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Have barely begun and im already getting sabotaged..



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I still live with my family and I told them to quit with the junk food and to please support me through all of this....so what do they do???? They get brownies and Mexican food and bake little cake things and cook bacon ????

How would you handle the BS?

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It's tough, but something you are just going to have to deal with. Those of us who have issues with food have it harder than some other addictions. When you are an alcoholic or addicted to some other drug and in "recovery", you are encouraged to steer clear of any "bad influences" you associate with so you aren't tempted to use. With food, people still have to eat. You can't force others to adhear to the strict regimen that those of us going through this process have to do. I'm 2 and a half months out, and there have been many, many times I watch my friends and family eat and drink things I cannot. Instead of feeling "sabotaged", I feel empowered knowing I'm doing what I need to do right now to get healthy. Once you start looking at it that way, it becomes second nature to be around others who are partaking in things we know we shouldn't.

Edited by Babbs

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But they can make healthier choices and not do brownies Mexican food and cake all at once. And why so soon after I tell them Iwant support?

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Yuck. I get it...I so get it. I'm dealing with people in my life who also aren't interested in eating healthier and it is tough, but I don't have to live with them like you do. I brought up a topic a few days ago about dealing with fat friends and I got some great responses and some valid points that really made me think. I don't just want to not be fat; I want to be healthy and in control of my emotions.

I'm about 2.5 weeks post op and someone made me really mad the other day and I was ready to eat! I see a commercial for some good food that would destroy my new tummy and I want to eat! I smell Chinese food while walking through a parking lot... and I want to eat! I guess my point is, that I stopped eating to satiate hunger a long time ago and most of my eating revolved around emotions, boredom and social events; I didn't need to be hungry and I sure didn't need someone to tempt me.

I agree with @Babbs. I feel strong and empowered by my decision to have WLS. Each time I use my sleeve for the tool that it is, I'm taking another step away from that old destructive behavior and toward a life that I truly want

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Because this is your journey, not theirs. I live with a 16 yr old teenager boy. There is EVERY KIND OF JUNK food IN MY HOUSE! I also cook him whatever he wants. He is an athlete, and an extremely healthy, again, teenager. Doesn't bother me in the least. I watch him grate cheddar cheese, and make chicken machos and that's cool with me. Even during my two week pre op I continued to cook his meals. So, know that the world, including your family, will not

change their eating habits and patterns because you

decided to get healthy. Just stay focused on your plan.

Food will ALWAYS be around, good, bad, healthy,

unhealthy. Decide now how you plan to handle that.

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@Mel13..... I guess the question is can YOU not do Mexican, cake and all the rest of it? Would it make a difference if it was pizza or chicken wings and pie?

I do better in relationships when I ask for what I need. If you just asked for support and did not clearly articulate what that means to you prevailed you should really figure out what you need from your family and try again with clear cut requests. If you've asked clearly that everyone else in the house do a complete lifestyle change with you or not bring junk into the house, it sounds like you got your answer.

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@@Mel13 Go to Your room! Seriously take yourself away from them when they are eating! That what I had to do with my family. My husband and kids are not overweight in fact my husband is a mailman so he walks all day. They are extremely supportive but I can't expect them to change their whole lives because I chose to cram junk in my mouth For years. With that being said it's not easy at times it down right sucks and I have been known to throw their junk foods way back in the cabinets or anywhere else I Could hide them out of sight. They got the hint after getting tired of looking for stuff all the time. They know I don't expect them to change the way they eat but I do expect them to have the decency not to have it strung out where it's a constant reminder. You will have to come up with some coping skills to help you get by. Good luck!

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@@Elode I'm sorry, I just got coffee all over my work computer screen from that first line! LOL

@@Mel13 - I could not get you more right now...... I currently live with 3 people that only eat once a day and it's normally chips, yogurt raisins, or fried chicken. One of them is my fiance and I will be moving with him in a few days to our own place - only for him to complain that he wants bread with his eggs and why can't he just have his bag of chips. I go to my parents' house 5x a week for my daughter to eat spaghetti with ALOT of grated cheese, and my dad to order pizza when he doesn't want to cook, and my mom offer me chicken nuggets instead cause she "knows I'm off bread". I could not understand the difficulty any more at this point lol. But as I keep getting told by every one of them - they want to support me...... but they already put their foot down with changing everything for me. Which is fine - it's more self control needed on my part.

You've got this! Just ignore them lol

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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