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I'm broken....I just want to get fixed! My best friend doesn't understand



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I just had my 5th of 6 dr supervised diet visits. I lost 2.2 lbs. I'm a month away from getting submitted for insurance approval! I've lost 15lbs in the last 5 months.

My best friend yesturday begged me to rethink the surgery. She is worried about complications. She is worried I will suffer from malnutrition the rest of my life. But to lose the 15 lbs I have used every diet trick know to man (Water pills, laxatives, MIC injections). My dr prescribed MIC injections at my first surprised diet visit to help me lose the 5 lbs my surgeon required before my first surgeon visit 3 months later. At first they made me so nauseous I couldn't function, not to mention eat. I lost 7 lbs that week. Since then I have used the MIC injections a couple days before my dr visit to lose a couple ls before my weigh ins. When I stop taking them I gain the weight back. My friend wants me to try taking them as my dr prescribed daily for a month. And see how much I lose. She is wishing for a mircle.

I'm broken.....I just want to get fix! I want to be a normal...why can't she see I'm tired I fighting a losing battle!

I have used Water pills so much now my Vitamin K is low. Possibly delaying my surgery until my level comes up. If I stop taking, then I gain. Even with using all the dieting tricks I'm still 227lbs.

I promised her I would give the MIC injections a honest 1 month try ( taking daily as my dr wants). She is thinking I will lose enough that I can continue with injections & not have to risk having WLS. My worst fear is that I will lose enough that I will no longer qualify for surgery, but I will still be obese. Fat & unhappy that I didn't go threw with the surgery.

I have jumped threw every hoop my surgereon & insurance require. I haven't looked back or second guessed my choice to have WLS. She saw me recently & kept going on & on about how good I looked. She said I have a glow! I told her I just had my 5th supervised diet visit. I thinks it's more that I feel really good I'm almost done with my 6 month diet. My "glow" is that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Oh & I got my hair cut :-)

My "glow" is soon I will no longer be broken... My "glow" is the confidence that I'm about to be fixed...I'm hopeful to enter the land of the normal...

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Your friend has her own fears and issues. You have yours.

I would think that in making this decision, your fears and concerns are about a thousand times more relevant than hers are.

Good luck!

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Every time I think about our conversation it makes me cry.

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Your friend has her own fears and issues. You have yours.

I would think that in making this decision, your fears and concerns are about a thousand times more relevant than hers are.

Good luck!

Your right! Our conversation has shaken me to my core. My husband doesn't want me to have the surgery either. We have stopped talking about it, he knows I need to do this for me. I truly feel they don't think I need to have the surgery because they a blinded because they love me, they believe I not need the surgery. That I'm not that heavy.

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I have 110 more pounds on me than you do, and 7 years (and 110 pounds) ago I said I needed to lose some weight. Now I'm miserable and have multiple health problems. Fixing the weight issue NOW is a good plan. I'm so sorry you're not being supported. You have made a decision for yourself - and I think that is brave. I don't know you, but I'm so proud of your decision. I am on track to have sleeve surgery in late March/early April. Yes - it IS a lifetime commitment - but we are SO worth it. You're giving yourself and your husband several extra years of a good quality of life.

Take a breath. Take a step back and evaluate how awesome it is that you're doing something for yourself.

And smile.

-Melissa

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Is your friend a medical professional? More importantly, is she YOUR medical professional who specializes in medical weight loss? No? Then she needs to step back and practice being a supportive friend rather than trying to give you medical advice. The next time she tries to interfere between you and your doctors, take a deep breath and tell her something like this:
"I'm so grateful that you are concerned for my health. I've discussed this decision with my doctors and we have concluded that this surgery offers me my best and safest chance to live a long and healthy life. While I am very touched by your concern for me, I need strength and support going forward. I want to ask you to be supportive of the medical decision I have reached with my doctors, and if you can't be supportive, at least don't say anything to make me fearful or make me feel bad about my choice."
Keep repeating as necessary. Good luck!

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I'm not familiar with MIC injections, but my understanding is that they've got risks as well - especially taken daily. And I also don't know if there's any lasting impact of that once you stop the shots.

I'm totally with you in terms of your perspective. At the point in my life when I had this surgery it was clear that my body was determined to maintain a high weight. I had a friend who tried to talk me out of surgery - saying that she had faith that I could do it on my own. I said that I also believed that I could do it on my own - but only if working on my weight was the ONLY responsibility I had (meaning I quit my job and magically relinquish all other life stresses, which is of course not a possibility). I knew that I would need every ounce of mental and physical energy to fight my body and force myself to eat less than my body was begging for and exercise despite feeling underfed.

Yes - there are risks of surgery. But longterm malnutrition is really not anything I'm aware of with the sleeve. Short term - perhaps, but if you're taking Vitamins and focusing on Protein you should be a-ok.

Trust yourself. This is not a crazy weight loss scheme - it's a medical procedure that has proven to be very effective. And I'm SO very happy that I did it! I really do feel like I fixed a physical problem and I feel more normal now Such a relief!

