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Suddenly a feel terrified about getting the surgery done. I have so many questions. Will I have a normal life? Will I have cravings and be able to control them? Will I be able to at least have a bite of my favorite desert? (My fat mind is doing all the questions)

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Hi Dema24, I had surgery last Saturday so am 6 days post op. I have been having drinks and Soups. Yes I think we will have a normal life. I can't really say whether you will have cravings as we are all different. I suppose the question you have to ask yourself is what is more important. The food or how you feel about you. Only you can answer that. I am 53 and it has taken me many many years to answer that question for me.

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Your definition of normal will totally change.

I don't know your fat stats, but I can tell you mine. My new normal is fitting into size 8 jeans instead of size 20. My new normal is my two teen daughters searching through my closet for a top instead of telling me that I need to wear something other than black. My new normal is eating in public without feeling like everyone is looking at the fat lady gorging. My new normal is putting a few treats in my grocery cart without feeling self conscious about it. My new normal is being the thin, fit mom at events instead of the fattest lady in the room. My new normal is being able to squeeze down crowded aisles, fit in theater seats, fly comfortably, cross my legs, tie my shoes, paint my toenails, complete a mud run, climb a lighthouse, ride a horse, fasten the safety belt of a roller coaster...

Yes, I can eat a bit of dessert if I choose to, but that's so not important to my new normal.

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Dear LipstickLady

What a great answer. I like your new normal and look forward to mine.

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Thank you @@Davina's and @@LipstickLady for your answers. I know my mind frame will change at some point. You look amazing and the best part is that you feel amazing. I'm still getting adjusted to the idea, building my support group is essential for that.

Edited by dema24

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@@LipstickLady You look amazing!!!!!!!!!!

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I am 100 days post op down 61 lbs and feeling great .In total 85 lbs down from my all time high

Yes Yes Yes life will be normal with in 2=3 months just take it easy

Now i can almost eat anything just much smaller portions .My personal biggest problem is a running nose ,and if I over eat (and it will happen )

I sneeze uncontrollable but I am within 48 lbs of my personal goal

So it was well worth it

Mario 914-536-0007 if you need to talk

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The first months are frustrating. BUT I had a HORRIBLE experience with a soul-less surgeon who has a bad temper.

I have found a GI who has an amazing soul who is fixing the damage and I am beginning to feel more "normal". I eat VERY little but mostly what I want. Get a good surgeon not mine!!! It should be worth it.

My surgeon was in a horrible mood surgery day and he damaged my friend's spleen (she was two cases ahead of me) and my lung. He fussed at her parents about her not losing enough weight prior and how it made his job harder for minutes before they had to ask if she was alive and ok. He said "yes" and walked out. He's MEAN and greedy. BUT there are good ones out there who do care it's worth the wait to get one of those! Trust me!

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I haven't been on the site because of access issues but my surgery is Wednesday and I feel excited to be able to do thing Lipstick talked about and that outweighs my fear of the surgery ;D

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@Davina's @LipstickLady @Mariod811 @Gladys62 @jane13 @Sonnie456

I'm truely thankful for your support. I don't know if you all had these concerns, I believe they are just fases. I will have my surgery done in a couple of weeks, I have yet to decide the date, But I will keep you posted on my process. I'm 24 years old and I have been overweight since I was 11 and I want to put a stop to it before I have a family. Thankfully I have the best surgeon's in my country (because it's two of them and they operate together) they have been very supportive and patient with me.

Edited by dema24

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It sounds like you are in good hands. My surgeon was a smart mouth even before the surgery but my insurance forced me to use him. His lack of compassion and temper are what I believe caused all of my problems.

Good doctors do well and with no problems. You should be fine!

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dema24, I am over 15 months out and I eat anything I want, but what I want has changed. My motto now is EAT LEANER AND TRAIN MEANER. I am working so hard at this - too much to ruin my efforts with excess crap. I have actualyl turned into a nutritarian. That is a person who strives to only fuel their body with real food that actually has some nutritional benefits in it.

I won't say I haven't taken a sample of coffee cake at the grocery store bakery, but in my previous life, I would have baked the coffee cake myself and eaten 1/4 of it before Breakfast. Therein lies the difference. I am not perfect, but I certainly do a lot better with my food choices than I used to. My biggest change aside from volume is that I do not eat anything made in a factory if I can help it.

There are some great recipes on this site that will help you find healthy and pleasant substitutions for foods that used to trip us up. (For the grammar divas, should that be uptrip us?) The World According to Eggface website has a bunch of adapted recipes and the woman who blogs it has her own bariatric success story that is very inspiring.

I am saddened when I hear about our bariatric brothers and sisters who have green meanies for doctors. Mine was awesome and my team has been instrumental in my success. The odds are that you will be just fine. You let them give you a nice nap and when you wake up you will have a new lease on life.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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