Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I feel like a failure



Recommended Posts

Hi all. I haven't posted here in a while. I'm sure 17 months out and 120lbs down. I was about 28lbs from goal and then I'm not sure what happened. I feel like I've just stopped caring. I've actually GAINED almost 20lbs. I hate myself and I feel like I've failed. I know I've come actually long way, but I can't help but feel like actually complete failure. How can I kick these carb cravings?

post-170790-14146248890385_thumb.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do you have your doctors schedule for how to eat? What to eat first? Do you exercise? I would start there. There is also a 5:2 pouch test that you can try online. Some have gotten good out of that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes I have all of that. I mentally know what I'm supposed to do, I just dont. I always start the day well, then it goes to crap.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok well you have the first hurdle down and that is information. Since no one can ever tell what doctors leave with their patients, I always find it good to ask.

What do you feel is stopping you? Is it the honeymoon is gone? Life is busy? Do you feel that you are tired of being restricted in terms of diet? Do you need a change in exercise? In the doldrums?

I ask a lot of questions because I'm not here to blame. I'm here to help explore what possibilities the issue might be and to encourage you from there. I got enough bad vibes from my surgeon. I won't do that to another.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Can you reframe eating better ad a present to yourself? For Christmas, I am giving myself the gift of losing x.

Get the crap out of the house. Stock up on healthy treats. Write a plan of what to eat the following day before you go to sleep. When you lay down to go to sleep, think over that plan and tell yourself you will choose to be healthy by eating on plan tomorrow.

You can't hate yourself thin. Listen to your self talk and tell yourself what you would tell your dearest friend if they were in the same boat.

Lynda

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The only way you will stop craving carbs is to stop eating carbs.

That's not circular ... it's cause/effect. Eating carbs makes you crave carbs.

You've got to go cold turkey. Detox yourself of sugar.

Do that, and you'll likely lose 10 pounds pretty quick.

And while doing that, also go back to the basic behaviors that helped you lose 120 pounds.

You can fix this. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My opinion the self loathing feeling needs to be addressed. I also agree about the carb craving Cycle. ..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with self talk. It was the first thing I noticed about your post. I know you posted looking for support to get back on track, and talking about mental health isn't exactly what you wanted. You don't eat right if your head isn't right.

Failure at all kinds of things is very normal. Falling back on bad habits happens to most everyone. I've had my period of eating poorly about 2.5yrs after surgery. I had to go cold turkey on the carbs and leave them behind. It worked well enough to help push me towards losing some additional weight. It helps me to eat better if I am adventurous with my food and try new ways to cook and spice my Protein and veggies. I tend to eat better on days that I exercise. Since you start strong and falter as the day goes by, consider adding a brief walk when you start having cravings. Drink a big glass of sugar free beverage prior to the walk. Being out of reach of good and satisfying any dehydration could help you be more successful when you feel tempted.

Please excuse any typos. I'm on my phone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you everyone. I wanted to seek therapy but no longer have insurance, that's why I reached out here. I've got to figure something out. It's out of control

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can understand that. Been there. Do you think you might want specific help? Like should we look for things on the internet for you in specific areas?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm a stay at home mom so I'm always home. I'm in and out of the fridge all day. Sad part is, I'm not even hungry! And I still have my restriction, but I often push past full. I feel the need go fad diet. I even bought pills! I don't want to do that again. I was down into a size 10. Now, they're tight. I'm so mad. Mentally, I know what to do. I just can't do it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Can you get out of the house?

Do you HAVE to be a stay-at-home mom?

Can you get a full-time job?

Can you volunteer?

Can you get into therapy?

Can you lock the refrigerator?

Can you stop buying food that tempts you?

...................

What's stopping you from doing what you know you need to do?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No I can't work full time. I have a son in kindergarten and a 2.5 year old. I have to be home for the baby, and be home to put my son on/off the bus. I try to get out during the day, but I'm also in college full time online so I try and squeeze that in during the day between housework and kids. I'd love to do therapy but we don't have insurance, and we can't afford it until after the holidays. The food that tempts me is food for my husband/kids. I'm not sure What's stopping me. Trying to figure it out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What are you putting in the fridge? Subbing Water or the like for Snacks is a good thing. What about playing a game or doing homework?

I buy stuff for the church breaks but otherwise my stuff is lean protein/meats, veggies. I try to keep all the other stuff out of the way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Overeaters anonymous has free support group meetings and so do some hospitals / bariatric surgeons. A group of ladies in my town get together one Sat each month (kids are welcome). Maybe if there isn't something in your area, you could start something to have support of like minded people. Call your aurgeon's office and offer to mentor someone. Helping others will help yourself by being a good example.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×