Emotional Wreck

[yamshams 24]

I've been great at dealing with everything so far, but I'm about four days away from starting my liquid diet and I'm finding myself starting to ride the emotional rollercoaster. I'm scared of the surgery, I'm scared of not being able to ever eat normally again, I'm scared of my relationships changing, I'm scared of having no support, and I'm scared of how I'm going to look after all of this (silly, but it's a thing that's bugging me).

How do I deal with all of this? What did you guys do to cope?

[Graciesmom04 184]

Sorry you are feeling this way. That's never easy for anyone. I didn't think about all that. I tried pushing it all out of my mind and just focused on one day at a time. I was very nervous of the surgery but kept trying to tell myself it was all going to be okay. I would deal with how I looked in the end, at the end. As for what you can and can't eat....everyone goes through this in their own way. I've read several people post they can eat anything and everything and not have any issues....I myself, can't eat meat. But, I'm only 3 mo's out. The Dr said give it 6 mo's and all should be good. Each day I find something new to try and it works. So..you can't be scared of the unknown. I will say trying sweets now...or candy...I have no desire. They are all way to sweet and I just don't want them. That can only be a win win! Good luck. Add me as a friend, if you want and I'll help be your support team!

[GreenEyes604 753]

If you feel the need to be afraid of something, find something different. Be afraid of the things that could happen because you DIDN'T have WSL.

Be afraid of developing diabetes and all the complications that come along with that.

Be afraid of becoming home bound because its too difficult to walk down the street to the corner.

Be afraid that you won't be able to play with your kids or grand kids because you just don't have the energy.

Be afraid of all the co-morbidities that you currently don't have, but could develop without significant weight loss.

Be afraid of not living a long healthy life!

Now those are things to be afraid of!

[Kiba 47]

I've been great at dealing with everything so far, but I'm about four days away from starting my liquid diet and I'm finding myself starting to ride the emotional rollercoaster. I'm scared of the surgery, I'm scared of not being able to ever eat normally again, I'm scared of my relationships changing, I'm scared of having no support, and I'm scared of how I'm going to look after all of this (silly, but it's a thing that's bugging me).

How do I deal with all of this? What did you guys do to cope?

This is all so normal, I can completely relate!

I'm about a month out and it has been quite the journey from post to pre-op. I promise you it does stabilize but it requires a lot of patience toward yourself above anything else. Surrounding yourself with positive energy is so important. Post-op when I was on my liquid diet, I avoided a lot of my friends; though it seems unhealthy, they were very understanding. It just was the right thing to do to avoid surrounding myself with potential triggers with food and drink. I kept busy, continued my work, hobbies, and eventually the operation day came and I felt nervous but confident.

The afterwards was the hardest part, still is -- your emotions will go through some insane changes, some based on hormones, others based on the trauma of the surgery. It gets so much better. I remember the first week, I cried so much fearing I couldn't eat ever again, telling myself I ruined myself (truthfully!) But now at 5 weeks, I am so happy with this decision. I just started on normal foods (slowly) and it has gotten easier, my energy levels are coming back, I am eating small but yummy foods again, I KNOW I will eventually be able to try more of my favorites (within moderation) and stay away from the awful ones that hurt me.

If you're honest with the people in your life, be open and communicate. I had to explain every emotion to my boyfriend and family members so that they could respond appropriately to my needs; remember no one can read your mind! Also keep in mind, it's a chance to improve yourself, it is a lot of work but the other alternative is struggling with health in a more mentally demanding and exhausting manner. I made this decision to be healthy and feel good about myself; your heart will tell you if it's the right one for you.

[Miss Mac 6,262]

At fifteen months post-op, I can admit that the ride has been crazy for me, too. I am still tweaking my everyday balance between fluids, Proteins, carbs, fats, trying to get all the requirements into one day.

Do I miss soda pop? Not anymore. It is a distant memory of reflux and bloat.

Do I miss Pasta? Oh yeah, but I enjoy feeling light and healthy more. Once in a while ( a couple of times a month) I might have as much as my four-year-old granddaughter might eat, but focus on the meat sauce and green veggies served with it.

Do I miss bread? Yep. I am allowed 1 slice of wheat bread per day, but I find that the starchy carbs slow my roll, so I had to give up bread like a bad rash.

Am I ashamed of my new body that now looks like a pencil with a life-saver candy around the middle? Not any more. It is a badge of courage and a rite of passage on the way to the new me. In December, when I hit my two year mark, My insurance will pay for floppity skin removal - so I am going for it.

Changing relationships is not a bad thing. Bariatric success will expose the true nature of your relationships, and you want the truth, don't you? It happens because we become stronger emotionally. You want to be stronger emotionally, don't you? You have no doubt heard the quote from the movie NETWORK when the anchorman is finally just sick and tired of being devalued. Ratings are down and he is the scapegoat for the blame. On air, he yells out "I am mad as hell and I am not going to take this anymore." Then the ratings spike. But, here is the point:

As people respond to the news of your surgery and your very visible success, they become more bold and outspoken. Their real feelings and opinions come out. It is painful, but it is how you find out who has your back and who is using you or controlling you. The information is so liberating and lets down the veil that has being hiding the true nature of each relationship. This is information you need and should be welcomed instead of feared. Finally, you will know how the peopla around you REALLY feel about you. Then you deal with it.

Not all of the exposure is bad. In spite of the fact that my companion of nine years was vocally supportive, inwardly I was afraid that he was a chubby chaser and would not love me anymore if I were at a more healthy weight. We have enjoyed a healthy and uncommonly amazing intimacy for folks in their sixties, which the cobwebs in my mind were telling me was because coming from a huge family of huge people, I had been taught that "meat is for the man and bone is for the dog". And he has difinitely been enthusiatic for my wiggly jiggly parts. I should mention that he is very tall and very thin. Pre-op we looked like a pencil and an apple standing together.

Anyway, what the outcome of my surgery has revealed is that he loves me NO MATTER WHAT and wants me to be healthy. Besides, losing weight has given me more energy and more Betty Boopness. I had no idea at age twenty that I would be and feel my sexiest in my sixties!

Don't you worry so much. You will gain far more than you lose. When you shower off the dirt at night, do you miss the dirt? No. You enjoy the freshness of being cleansed from the dirt, and new skin cells can grow to replace the dead dirty ones that sloughed off.

The surgery itself for me was like a nice little nap, and when I woke up it was the birthday of the new me. I got to re-invent myself from the inside out. The discomfort you will experience from the physical insult of surgey will be long forgotten by the time you approach your first year. I wish you all the best. Now, you go out there and get healthy!

[yamshams 24]

Thanks, guys! I feel a lot better knowing that there are other people that had these doubts. I've been level-headed about the whole process thus far, but getting closer and closer to the big day has just rooted out all of my fears and insecurities. Thanks for the great advice!

[mykdzmom 388]

@@yamshams - Glad you made this post!

@@Miss Mac - Wow! I needed to read this post. Thanks for taking the time to share it.