Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

When are we actually able to call ourselves thin?



Recommended Posts

Check this article out:

https://www.yahoo.com/style/10-reasons-2014-was-major-for-plus-size-105447540238.html

Seriously, it's no wonder we are all on BP and in our daily lives with the inability to determine a good weight for ourselves, or determine if we meet society's weight standards, or even decide if we look good. While I thought it was a great article that and it's about time there is more options for plus size clothing than ever before, I was struck by the fact that CK is passing off a thin, size 10 girl as and "inbetweener" or plus size. Absurd!

When this is in the media and it's what we have to compare ourselves to, it adds the already prevalent body issues obese women have. It's easy to say "don't compare yourself to that", and even though the most concrete and logical thinker knows that, it still sends the message that pervades society about women should look like. And labeling healthy, thin people as "inbetween" or "plus size" when in fact they are thin infuriates me. I've fought hard to get to what I think is a normal size, and maintain a healthy weight, and if I took this sort of thing at face value, I'd be certifiable. Good thing I'm almost in a size 8 and a small/medium; maybe I can avoid keeping the label I've had all my life - fat.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Discuss.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OK, I get that I'm a guy so my contribution to this subject may be moot. I'm down 98 pounds, and 13 from goal. Do I consider myself thin? No. But I don't think of myself as fat anymore either. My goal is a target that puts me exactly one pound into the "Normal" BMI range. So is "normal" the same thing as "thin"? Ouch! That's a rough equation! But for my peace of mind, I want to get out of the "Overweight" BMI category. While that may be my weight-loss goal, I've actually been seeing a normal-weight person in the mirror for the last 25 pounds or so. I remember telling my wife, "I don't feel like a fat guy anymore," a couple of months ago. And it's true! I suspect that we all have different definitions of "normal", depending on how far our journey has taken us, our self-image (old and new), and even the perceptions of those around us. So what does "thin" mean? Or "slender"? Or even "skinny"? Everybody's definition is likely to be different. But if we equate those terms with the BMI charts, (and I recognize that many/most don't believe in them), I'm going to put "thin" and "skinny" in the "Underweight" category. And I will choose the word "slender" to define the "Normal" BMI range. In fact, this topic has made me re-think my tag-line and change the word "thin" to "slender". Lookout, Slender, here I come!!!

Edited by Rogofulm

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you listen to the media, you will never call yourself "thin". It's in the best interest of weight loss gurus, fitness trainers, clothing designers, and news providers to keep us on a constant Quest to be what they consider thin. And if you reach their standard of thin, they switch it up on us and now say things like, "size 0 is the new size 2" and pull out some photo shopped pics of an impossibly thin/perfect model.

I just try to be happy being my version of "normal". And on the occasion I do let myself get caught up in the marketing hype of being what they consider "thin", I have to pull out my inner pimp and pimp slam myself back into reality! :P

I remind myself that NORMAL people don't look like the models in the ads. And the models/actors have to resort to extreme measures (starving themselves, extreme workouts, drugs, and a team of nutritionists and trainers) to stay perfect and even then, they have to touch up their photos.

Keep Pimpin' That Sleeve!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know that I am not skinny (my BMI is near the top of the normal range) and probably never will be skinny, but people who are used to seeing the fat me keep calling me skinny. They don't apply that term to themselves at their normal weights. It makes me uncomfortable.

Thanks for posting the article. I think the glass is half full. The fashion industry and the media continue to present underweight women as the standard of beauty, but now mid range and plus sized women are being included in glamorous ads and movies. This is progress.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Keep Pimpin' That Sleeve!

Pimp my sleeve! Love it!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't look at a number on a scale or a size to determine what is "thin" or "normal". I had originally set a goal weight of 200 pounds but my body stopped at 220. That to me is fine. Thankfully, my surgeon's office never set a goal weight in stone for me.

I don't look at models or actresses to set a standard for me. They make their living solely on the basis of their appearance. I make my living with my brain and my hands. EVERYONE will grow older. You cannot stop time. I think I'm of an age where I just don't care as much about what other people think. I don't walk around looking slovenly or badly, I just think my worth is more about what is on my inside than what is on my outside.

Many people who knew me as a morbidly obese person now call me "skinny". I think it is just that I was SO LARGE before that the difference is so obvious. I'm not skinny by any means. However, I'm much healthier now than I was at 338 pounds. That is what matters.

To use a phrase that is so overused: It is what it is.

Blessings,

Kathleen

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@IcanMakeit Looking at your stats, I think you are skinny. I would call myself skinny at that weight.

@Rogofulm Boys are allowed to have opinions too. I always enjoy reading your posts.

I had read that article and didn't think much of it until you posted this. Definitely good discussion that I enjoyed. I went into a department store the other day and happened across a pair of 00 jeans and we joked that they might be tight on my friend's 9 year old daughter and we were not in the kids section. It's crazy!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As long as food companies are making billions of dollars from additives and their slogans of how food is the ultimate pleasure in life. As long as diet companies are making billions of dollars off of dieters. As long as the government allows these additives like MSG ( taste enhancers ). As long as the cat walk has bulimic models. As long as we have parents teaching their children that it is okay to bully and make fun of those who are different. As long as the medical field blames every illness on weight. ( like no one skinny ever gets sick or dies ) As long as we do not except ourselves for being who we are inside and out ( with the option of self improvement ) Nothing is ever going to really change.

