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I feel like a failure



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Hi all. I haven't posted here in a while. I'm sure 17 months out and 120lbs down. I was about 28lbs from goal and then I'm not sure what happened. I feel like I've just stopped caring. I've actually GAINED almost 20lbs. I hate myself and I feel like I've failed. I know I've come actually long way, but I can't help but feel like actually complete failure. How can I kick these carb cravings?

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Do you have your doctors schedule for how to eat? What to eat first? Do you exercise? I would start there. There is also a 5:2 pouch test that you can try online. Some have gotten good out of that.

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Yes I have all of that. I mentally know what I'm supposed to do, I just dont. I always start the day well, then it goes to crap.

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Ok well you have the first hurdle down and that is information. Since no one can ever tell what doctors leave with their patients, I always find it good to ask.

What do you feel is stopping you? Is it the honeymoon is gone? Life is busy? Do you feel that you are tired of being restricted in terms of diet? Do you need a change in exercise? In the doldrums?

I ask a lot of questions because I'm not here to blame. I'm here to help explore what possibilities the issue might be and to encourage you from there. I got enough bad vibes from my surgeon. I won't do that to another.

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Can you reframe eating better ad a present to yourself? For Christmas, I am giving myself the gift of losing x.

Get the crap out of the house. Stock up on healthy treats. Write a plan of what to eat the following day before you go to sleep. When you lay down to go to sleep, think over that plan and tell yourself you will choose to be healthy by eating on plan tomorrow.

You can't hate yourself thin. Listen to your self talk and tell yourself what you would tell your dearest friend if they were in the same boat.

Lynda

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The only way you will stop craving carbs is to stop eating carbs.

That's not circular ... it's cause/effect. Eating carbs makes you crave carbs.

You've got to go cold turkey. Detox yourself of sugar.

Do that, and you'll likely lose 10 pounds pretty quick.

And while doing that, also go back to the basic behaviors that helped you lose 120 pounds.

You can fix this. :)

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My opinion the self loathing feeling needs to be addressed. I also agree about the carb craving Cycle. ..

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I agree with self talk. It was the first thing I noticed about your post. I know you posted looking for support to get back on track, and talking about mental health isn't exactly what you wanted. You don't eat right if your head isn't right.

Failure at all kinds of things is very normal. Falling back on bad habits happens to most everyone. I've had my period of eating poorly about 2.5yrs after surgery. I had to go cold turkey on the carbs and leave them behind. It worked well enough to help push me towards losing some additional weight. It helps me to eat better if I am adventurous with my food and try new ways to cook and spice my Protein and veggies. I tend to eat better on days that I exercise. Since you start strong and falter as the day goes by, consider adding a brief walk when you start having cravings. Drink a big glass of sugar free beverage prior to the walk. Being out of reach of good and satisfying any dehydration could help you be more successful when you feel tempted.

Please excuse any typos. I'm on my phone.

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Thank you everyone. I wanted to seek therapy but no longer have insurance, that's why I reached out here. I've got to figure something out. It's out of control

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I can understand that. Been there. Do you think you might want specific help? Like should we look for things on the internet for you in specific areas?

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I'm a stay at home mom so I'm always home. I'm in and out of the fridge all day. Sad part is, I'm not even hungry! And I still have my restriction, but I often push past full. I feel the need go fad diet. I even bought pills! I don't want to do that again. I was down into a size 10. Now, they're tight. I'm so mad. Mentally, I know what to do. I just can't do it.

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Can you get out of the house?

Do you HAVE to be a stay-at-home mom?

Can you get a full-time job?

Can you volunteer?

Can you get into therapy?

Can you lock the refrigerator?

Can you stop buying food that tempts you?

...................

What's stopping you from doing what you know you need to do?

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No I can't work full time. I have a son in kindergarten and a 2.5 year old. I have to be home for the baby, and be home to put my son on/off the bus. I try to get out during the day, but I'm also in college full time online so I try and squeeze that in during the day between housework and kids. I'd love to do therapy but we don't have insurance, and we can't afford it until after the holidays. The food that tempts me is food for my husband/kids. I'm not sure What's stopping me. Trying to figure it out.

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What are you putting in the fridge? Subbing Water or the like for Snacks is a good thing. What about playing a game or doing homework?

I buy stuff for the church breaks but otherwise my stuff is lean protein/meats, veggies. I try to keep all the other stuff out of the way.

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Overeaters anonymous has free support group meetings and so do some hospitals / bariatric surgeons. A group of ladies in my town get together one Sat each month (kids are welcome). Maybe if there isn't something in your area, you could start something to have support of like minded people. Call your aurgeon's office and offer to mentor someone. Helping others will help yourself by being a good example.

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