Can I get a hug and maybe some guidance?

[Stevehud 1,790]

Please remember this, ( a kis is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh...) oh wait sorry wandered off there. But, noi one here can make up your mind, you have to do a lot of soul searching. this is not something to be entered into lightly. Once altered you will NEVER be normal again. You can look great and feel great but your stomach cannot ever grow back. its not possible physically, ever period. That's a big burden to bear, so please do not tread lightly into these waters. If you have doubts, they will be magnified, if you cannot give up food as your friend, then do not do this. It takes more than just the want to be thin and buy new clothes ( although its fun as hell but i digress) its all about life-saving changes to make you into a happy and HEALTHY person. It's about shedding the fat person skin and becoming the you that you knew could exist but doesn't now.

Its all up to you. We will be here for support and hugs, but like Smokey The Bear Says, Only you...

[LipstickLady 25,682]

My doctor recommended me for bariatric surgery. She said I am a "prime candidate". The surgeon is supposed to be calling me soon to schedule my first appointment. Before all this, I actually have been attending a class on Mindful Eating (which is required for bariatric patients) but I was just taking it in an effort to become more in-tune with myself and my food issues. I honestly had never even considered weight loss surgery. I always saw it as something I would never do, as a last resort for people who couldn't lose the weight, who had hundredS of pounds to loose, or who have major medical issues. But here I am at 246lbs and only 5'0. My BMI is 48, I should probably loose 125-ish lbs. I have been heavy pretty much my entire adult life. I do not have any major medical issues, but my father passed away due to type 2 diabetes complications in his late 40's and my mother has high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I have tried everything to lose weight, and I have been semi-successful in the past (never got to goal though), only to be derailed by pregnancy. Then after baby, I get back on track and loose some weight, then gain some, loose some, BAM pregnant again, and the cycle continues I'm sure you all know the story. I am having a hard time coming to terms with the idea of weight loss surgery. It is very overwhelming and kind of humbling. I am still in the getting info stage, but the way I have been thinking about it and talking about it to my hubby and my Mom, I feel like I have already decided. But I'm scared to admit it to myself. Seeing as though I have no major medical issues, I feel like this is a little motivated by vanity. And I really struggle with that. Maybe that is my fat brain trying to convince me not to do it? I *AM* morbidly obese, 246lbs is WAY too much for my little 5'0 frame to carry, I am sore and tired all the time. I do get winded on short walks. And I do need to do something if I don't want to end up like my Dad. But does it really need to be WLS? I do feel desperate, like I have exhausted every other option. I am ashamed of having WLS...is that normal? I feel like my family does not support it...and they are all frowning upon me for looking into it. I know their opinions "do not matter", but it's hard to ignore EVERYONE around me. Even my hubby "just doesn't really like the idea", but he will support me in whatever I decide to do. (But long story, I feel like he kind of sub-consciously likes me fat and insecure as he is very heavy as well) I just don't know how I feel about the whole thing. I want to be excited about it, but it's hard.

First and foremost... HUGS. It's going to be OK.

Second.... I totally feel you. I never considered myself a WLS candidate because I had NO health issues, I was always great at losing weight, I was happy, I'm successful, my husband was happy with me, I could do almost anything I wanted to do and I didn't feel THAT fat. (5'3" 264#s) I could have written your story word for word.

I never wanted to admit defeat, I was always positive that the next time I did WWs or Atkins or whatever would be the **MAGIC** time -- the time I would finally lose my weight and keep it off. WRONG.

About 4 years ago, a best friend had VSG. I followed her journey very closely. I vacationed with her, I stayed at her house for a week, she stayed at mine for the same. I watched what she ate, what she couldn't, how fast she lost, what her skin looked like after. I then waited another year to see how well she would keep it off. Then I had mine.

