Keeping weight loss surgery a secret

[mandyboo 21]

How many if you didn't tell your friends or other mums at school? The only person I've told is my mum. I floated the idea with a skinny friend and she got really funny and negative... Told me I would die. I've not spoke to her since or told anyone else.... :-( I'm 229 lbs and 5'3 - surgery 27th feb :-)

[whirlwen 65]

I actually posted a similar question a few days ago on here and the responses varied a lot! Some people are very open about it while others prefer to keep it private. I myself have only told a few people--my husband, children, parents and a couple co-workers who are struggling with their weight as well. I have decided if people ask, I will just tell them that I have been working hard on eating well and exercising. Do what you have to do to take care of yourself and don't let others bring you down--that's their issue, not yours. I have yet to speak to anyone who has had this surgery who has regretted it.

[JamieLogical 8,727]

Very few people know about my surgery. My family and my husband's family know, but only two of my coworkers do.

[Babbs 14,681]

Oh boy, it's THIS thread again.....

You are going to find a wide variety of opinions on this subject. You will need to do what you are comfortable with.

Me? I'm an open book. I tell everyone. And I could give a %$#@ what people do or do not think about it. Because of that, people in my life have been VERY supportive. At least to my face

[ProjectMe 909]

Only my husband and children know. I'm a very private person and wouldn't dream of telling others. Plus I've noticed from a few others who have had weight loss surgery at my work, who decided to make their surgeries known, that people watch their eating like a hawk. Ready to pounce and call "foul" when something "bad" is eaten. Then these same people they trusted by telling them of the WLS begin to judge them and make negative comments. My conclusions are...it's not a good idea to tell folks if you plan to eat whatever in moderation after WLS, because not only will you be judged but so will weight loss surgeries in general.

[mandyboo 21]

Sorry if this has been posted before. It's my first time on this journey so I'll probably be wondering lots of things that others have wondered many times before.

Thanks for the other replies tho... I'll probably keep quiet about it as I have zero supportive friends.

I'll keep lurking and reading other peoples posts :-)

[Grateful_Love 114]

My husband and one close friend knows. I'm waiting to schedule now. I told my boss that I'm having a stomach ulcer repair and a hernia repair. I haven't been with my company a full year yet so I will be using personal, sick, and vacation time.

Im not going into detail because I don't want to be watched like a hawk, I don't want to hear the negativity about it later if I don't lose miraculous amounts of weight, and I don't feel like it's anyone's business. Because frankly, everyone has an opinion and I get a little sassy when I feel challenged or judged and I don't want to ruin relationships with my coworkers defending myself.

All I need to do is schedule and then play the waiting game and no one knows a thing except my husband, and a friend who is going through the process with me.

[A'sgotthis 49]

Grateful_Love said "everyone has an opinion and I get a little sassy when I feel challenged or judged and I don't want to ruin relationships with my coworkers defending myself."

I totally agree with this!! I respond the same way (just a bit defensive, huh?) LOL and won't be telling anyone I work with about this.

Edited February 16, 2015 by A'sgotthis

[Golflady 19]

For me a few close friends that love me without judgment and one of my family members - other than that nobody. It is your journey, do what is comfortable for you!!

[bdcsail 72]

I only told my husband and one friend. Not even the rest of my family including my parents and kids don't know. I have heard the rumours that some people think I did something "crazy" like gastric bypass. I just feel it is nobody's business except for my own. I don't regret the decision at all not to share it with others.

[gilit 2]

I am having surgery next week and have decided to tell only a few close friends. I am a teacher and the people around me are always dieting. I am sure that once the weight starts falling off they will talking about me behind my back and make assumptions.....honestly, I don't care!

[khaske1 14]

I have only told those really close to me!

[Jazmundo 58]

Hardly anyone knew about it before hand but now everyone knows. I get good comments and bad comments but ... I DON'T CARE!! It's my body and I made the best decision for me.

[allyray 108]

I have chosen to only tell a few close friends and selected family members. My sons, who are 8, 16, and 17, know but I just found out tonight thsy then older boys have told their girlfriends. I am very upset with them for breaking my trust on this one, but they both have said that everyone will be asking once the weight starts to fall off. Plus, they are "in love" (gag) and they don't like to keep anything from them! Anyhow I'm worried now that they will tell their mothers, friends , etc... I kind of feel cheated! Kind of like when I was newly pregnant for our first son and I told one person, and it soon spread like wildfire.

[mandyboo 21]

Oh no allyray, that's terrible for you! That's my biggest worry, the other mothers at school finding out. I've been the subject of school gate gossip for the last 12 months and it's horrible, I don't want the same mean people to talk about me for this too.

My dad is a real gossip and can never keep a secret... And he often collects my kids for me. I may have to tell him a little fib.....