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How does everyone set a "goal weight"? I've read (and surgeon's office confirms) that the average weight loss after RNY is 65-70% of excess weight- which means that a successful patient would still be 30-35% above their ideal body weight. Yet looking at profile listings, it looks like many, if not most, have set a goal weight that's much closer to ideal body weight - and it appears that many of those who are a year or more out have achieved their goal.

So..... Are the surgeons being conservative to discourage unrealistic expectations? Does losing the additional 30% require extreme efforts?

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I've not had surgery yet but my bet is that the success of this group is due to the fact that the ppl on here are getting extra support!! Which we all need. They are asking questions, starting connected, using resources, getting inspiration, going to follow up etc etc

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I have surpassed my doctors goal and now am only 22 pounds from a normal bmi. That is my goal. My biggest worry is to stop there. The weight has been just melting off and I worry I will keep losing past my normal bmi number. I haven't excercized at all. I figured I would when I stopped losing which never happened lol I'm still losing 10 pounds a month.

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I was wondering the same thing. My surgery is the 12 th of November. Scared but excited. I want to lose 105 lbs. but curious how long that will take me. Does there seem to be an "average" that people loose a month? And does your body know when to stop losing??.

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When I went to my psch evaluation the doctor there told me your body knows when it needs to stop loosing weight. That your not going to end up being way underweight is what he told me. He had it done 5 years ago

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With the utmost respect for those who have a different opinion, I'm not big on goal weights or time lines for weight loss. Both are too often frustrating at best and at worst, self-defeating.

I never set a goal weight and interestingly enough, neither my surgeon nor any member of her team ever suggested one. I went into the journey believing that my body would tell me when it was where it wanted to be - and that's exactly what happened. About fourteen months post-op my weight loss slowed to a crawl and I knew I had arrived at my destination.

Time lines for weight loss offer a similar dilemma. Even your surgical team can only make an educated guess. There are simply too many variables. So why try to guesstimate it? Why complicate it? For me, it was much better to go into the journey with the idea that it would take as long as it takes. I committed to following my plan, as closely to the letter as I possibly could, until my body told me that I had reached its goal.

I was three years post-op two days ago and my weight has been within a five pound window for almost two years. I had my three year follow-up with my surgeon yesterday. Lab results showed that the entire Vitamin profile, A1c, bp, liver, kidneys, cholesterol - all spot on. In her words, "You are one healthy dude." Lol - and then she totally unexpectedly gave me a hug!

Allow your body to find its own way in its own time. Trust the process. It is so much less stressful and so much more fun. Your body will tell you when it's where it wants to be and at that point - you're gonna love the new you!!

Edited by DLCoggin

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I told my surgeon that the number meant nothing to me. My reason for wanting the surgery was to be healthy, feel better and be able to do all the things I'm unable to do because of my weight.

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My surgeon has not set a weight goal. The only number we spoke of is what I can realistically expect to lose based on the 65-70% of excess weight. They factored my weight at surgery and the lowest weight for my height. That made me 118 pounds over weight. So I was told based on statistics, if I follow the instructions he gave me, I can expect to drop 82 pounds.

At 6.5 months out I am 8 pounds from there. I am wearing a size 12 jeans and honestly, I would be very happy to stay here. Do I still have fat? Yep. Do I care? Truthfully- I don't. I'm going to 49 in 6 weeks and I have no desire to be "skinny" nor do I care what the scale says. I will continue to weigh myself so I don't get fat again, but I will not focus on the numbers. I would also like to stop losing in hopes that my skin will have some time to adjust. The smaller I get the more skin I have to deal with. For me, that's my struggle. Not the scale.< /p>

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The psychologist asked me what I wanted out of this surgery and I told her my goal is to be healthy enough to compete in a kayak race one day. I do have a goal weight that is within my BMI, but I also know that I could be that weight and still be too weak to compete and paddle 18 hours a day. I agree with @@DLCoggin, I think our bodies will naturally know where we should be based on activity level and caloric intake.

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I decided I wanted to be in the range for "normal BMI" that helped me set my personal goal weight. My Dr. says my goal weight is 140, my goal weight for myself is 127 (my BMI will finally be in the normal range) and my psychologist says my goal weight should be like 115 for my height! Ahh that seems little, maybe I can get down to that, then I have heard about regain and then settle around 125. I'm only 5'0.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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