I've gained and it's my fault.

[jasminebsn3 119]

Girl this is just what I needed. Thanks for sharing!!!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.

Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.

1. You can gain the weight back

2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery

3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile

4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op

My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.

My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.

Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.

For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.

My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.

Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.

Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.

I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>

I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.

But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.

So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.

I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.

If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.

So if I can give you guys any advice:

1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.

2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.

3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try

4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.

And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.

Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.

Here's to hoping I can look like this again

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1422513771.303055.jpg

Hows it going?

[MBM1Forever 107]

I am always surprised by the strictness in eating from bariatric patients. Being all or nothing is what has gotten me where I was. I eat until I feel full using the guidelines. Protein first, veg and a bite or two of carb foods. I don't rule anything good or bad and just eat until I feel that feeling that says I am done. I eat three meals and don't do Protein supplements. I am hopeful that eating like this will help me not to go back to the way I was.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience.

I hope you are able to put together a good support team in your new home.

There is a reason the 12-step program for alcoholics also works for food addicts. You may want to explore AA and/or OA, or find a good counselor or therapist.

Best of luck and thanks again for sharing your story.

[Cien 0]

What is the 5-day pouch test?

[feedyoureye 3,087]

What is the 5-day pouch test?

http://5daypouchtest.com/plan/theplan.html

the results will not last unless you change your eating habits after finishing the test. It helps to get back onto a Protein first track.

[Arielle Phoenix 12]

I support you and hear you, loudly and clearly! This journey isn't for whimps! For sure! Lol I, too, have struggled with fear, emotions and wanting carbs back. I lost an initial 170 pounds, but got scared, as a survivor of sexual abuse. I put back on 20 pounds and have been up and down with those. My goal is still 40 lbs away. I decided that there was no way, as an emotional compulsive overeater, that I could change my old defense of hiding behind food and using it to medicate my emotions without getting help. I have gone to therapy, worked my butt off writing, talking, praying and meditating, as well as, tracking my food and being honest. It all works together for me. If I leave any part out, I go right back to old coping skills, which got me to my pre-surgery weight to begin with! It's not easy, to be sure, but I am learning to love myself right where I am today! I hope you gather strength and hope in simply knowing that you aren't alone on this WLS journey! Good job reaching out and deciding to turn your direction around! We care

,️

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[ladybugg73 0]

I feel your pain! I too am a weight gain after 8 yrs of having gastric bypass... I was good for the first 4 years then the weight came back due to being depressed over losing a loved one. I was 298 at surgery 10 months later I weighed 156 ... A year later I was 135 I am now back to 230 and very depressed! I work out weight training 3 days a week for a hour and walk everyday 2miles and every night I use my elliptical and bike for a hour ... I have gone back to basics and no weight loss ???? went back to surgeon and he didn't seem to care!

[Dub 10,057]

I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.

Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.

1. You can gain the weight back

2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery

3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile

4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op

My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.

My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.

Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.

For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.

My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.

Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.

Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.

I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>

I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.

But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.

So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.

I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.

If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.

So if I can give you guys any advice:

1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.

2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.

3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try

4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.

And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.

Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.

Here's to hoping I can look like this again

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1422513771.303055.jpg

Guess what? You ARE the beautiful girl in the picture.

You are just a wiser and battle tested version of her.

You know how to get back there and you WILL do it.

Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and advice. I am better for hearing it.

[The Candidate 3,215]

That took a lot of courage to post and we all appreciate your incredible honesty. I am only a 6 day out bypass and I promise I will heed your example.

You are an amazing woman, I hope you know that.

What happened to you could happen to any of us, at any point. Thanks again.

[sundiate2 2]

All I have to say is Girl thank you!!! You hit me right in my face. I'm two years out and still haven't hit my goal and noticed I had gained 10 pounds ( that's a no no) The alcohol is a big thing for me and I so know that this was so meant for me to see. I thank you and know this I believe you can do it. We are struggle at some point but having read this from you has really helped me. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story.

[Kissifur 244]

For those that are 2+ years out and experienced regain have you ever heard of bariactriceating.com? They have a 48 hour reset followed by Back on Track diet (I hate to use the D word). I found them while looking for support because although I have not had any regain I was on the fast track. They have a group on Facebook and everyone there is saying the eating plan (free) has helped them lose a significant amount of regain.

Edited August 7, 2015 by Kissifur