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How to tell your 4 yr old?



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why oh why would you tell a 4yr old???your going to the dr that's it end of dicussion

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My boys are 6 and 8.

I told them I was going to have an operation to make my life better, that it would limit how much I could eat so I wouldn't be as big any more. That would mean I would be healthier and around for a lot longer. We also discussed my stay in the hospital and that my stomach would be sore for awhile after coming home, so to be careful.

They've been great.

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Hi fuzzywhitebunny! I have an 8yo son and a 4yo daughter. I gave them as little information as possible, and they haven't really asked many questions. I told them that I had to have an operation, and that I would be in the hospital for 2 nights and daddy would be taking care of them. Since it's flu season, I chose to not have them visit me in the hospital (although my daughter ended up being with my husband when he picked me up). We gave them lots of reminders about being "gentle with mama", and I showed them both my incisions when I got home. I also told them matter-of-factly that I couldn't eat regular food yet (and during the pre-op diet, that I had to have just shakes to "get ready for my operation"). I still say that now, that the doctor says I can't have certain foods, and that I can't eat much.

Honestly, kids take so much at face value! Even my very bright 8yo who wants to be a doctor when he grows up isn't too interested in the nitty-gritty. (Although, it helps that he had to have an appendectomy a couple years back--I can say "Like when YOU had your operation!")

My husband read them "Curious George Goes to the Hospital" a few times while I was gone, and he had them make get-well cards for him to bring me in the hospital. This helped them feel like they were doing something valuable, I totally recommend it.

You will be great. Best of luck!

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I have a 2, 5, 7 year old. I haven't told them anything yet really. I'm just going to tell them that the dr is going to make me healthier and that I have to stay in a hospital for 2 nights.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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