look up success photos and I also look at some posts from people who have 'cheated' and are struggling to loose weight and I learn from them and that motivates me to stay on plan. It isn't always easy but forget the practicalities of what you can eat because that's easy and focus on new ways of thinking.

Good luck!

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Be ready with your arsenal of excuses and stick to your plan.

"I ate before I came."

"No thanks! It looks great but I am not hungry."

"I'm watching what I eat. Bathing suit season is almost here!"

"My tummy is feeling a bit off today so I'd rather not eat."

"Oh, thanks!! It looks great! Maybe in a bit..."

Sip your tea, ice Water, and enjoy the company!

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For me, it's just like any other day...I had lap band Surgery, and one thing I know...whether I am at a party, a restaurant, vacations, weddings, or going to a "All you can eat" buffet, the band does not change...it is the one constant...this is why I had surgery after all....to do what I did not have the will power or self discipline to do...if I did, then I would not have gone through all this.

But to answer your question...I enjoy myself...I eat what I want, and drink what I want...it's just that due to my surgery, I will not (cannot) overeat...so as always, I try to make thee best decisions as I can and try to eat the healthiest foods there. And as always, when I do eat, I eat very little...

And if you are a lap bander just staring out, your band is not adjusted yet, this is the most difficult time of all..."Bandsters Hell"....I gained weight during this phase, until I had a few fills and finally got into that Green Zone groove...

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I admit family gatherings are hard as everyone keeps an eye on you in order to make sure you ate well. What I do nowadays with lots of experience is eat very very slowly, chat with others while eating with long passes and people won't realise how little you ate.

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Lots of good advice above. Depending on your surgeon's/NUT's food plan for your liquid phase, the only thing I would add is to drink a Protein shake before you leave home and take one with you to drink at the gathering. If you are allowed soft foods when an event rolls around, plan ahead and take what you can eat with you so you can stay on plan. If most of the folks attending these events don't know you've had WLS, they still don't have to know just because you're drinking your meal. Good luck!!! And......CONGRATULATIONS!!!

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Bring your own food that you know you can eat. And brink your own drinks too. Depending on what phase you're in when the parties happen, you'll bring different foods. And don't give in and say "the heck with it". The stronger you stay, the more ingrained the good habits will become, and the more successful you'll be. Drink a Protein shake in the car on the way. Bring a pitcher of Crystal Light that you can use to keep filling up your glass. Once you're on "real" food, have protein-based Snacks with you, like Jerky, nuts, cheese, etc. If you absolutely have to eat at a party, eat the cheeses and meats without the bread. Take it as a challenge to make it through each event without straying from your program. And when you do, claim it as a victory! Good luck!!!

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I agree with others. Eat before and bring along a spare. Then politely decline. Since you are still on liquids drink a shake before and bring one with you. The rest is mental. Have in your mind that you won't be partaking and then congregate in the non food areas so you are further away from temptation.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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