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Big old bundle of nerves! Any advice?



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My surgery is this coming Monday and though I have had more surgeries in my life than I can count, I am finding myself ridiculously nervous about this one! I really can't pinpoint why. I think I am prepared for the post-op diet changes okay. I tolerate pain pretty well and know that it will only be for a day or two, so that part doesn't really bother me. I am excited about all the things I will be able to do again once I lose the weight. I have good support and I have complete faith in my surgeon and his program. So why the heck am I shaking in my boots?? I am really struggling to fight off a full-blown panic attack.

I had my last preop appt yesterday and it was very informative. Nothing alarming there. I guess this is the first "elective" surgery I have done and all the rest were to fix something that wasn't working right at all, but this surgery will actually make something that is working perfectly fine (my whole digestive system) and make it not function the same ever again. I guess I am terrified that something will go horribly wrong with that - not necessarily during the surgery, but at some point later. It's a fear of messing with something that "ain't broke" maybe. I think I am worried I will end up never being able to eat ANYTHING ever again and that I will slowly waste away and die of malnutrition. I know that sounds nuts, but how do you deal with that fear?

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I felt the very same way- the last couple of days before surgery I actually started wondering if it really WAS necessary & it can get overwhelming. Hopefully, if you have a surgeon/team like I do, they really are there all the time to answer your questions- plus the internet and this forum are great sources of encouragement.

It's not possible for you to starve and waste away to nothing. Once your body becomes accustomed to how much food you can eat, your metabolism will adjust and the weight loss will stop. As far as "never being able to eat anything again", that won't happen either. :) Your surgeon will guide you carefully as to what kinds of foods you can eat when and most importantly- don't judge your progress of anything against anyone else's! Everyone's experience is unique, as is their weight loss and rate of healing. I keep telling myself that this surgery is a tool- what I get out of it will mirror what I put into it. Once I got out of the fog of anesthesia I never looked back & am anxious to start this new chapter of my life.

Gastric surgery has made leaps and bounds in its procedure and safety over the years- the complication/mortality rates are incredibly low; please don't let that grip your psyche. I thought about it too, but decided that my mortality rate being diabetic and morbidly obese is/was greater than the possibility of complications from this surgery. Keep us updated on how you're doing :)

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I hit my 1 year "surgery anniversary" in 2 weeks and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It got me off diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol, reflux, Migraine and arthritis medicine. I only wish I had done it sooner. I am now 70. I am 5 lbs from my goal weight, but I don't think I will stay there. My PCP actually wanted me at 160. I eat what I want, only it is healthy food now. I still stay away from bread, Pasta, and rice. That is my choice. I don't ever want to go back to the person I was before. I have to confess, after many months I got my candy tooth back. So I allow sugar free sweets in once in a while. I now love fish, especially salmon. I can eat what I want, when I want, just smaller quantities, and it is all healthy. You can do this with the right mindset. Think of the medical conditions you will never have by having this procedure.

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Thanks ladies! I really should be focusing more on all the reasons I am having this surgery and all the benefits I will get from it, some very soon! The stories of complications are terrifying, but I know you are right, statistically they are rare. However the complications from me NOT having the surgery are already here and more will be coming with near certainty.

I need to find some fun distractions for the next few days.

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You're feeling exactly what I'm sure everyone else feels going into the surgery - me included. I was so scared the morning of my surgery. It is a scary decision, but a brave one that you're making for a healthier future. Best wishes!

Edited by TinaC

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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