Edited by thesuse2000

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I have 110 more pounds on me than you do, and 7 years (and 110 pounds) ago I said I needed to lose some weight. Now I'm miserable and have multiple health problems. Fixing the weight issue NOW is a good plan. I'm so sorry you're not being supported. You have made a decision for yourself - and I think that is brave. I don't know you, but I'm so proud of your decision. I am on track to have sleeve surgery in late March/early April. Yes - it IS a lifetime commitment - but we are SO worth it. You're giving yourself and your husband several extra years of a good quality of life.

Take a breath. Take a step back and evaluate how awesome it is that you're doing something for yourself.

And smile.

-Melissa

Ok I'm taking a breath. Thanks. I'm not sure why I posted. I really appreciate your support :-)

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Don't say another word to her about it, and then go do what you want. By the way, does Miss Friend have weight issues herself and will be left in the dust if you get healthy? Or is she an itty bitty thing who never ever had a weight problem? Either way, it sounds like she doesn't get you. Your need to be healthy is more important than her need to have such a strong influence on your decisions. Go get healthy and happy, dear.

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Your friend means well but wls will help you avoid the complications of being overweight which put way the surgical risk. Do what's best for your body. Not sine one else's worries.

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She is a itty bitty thing that's never been more than 30 lbs overweight. I know she means well. She is my BFF, my sister from another mother. She is the crazy impulsive one & I'm the voice of reason. I had the same talk with her when I took her to get her tt, boobs done & body Lipo. Once she reassured me she was confident she was sure it was this is what she wants to do, I'm the one that drove her. Last year when she started freaking out before her boob job. I told her I would drive in direction of hospital. She could either get her boobs done or we could go have lunch & go shopping. I almost feel like she' s trying to be me & play devils advocate. In her mind be the voice of reason for me this time. This isn't a rash decision I've thought about this for a long time. Honestly, if this s how she really feels then I wouldn't expect anything less. Our friendship has away been based on total honest. I guess my reaction is what surprised me. I feel really shaken to the core. I guess I need to get my head right, so to speak. And keep moving forward.

Edited by Flygirl123

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I'm going to tell you EXACTLY, WORD FOR WORD what my primary physician told me when I told him I was thinking of having WLS. He said "Congratulations -- you have just made a decision to save your own life and give yourself better quality of life. You are more at risk of death and so many other complications from obesity than the weight loss surgery"! So there you have it. Read and check statistics and more importantly, follow your heart. Not your friends, not your husbands, not your mothers.... YOURS, it's YOUR decision!

In MY case, getting WLS 7 months ago TODAY was the BEST decision I have ever made in my life! I am 53 years old in 1 week from today and feel like I'm 25. I'm down 70 lbs and feel amazing, healthy and my ONLY regret is not having it done yearsss ago. Good luck, speak to doctors, read about WLS and follow your heart. God Bless!

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Amen Miss Mac!!!

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I'm not familiar with MIC injections, but my understanding is that they've got risks as well - especially taken daily. And I also don't know if there's any lasting impact of that once you stop the shots.

I'm totally with you in terms of your perspective. At the point in my life when I had this surgery it was clear that my body was determined to maintain a high weight. I had a friend who tried to talk me out of surgery - saying that she had faith that I could do it on my own. I said that I also believed that I could do it on my own - but only if working on my weight was the ONLY responsibility I had (meaning I quit my job and magically relinquish all other life stresses, which is of course not a possibility). I knew that I would need every ounce of mental and physical energy to fight my body and force myself to eat less than my body was begging for and exercise despite feeling underfed.

Yes - there are risks of surgery. But longterm malnutrition is really not anything I'm aware of with the sleeve. Short term - perhaps, but if you're taking Vitamins and focusing on Protein you should be a-ok.

Trust yourself. This is not a crazy weight loss scheme - it's a medical procedure that has proven to be very effective. And I'm SO very happy that I did it! I really do feel like I fixed a physical problem and I feel more normal now Such a relief!

I think it has a form of Vitamin B. It has something that is supposed to help flush the fat out the liver. They make it at a compound pharmacy. Your right I'm sure it has side effects too. As soon as I stop taking the weight comes back, so I'm sure it's mostly Water weight I'm loosing.

You completely took the words out of my mouth! My body really wants to hold on to this fat. I don't eat massive amounts of food. I'm gluten free. I lead an active lifestyle. Yet still I'm fat!

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I'm going to tell you EXACTLY, WORD FOR WORD what my primary physician told me when I told him I was thinking of having WLS. He said "Congratulations -- you have just made a decision to save your own life and give yourself better quality of life. You are more at risk of death and so many other complications from obesity than the weight loss surgery"! So there you have it. Read and check statistics and more importantly, follow your heart. Not your friends, not your husbands, not your mothers.... YOURS, it's YOUR decision!

In MY case, getting WLS 7 months ago TODAY was the BEST decision I have ever made in my life! I am 53 years old in 1 week from today and feel like I'm 25. I'm down 70 lbs and feel amazing, healthy and my ONLY regret is not having it done yearsss ago. Good luck, speak to doctors, read about WLS and follow your heart. God Bless!

Thank you for the much need reminder! I truly feel this surgery will greatly improve my life! Ok I'm moving full speed ahead :-)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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