I've never been happier. Best decision ever. I lost the weight before I could develop diabetes, before my back started hurting, before I needed knee surgery. I wish I would have done it 15 years ago. Vanity or not, it fixed a lot of issues I was developing Healthwise and I am thrilled I finally made the plunge.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I had never even heard of VSG surgery until, after calling the local bariatric center of excellence to ask about lapband surgery, it was explained to me. A month later I attended the intro lecture given by the surgeon and realized THIS was something that made sense to me.

I didn't know anyone who'd had VSG surgery. And now that I think about it, I don't personally know of anyone who's had lapband or gastric bypass surgery either. (Or if I do, they're on the down low about it.)

Anyway, it just all made great sense to me: The restriction, the ghrelin, the year or two to learn and practice brand new ways of eating, etc.

So far, my sleeve loves me, and I love it. Apparently, I had a great surgeon. I've never thrown up even once post-op. I'm 4 pounds from goal (and only 7-1/2 months post-op). I haven't had any real stalls. I feel great. At this point I'm eating 1,200 calories/day (and nearly 100 grams of Protein daily) and still losing weight, albeit slowly.

I saw my NUT and exercise consultant yesterday. They both think I can eat 1600 - 1700 calories a day to maintain my weight after I reach goal. Hey! I can live with that!

Honest to God ... VSG surgery was the smartest, luckiest, most rewarding thing I've done in my whole life to reach a healthy weight. And it has the greatest odds of anything else I've ever done to maintain my weight.

I'm looking forward so much to the rest of my life. Heck, I'm looking forward to dinner tonight!

And best news of all ... hubby finished his chemo treatment today. And he is currently cancer-free.

Life offers no guarantees. But you makes your choices and you takes your chances. And tonight, in this house, life is wonderful.

To quote Auntie Mame: Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

And best news of all ... hubby finished his chemo treatment today. And he is currently cancer-free.

That, my friend, is the best thing I've read all day. All week! Hell, all winter!!!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Thank you, @@LipstickLady .

Isn't it great?!

[ilikecake2much 65]

@@VSGAnn2014 AMAZING!!!!! That is THE BEST NEWS ever!! So happy for you and your hubby!!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Thank you, @@LipstickLady .

Isn't it great?!

Better than great!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

@@VSGAnn2014, that's the second cancer-free news I heard today (my friend just had thyroid surgery) and it's wonderful !!!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Thank you, @@JustWatchMe ...

Congrats to your friend. That news feels SO good!

[blondebomb 580]

I soo wasted 30 yrs and self denial and sick for 25 of them yrs. yo yo dieting all them yrs. the more I lost the more was gained each time! by 50 yrs old 2 specialist sent me to WLS I had hit over 270 pds and 30 of it in 1 month. I have ended up over these yrs with over 12 dx's. thyroid disease and prediabetic as 2. If I hadn't done this and it was strictly my decision and being sick and tired of being sick and tired and the buying the plus size numbers just kept going up and up!! ugh..truthfully disgusted and angry with myself bc of being sick. I was NOT a binge eater. emotional crutch sure. love eating?? no..I ate to fill a void that I had finally come to terms with and got to the bottom of the issue. when I reached that peace out of the blue both these dr's in the same week directed me to the sleeve. my endocrinologist said I would continue to just get bigger and bigger even only eating less the 1000 calories a day that I was consuming. I refused to end up a couch potatoe and miserable and hardly getting up and down and wasting another minute of my life being obese. I said enough was enough for me. this was my life saver. I didn't tell but a select few which was my hubs which is my biggest supporter and he looked at this as being able to not only get healthy but to help him as well he is diabetic yet watches his diet. before I knew it I filled out the surgeons questionnaire was called within 5 days had my 1st app was enrolled in all required preop classes had blood work, already had the required tests done a yr earlier by my internists so the surgeon already knew what was going on with me..I was 3 months from 1st app to surgery day and now I am reaching my 9 month PO in another wk and over 100 pds down I swear its the best thing I ever did. my extended family and friends still don't no and that's cool with me. it was hard enough mentally and emotionally going through the withdrawals without others giving their uneducated opinions. that worked for me. but the benefits sure does outweigh the risks. I was already on the wrong path we stopped it dead in its tracks. yea I second guessed my decision till the night before surgery its normal..I was scared but excited for a new body and life and I was willing to turn my life around. soo happy I did this. do your research. I don't use food. it doesn't control me. I control it to live. I have replaced food with other things. these positive changes you can use to benefit your immediate family. I love the restriction this sleeve does. I watch what I eat. I had to change my thoughts our society has us programmed and slammed with commercials on food and out of controlled portions. my choices on my plan has worked and the baby tummy has been a blessing! I am glad you found this site. you'll learn alot...you'll find the good/bad/and the ugly to all sides. everyone is different and have their personal struggles. but in the end this site is for ones who are either thinking about or are veterans with yrs of wisdom and experiences that has helped me tremendously! I'm thankful for this site and I am thankful for my dr's looking out for my welfare and directed me to the right place ..my surgeon. I am 51 and my life now is better then ever despite my diseases! there is hope and I am living and active and sitting on the way side watching my life go by and I am not having the pity party I was in for yrs no more! I have cleaned out my closet 4 times already and luv shopping again! 27 yrs have gone by that I can not get back. wish you the best sorry I'm so winded! lol..I walk with my head high now and not hiding on the sides... keep us posted dear..

