Judge not, lest ye be Judged

[Stevehud 1,790]

So since I've had so many problem with so many people. I thought maybe I should've started off more with who I am. So to those that will bother, here's a little reason why I feel the way I do and why I do what I do.

http://weymouth.wickedlocal.com/article/20140812/News/140819260

[old_rn 110]

Very interesting. I hope you are doing well in your weight loss journey. Surgery really is about changing your life in a drastic manner for your very survival

[LipstickLady 25,682]

So here's the thing, Steve. We are all traveling the same "journey" -- we simply have different ways of getting to wherever our goal might be. One thing I can say with almost absolute certainty about this board is that we've all been fat, many of us most or *all* of our lives. We've all had our share of issues relating to and unrelated to our weight. I'd almost bet that we are all looking for better health, healthier relationships, love, friendships, acceptance, maybe online, maybe not.

Many people here have had MUCH easier lives than you, I'd bet, and many people here have had much harder lives. Something my grandmother used to tell me when I was complaining about whatever was happening in my life was that there is always going to be someone smarter, dumber, prettier, uglier, richer, poorer than you. We have no choice but to work with what we have been given and do the best with what we've got.

If you want to be here, I want you to be here. If you want to contribute and talk and chat and vent and Celebrate, fabulous! If you don't, if you think that this is an unhealthy place for you to be, then don't be here.

What I don't want for you, and I say this with all the sincerity I can muster, is for you to continue to tear down the potential to build some really great relationships. Do you know that I have met *in person* at least 10 people from this board, one of whom I consider one of my closest friends? I belong to an outside group with 50+ people from here, a group that I would not trade for the world as they are my closest allies in this struggle towards better health. These fabulous people that I can call friends (and yes, there are about 10 guys in that count) are the only people who can really understand what I am going through. They understand the fears, the joys, the struggles, the accomplishments... They understand how it feels to be constipated for a week and then have poop Soup for three days straight, to be able to eat chicken one day and then heave it up no matter how it's prepped for the next three. They get it when I am excited about a new pair of jeans or a new recipe. They get how great skinnier sex is and how I might feel about my loose skin flopping around when I Zumba. My non WLS friends are happy for me, too, but it's not the same.

I do not want you to lose that option here and I am afraid that you are working really hard towards that very end. It's OK for you to be on your journey just as it's OK for me to be on mine. Our goal is the same, but the path we are taking and the things we will see and experience along the way may or may not be the same. I won't judge you if you don't judge me and I won't be offended if you disagree with me as long as you agree to the same.

It's not OK to call names. It's not OK to tell people to "F off". It's not OK to tell people they are WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! and it's not OK to think that your way is the ONLY way.

It is ok, however, to share your experiences, your triumphs and your disasters. Make friends, Steve, I know you can.

Edited January 13, 2015 by LipstickLady

[maggie0210 117]

Your an inspiration, your weight issues sound like mine. It took years for me

to do anything about it. I had a hard beginning but am happy with my decision. I also wish you well in your journey. The surgery is only the start.

What comes after is for the rest of our lives! I think men and women can benefit from the good advice iv'e found here.

Maggie0210

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

So you're not leaving?

[Elode 8,093]

@@VSGAnn2014 He never did.

[Stevehud 1,790]

NOT PLAYING YOUR GAMES ANYMORE , . THERE ARE PEOPLE HERE WHO I CARE ABOUT, SO PUT ME ON BLOCK OR WHATEVER, GET OVER IT OR IGNORE IT I DONT CARE.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

NOT PLAYING YOUR GAMES ANYMORE , . THERE ARE PEOPLE HERE WHO I CARE ABOUT, SO PUT ME ON BLOCK OR WHATEVER, GET OVER IT OR IGNORE IT I DONT CARE.

Who are you speaking to? Have you considered blocking those who bother you so much? Maybe ignoring them? I think it would do you well.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

So you're staying.

Thanks.

[FitnFabfor2014 358]

Good luck to you Steve and stay strong! To many good things in the world. Don't get sucked into negativity wherever it may be.

Its probably a good idea if you don't want to deal with some people on this forum......block them. Your starting a new journey in your life.

Time for everyone to move on.

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

This is an emotional journey.... I have followed this drama and here is what I think.... hurtful things (not necessarily wrong, but hurtful) have been said on all sides. The OP does have a way of attracting those remarks, but he clearly does desire the support here. As others have said, all are welcome here. I personally have a great deal of tolerance for recognizing the ups and downs (emotional) of this journey. I am not tolerant of being called names.

I don't appreciate a blanket statement about a bunch of haters on this site since I try to put time and effort into supporting people, answering newbie questions in forums and PMs etc. I think the OP "gets" that was inflammatory on top of other posts that certainly ticked people off.

I gently suggest and request everyone to stand down. All points have been made, more than once. Of course, everyone can do what they want, but one of my life lessons is that sometimes it is better to be kind and considerate over being "right".

Blocking and ignoring do seem to work. Wonder how many people ignore me? HA!! I don't think I am blocking anyone... 3 years and managed to stay out out of that business.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,722]

the only person (i try to judge) is the person who looks at me in the mirror..

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

problem with people

@@Stevehud

new day

fresh start

clean slate

Welcome Welcome to the VSG board

we're all nice people, really, - give us a chance

vice versa too

look, learn and listen (mom always told me that )

ask your questions

you'll get good answers from everyone (especially me )

as you know'

we're all different

life would be boring if that weren't the case

as OP have said we all have the right to our opinions

heated debates are good too

but no more yelling from anyone any more ok?

i've resorted to holding my hands over my ears!!

now my hands hurt

we won't/don't bite

keep up the good work

wonderful weight loss

don't know what it is, but i'm sure its good

I know you will

good luck

kathy

congrats

Edited January 14, 2015 by proudgrammy