What to do?

[clautxs 40]

Hello my friends.. I have a question. My mother came to help me after surgery im 9 days post op she is old school she doent let me do anything I know my dr told me i cant drive or cook in the first week but i want so badly go out of the house im tired and bored of been stuck in here.. she doesnt let me go outside or even worse going to a store or something like that am I wrong? Please i need some advise..

[bobbyswife 862]

She won't "let you"? Is she holding you hostage? You are a grown woman, and you can make your own choices. One of my favorite quotes from the book Eat, Pray, Love is "Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be". I think it applies in this situation. Mommy's love us, but you are allowed to stand up for yourself. Just tell her nicely that you appreciate her concern and help, but you are going to get out for a while.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Stock up the fridge and send mommy home. You may not be cleared to drive but you can go out for a walk and you should be able to get around your house by yourself. I am single and live alone. I was bored silly after 1 week. Taking a daily walk outside was the highlight of my day. It was easy. If you aren't experiencing any pain or complications you'll be fine.

[Cody's mom 247]

I went shopping in Tijuana two days after surgery, and again three days after surgery. When I got home from Tijuana (four days after surgery), I did my laundry and went grocery shopping, the next day I worked my horses, cleaned my truck and loaded it to leave for work I also did all the dished and vaccumed so I didn;t ocme home after 16 days in the bush to a messy house. I also drove nine hours to work a week after surgery and continued on with my normal life. You didn't have a heart or liver transplant. Get out of the house, go for a walk, go grocery shopping.

Edited November 16, 2014 by Cody's mom

[clautxs 40]

She gets mad so quick I try to explain this that some people return to work after 5 days and she star telling me do whatever you want im leaving ohh is so frustrating.. thank you

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I went shopping in Tijuana two days after surgery, and again three days after surgery. When I got home from Tijuana (four days after surgery), I did my laundry and went grocery shopping, the next day I worked my horses, cleaned my truck and loaded it to leave for work I also did all the dished and vaccumed so I didn;t ocme home after 16 days in the bush to a messy house. I also drove nine hours to work a week after surgery and continued on with my normal life. You didn't have a heart or liver transplant. Get out of the house, go for a walk, go grocery shopping.

LOL you remind me of the nurse I had in the hospital. He told me I was his easiest patient because some WLS patient's come in "acting like they just had open heart surgery."

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

She gets mad so quick I try to explain this that some people return to work after 5 days and she star telling me do whatever you want im leaving ohh is so frustrating.. thank you

It's okay for her to be mad. Send her home with a kiss and a "thank you". You'll be fine.

[Nicolanz 1,484]

It's so important for healing to get up and move! Tell your mom she's slowing the healing process by holding you hostage! Lol.

[Cody's mom 247]

@@clautxs, I agree, tell her thank you and good bye. You are an adult (I'm thinking). Even after open heart surgery they get you up and moving as soon as possible. If you can't win this battle, how will you win the battle against food, and fight against going back to where you came from. Time to stand up for yourself I think, you're going to have to do it when people try to convince you to eat or eat more.. No better time than now! Good luck!

[Miss Mac 6,262]

Nicolanz, great angle.

Clautxs, hmmmmmmm 9-7=2. Mommy can go home now. You are already two days past your doctor's clearance, and doctor trumps mother in this card game. Tell her you love her and appreciate her help and will call her in a couple of days to let her know how you are doing.

[teb 5]

I was so tired the first two weeks I could not do anything. My doctor said no driving for 2 weeks either. I was home, did few things, cooked some Soup but I was tired and wanted to lay down most of the time. I started getting a bit of energy after like 3 weeks, but still needed to rest for an hour or so every afternoon.

It does get better. Tell your mom you are ok and send her back home!!!!

[IcanMakeit 1,319]

I understand how mothers can guilt you into complying even with their unreasonable strictures. But this time, you need to let her know that her advice is contrary to your surgeon's and that you are going to follow your surgeon's advice and go out walking every day. Once she sees that you are fine with walking, she will probably ease up. (I assume your surgeon gave the standard advice.)

i don't blame you for not wanting to hurt her feelings, but you have to do what you know is best.

Edited November 16, 2014 by IcanMakeit

[Elode 8,093]

Send her to my house I have lots of things she can do!!!! I want to just lay around! Dang!

[Cody's mom 247]

@@Elode, that's funny!

[clautxs 40]

Thanks everyone..