My great grandmother ran a lodging house for ranch hands. she would get up at 4 a.m and start cooking. She was almost 400 lbs. And no body noticed her size all they saw was this amazing woman who could cook and put a meal on the table like no other in their lives. She was loved by all and when she died she was 90 lbs. soak and wet.

There were not the influences like there are today. Rarely did those people have to find themselves or make a statement to prove anything. They were who they were and probably better for it in most ways.

We are in a different world now and it shows. Thin is relative to our personal health and well being. not a number on a scale. For me....I will never be what others think I should be and try very hard not to let them dictate who they think I am or who I should be. My goal is to get better and health is my goal.

There is only a few people in my life that has stepped up to help me with anything to aid me anywhere so why should I let them now. Nope! Not happening! It is up to me to get a grip on what will make me healthy and improve my life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree, it's about what makes money. We see it every day. I will resist getting out the soap box, lol.

As far as "skinny" goes, I don't think I'll ever be in that category. I was 145 when I got married (long time ago) and I felt so fat. Now I'd be happy there.

I had an appt. with my primary this week. He's of course very happy with my weight loss. He asked how much more do you want to lose (like I should be done, lol). I told him my goal was 138. He was shocked...felt that was too low for me. I explained that it was smack in the middle of a normal BMI. I can't win!

Friends and colleagues sometimes call me "skinny". One recently asked if I had some rolls of quarters in my pockets so I don't blow away. I know he meant well..but really. It's true that not only is this a big change for us, but folks really are used to us being so big, that not-as-big = skinny.

I don't want to be chasing a number on the scale. I want to feel good and be healthy. Ignore society.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I DON'T WANT to be skinny. I just want to be normal-sized. And healthy.

I look forward to the months and years when the goals I set for my body have nothing to do with how much I weight, but muscle mass, flexibility, strength, endurance, speed and absence of pain / discomfort.

There's a lot more to my journey than BMI charts or the scale.

P.S. And, of course, I want to look wonderful in wonderful clothes. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That was interesting...and all the comments are fascinating...

but the bottom line is we get as "thin" as we want for ourselves...anything we lose after we hit our top weight makes us feel thin!

If you start at over 350 pounds you are definately going to feel thin and healthy at 200...even tho you want to go lower ;)

but the media plays with our heads...I think most of us realize, at this juncture what we really need to do to take care of ourselves~!!!

Edited by BigGirlPanties

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

^^^ But what happens when we lose to 200 or 160 or 130 ... and we regain 10 pounds? Do we still feel "thin"?

Having already done this more times in my life than I can remember or count, I would opine that no, we (at least I) do not feel so thin 10 pounds above a weight I recently rejoiced being at. And that not-feeling-thin sensation is accompanied by some other negatives--feelings of failure, frustration, helplessness, embarrassment, guilt, fear ... shall I go on?

Just spitballing here ... but I seriously think it would be therapeutic for me, after I reach my goal weight, to proactively gain 10 pounds--and then confront all those old, familiar, negative emotions, then learn how to lose those 10 pounds again. After all, practice makes perfect.

Because, ladies and germs, that's what we'll have to do as normal-sized people -- tolerate gaining 5-10 pounds on vacation, during the holidays, due to job or family stress or perhaps our own illness, but not throw in the towel and gain 40 pounds because "we feel so bad", but just lose those 5-10 pounds again. Over and over.

No pun intended, but this is sort of heavy. :)

Edited by VSGAnn2014

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

^^^ But what happens when we lose to 200 or 160 or 130 ... and we regain 10 pounds? Do we still feel "thin"?

Having already done this more times in my life than I can remember or count, I would opine that no, we (at least I) do not feel so thin 10 pounds above a weight I recently rejoiced being at. And that not-feeling-thin sensation is accompanied by some other negatives--feelings of failure, frustration, helplessness, embarrassment, guilt, fear ... shall I go on?

Just spitballing here ... but I seriously think it would be therapeutic for me, after I reach my goal weight, to proactively gain 10 pounds--and then confront all those old, familiar, negative emotions, then learn how to lose those 10 pounds again. After all, practice makes perfect.

Because, ladies and germs, that's what we'll have to do as normal-sized people -- tolerate gaining 5-10 pounds on vacation, during the holidays, due to job or family stress or perhaps our own illness, but not throw in the towel and gain 40 pounds because "we feel so bad", but just lose those 5-10 pounds again. Over and over.

No pun intended, but this is sort of heavy. :)

Interesting way of thinking. But the flux will happen whether you want it to or not. It is the body's way of dealing with excess calories. Metabolism dictates how the calories are burned so if we are unlucky to have a metabolism that does not work like a freight train spiraling out of control. We will fluctuate in weight. Up and down. but it is up to us to keep it under control. that 10 lb goal to settle the fear of gaining it all back in the future.

But our minds will continue to play tricks on us for the rest of our lives. There will always be a voice in our heads that tell us we will fail. And that even 10 lbs will be too much. I am trying so hard to come to terms with my 6 lbs I have gained back. I know it is because my muscles are starting to form again and that is adding weight. I think I look better with muscle definition again...lol.

My sister called me yesterday. She feels that she will not lose the weight. She is just over a week out. This is and will always be our monkey on our backs. We will always worry about weight gain. And in a sense we should. But not to the point where it dominates our lives. That is the panic that envelopes many who travel this path.

Skinny is a state of mind. Healthy is the the goal. Active in our lives and a new outlook on life. They are so important.....

And looking amazing in a little black dress.....:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×