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I suppose I've doomed myself to celibacy



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I couldn't possibly reveal the train wreck of a body I make great pains to disguise every moment of every day to another individual, and I can't afford reconstructive surgery either. My only hope at this point is to find a wealthy benefactor willing to pay for a million procedures like some kind of WLS Disney film or winning the lottery.

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Thanks for sharing that kyrickchick! I'm getting ready to start the process and this has been one of my big concerns. That article was very encouraging :)

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I am now down 93lbs heading closer to my goal every single day. I have a lot of loose skin and I know the only way to deal with it is to ultimately have some plastics done when and if I have the money to do so.

At the end of the day, my body looks SO much better than when I weighed 310 lbs and was hiding every inch of it.

I look at pics of me then vs. now and I am shocked at how much better I look. I walk past ax mirror and I have to stop and look because I cannot believe it myself. I have had people tell me how pretty I look.

I have had people tell me that they don't even recognize me and once they realize it is me, they cannot believe how good I look.

Last and certainly most important is how healthy I am now compared to 7 months ago. I thank my lucky stars every day that doctors figured out how to save our lives!

I am ok if I have to keep every wrinkle. It is worth it!

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@Day. I hear you and I understand. Never in my life have I had such continuous, volatile emotions! I am 100% happy 80% of the time, because I have never looked or felt this good. But then I look at the batwings, the tummy apron and the thighs that look like melted candles, and I can't stop obsessing over getting the skin removed. But how to pay?

Its been so long since I contemplated an intimate relationship because of the weight. Now I feel that the skin is a barrier. I'm hoping that if I meet Mr. Right (or Mr. Right Now), it won't matter. After all, I am 57 and men in my age group should be realistic at our age anyway. Guys -- am I right?

Ellen

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I know I'm probably going to be preaching to the choir but here goes.

I too am on my way to a much healthier life filled with compliments and praises from people who see the difference. They don't see the loose skin or the jiggle of the fat that still needs to be lost. Exercise helps with muscle tone and strength, but fat will only break down so fast, and not overnight. It's ok by me because I know that in the end I'll not only look better/different, but will be healthier than I've been in nearly 20 yrs.

We're left with yet another physical issue to contend with....all the extra skin, and how it can also have a huge impact on how we view ourselves. Don't get me wrong I'm thrilled beyond belief to have had the opportunity to have my surgery, and that so many strides have been made in the area of obesity in general.

Here's my issue..... Insurance companies have finally gotten to a point where they'll pay for the WLS but still lag behind in agreeing to cover the surgery needed to complete the process of our transformations. Right now plastics is only covered if it can be proven that there's a "medical" reason for having it such as infection or pain. I wonder about how many WLS patients have just as much emotional pain as they did before surgery because of the residual skin and the inability to get past how it may affect their lives. If the goal is to promote good health in general, where does mental and emotional health come into play? Surely the majority of patients that look into having plastics done aren't doing it because of vanity!!!

I remember years ago when having varicose vein surgery was considered "cosmetic" and also not covered by insurance. Now just about every procedure involving spider and varicose veins is covered. Women all over that have a tiny blue vein around an ankle or behind a knee are running to surgeons to get them fixed, and insurance pays for it. Am I wrong to think that WLS if far more deserving of a plastic surgery procedure that is made necessary because of a medically necessary WLS????

Just wondering....

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I see that you posted from the new singles forum, so maybe you will find your love connection there. I met my fellow on-line and we have been together nearly nine years. At the time, he was 54 and I was 53.

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train wreck of a body

@@Day

i am at goal with hanging skin (especially my non existing rear end skin)........... :wacko:

i rather be thin/average weight with excess skin :)

than being morbidly obese ;)

kathy

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I couldn't possibly reveal the train wreck of a body I make great pains to disguise every moment of every day to another individual, and I can't afford reconstructive surgery either. My only hope at this point is to find a wealthy benefactor willing to pay for a million procedures like some kind of WLS Disney film or winning the lottery.

I also hide the wrinkled skin but I don't want to be celibate so I'm going out on a limb and meeting men online and going out on dates with some of them. I'm not yet intimate with anyone but I know it will happen at some point. I'm just betting on what I've seen so far, which is that a man who thinks he might be lucky enough to get a little something something, isn't thinking about the excess skin as much as he's thinking about scoring. At least that's been my experience so far.

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Thanks for sharing that kyrickchick! I'm getting ready to start the process and this has been one of my big concerns. That article was very encouraging :)

She is my hero

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I am sure Steve Harvey would agree. In his opinion there is someone for everyone.

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@@Day In my opinion, physical attributes just don't really matter- except maybe for the very young!

If someone loves you than some sagging skin shouldn't send him shrieking out the door, and if it does, than maybe that love wasn't very genuine. Of course, just keeping the lights out and a small candle lit might just take care of the issue too!

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I have been going through a time of being very down on myself for the loose skin on my neck and stomach areas. I know I'm being a jerk to myself and the right guy won't even care at all.

It's just hard after going through so much to lose the weight to still have things bothering me. Eventually I will pay for plastics but for now I just want to be able to love myself and still be intimate with a man if I find one to love. I don't want to put my life on hold.

That was a great article and it really shows how we are our biggest judges when the rest of the world thinks we are beautiful.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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