[blondebomb 580]

I forgot to send you hugs!! and remember YOUR NOT ALONE!! and I LUV reading the men's perspectives! yes guys your appreciated so much!! you do what YOU need to do for YOU..its a lifetime of a lifestyle CHANGE and it will be successful when followed closely. later dear! xxxxxx

[Cleo's Mom 257]

And best news of all ... hubby finished his chemo treatment today. And he is currently cancer-free.

As a cancer survivor (so far) myself I am always happy to hear of someone who is cancer free after treatment. I wish him continued success and good health.

[Miss Mac 6,261]

Famil history of obesity, diabetes, stroke, heart disease ARE considered co-morbidities. My mother died just a little older than I am now. She was 5'2" and weighed 32o pounds when we buried her. MY olderst brother died of a heart attack at the age of 47, weighing over 420 pounds. His funeral was delayed a week while a special oversized coffin could be built. Here is a list of co-morbities from The National Institute of Health, a government agency (nih,gov): Hugs from Chicago

Obesity Comorbidities

To follow is a list of comorbidities (additional conditions or diseases) related to obesity which may help you in qualifying for weight loss surgery.

• Family history of heart disease
• Family history of stroke
• Family history of diabetes
• Family history of heart attacks
• Hyperinsulinemia
• Diabetes
• High blood pressure
• Coronary-artery disease
• Hypertension
• Migraines or headaches directly related to obesity or cranial hypertension
• Congestive heart failure
• Neoplasia
• Dyslipidemia
• Anemia
• Gallbladder disease
• Osteoarthritis
• Degenerative arthritis
• Degenerative disc
• Degenerative joint disease
• Recommended joint replacement from specialist
• Accelerated degenerative joint disease
• Asthma
• Repeated pneumonia
• Repeated pleurisy
• Repeated bronchitis
• Lung restriction
• Gastroesophageal reflex (GERD)
• Excess facial & body hair (Hirsutism)
• Rashes
• Chronic skin infections
• Excess sweating
• Frequent yeast infections
• Urinary stress incontinence
• Menstrual irregularity
• Hormonal abnormalities
• Polycystic ovaries
• Infertility
• Carcinoma (breast, colon, uterine cancer)
• sleep apnea
• Pseudotumor cerebri
• Depression
• Psychological/sexual dysfunction
• Social discrimination
• Premature death in the immediate family
  

[LipstickLady 25,682]

@@Miss Mac

Hugs to you, too. Heartbreaking.

[jane13 2,256]

• Wow what a list that Miss Mac posted.....I knew about half....that is crazy. Hurry up BCBS fed emp approval. I have hypertension, headed towards diabetes, Migraines and anemic. I probably have sleep apnea but I have never been diagnosed. Urinary stress incontinence and arthritis are coming, too.