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Your response to: "but you aren't 'THAT' big!"



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At 265, I wasn't that big too. So I was open and honest about my reasons. I had all the "fat-guy diseases": diabetes, apnea, asthma, high cholesterol, borderline high blood pressure, arthritis, body aches, exhaustion, feeling like poop all the time, miserable in my own skin.... Need any more reasons? Now I'm 3+ months after surgery. I still have arthritis, which is not necessarily weight related. Everything else is gone! Any questions? :D Good luck with your journey!

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I just thought of another one I could use: My insurance company believes that my health status is a concern and a liability. I agree with them. They are willing to pay for surgical intervention. Again, I agree with them as other methods have proven unsuccessful....ha! That one might be for co-workers, tho.....if/when it comes up...

This has to be hands down one of the best "non believer stoppers" I've seen. I would add to that, that your doctors feel the same way. Ask them to produce medical experts in the field of bariatrics for that. Keep pressing that point. Can't argue with data.

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Maybe you could reply back " Its nice that you dont " see " that i

Im big enough for WLS, but what you can't "see" is the internal medical problems, problems A, B, and C, also my inherited medical problems X, Y, and Z from my parents. Im getting WLS to get going on a long life with a healthy body ! " Maybe that will explain enough to everyone ? Just a thought . Good luck !!

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I tell them that my dad and grandfather passed with the same health issues I have when they were 62... I am 41 and desire to have more than 20 years left. I want to see my grandchildren and great grandson.... Oh wait first I need to have my on and this weight is the problem....

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when I started this journey towards WLS, I was 207 my BMI was 40.1, mind you I'm only 4'11! I only told my four closet friends, they were extremely supportive. I knew not to tell certain people in my family. Some of them are so old fashioned, and I couldn't be bothered explaining to them that WLS isn't the same as plastic surgery. When I told my parents of course they were concerned but then I took them to one of my appointments, and that settled that. Of course my mother has a big mouth, so she told THE WORLD. She said the biggest response was "She isn't that big, all she needs to do is drink more Water and walk around that park...." I'm glad THEY think it's that easy because it's really not.

I had this conversation with my surgeon and he response was "Who told you that?" She explained that people don't understand that just because someone carries their weight evenly, which I did, it doesn't mean that WLS isn't a proper tool for them. Now that I'm down almost 30 lbs people can clearly see "I was that big..." Sometimes it's just a matter of not being educated that leads people to comment the way they do.

Edited by Kandis SupaStar Hill

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i really think the majority of people who come back with a "you're not that big" comment think they are giving you a compliment.

i'm not telling everybody, but i have told my family and my close friends. nobody said "you don't need to do it". an eye-opener, indeed, as a previous poster stated. it also is due to the fact that i only told people who love me unconditionally and see me as a bright and well-educated person.

i'm not telling ANYONE who i think has a chance of giving me bad mojo back.

however, i'd be very comfortable with "all of my doctors agree that it is necessary".

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The last thing people need is garbage. jessiquoi has that right. I know that when my surgeon wasn't supportive, and everyone else was, it sort of changed the game.

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I have my first appointment with the surgeon's office tomorrow morning... yippee!!! Glad to have read all these great suggestions before then, so I have something intelligent to say next time someone is rude to (or thinks they're complimenting) me. I just know a larger patient in the waiting room is going to ask me how life is post-op. Fingers crossed that the ignorant nurse who suggested I leave the information session has already retired! I was assured she was about to when I called to complain about my experience (two days later - after I'd composed myself and stopped crying). I will be kind to friends, acquaintances and other patients, but the next uninformed healthcare professional is going to get a piece of my mind!

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I used to say, "I'm good at dressing strategically", but I was always so tempted to say, "you've never seen me naked!" ;-D

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There are a lot of ignorant people in health care. The only way to change that is to educate yourself and then give them the piece of your mind and your resources.

Not all are like this, but some.

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I would say you can kiss my not that big ass....unless there is an MD in your title keep your opinion to yourself.

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I am one day post op and withheld information from almost everyone, but my mother felt the need to let some people know. My brother calls me today, saying the most ignorant comments on earth. First he's congratulating me but with a slap, saying I didn't need it but he's all for it, then saying that even if I lose weight I'm still going to weigh a lot because I'm tall, then saying that I could have lost it if I had worked out, mind you I don't speak to him on a regular basis and he doesn't know that I've had chronic back pain for a year. Then he keeps going back and forth congratulating me and throwing hints that he feels I didn't need it, I finally say " listen bro its done, and that's why I didn't tell you to begin with. I did this for me, not anyone else, so I didn't need permission to get it from anyone but my doctor" he then says he's happy for me again and we hang up.

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when I started this journey towards WLS, I was 207 my BMI was 40.1, mind you I'm only 4'11! I only told my four closet friends, they were extremely supportive. I knew not to tell certain people in my family. Some of them are so old fashioned, and I couldn't be bothered explaining to them that WLS isn't the same as plastic surgery. When I told my parents of course they were concerned but then I took them to one of my appointments, and that settled that. Of course my mother has a big mouth, so she told THE WORLD. She said the biggest response was "She isn't that big, all she needs to do is drink more Water and walk around that park...." I'm glad THEY think it's that easy because it's really not.

I had this conversation with my surgeon and he response was "Who told you that?" She explained that people don't understand that just because someone carries their weight evenly, which I did, it doesn't mean that WLS isn't a proper tool for them. Now that I'm down almost 30 lbs people can clearly see "I was that big..." Sometimes it's just a matter of not being educated that leads people to comment the way they do.

Oooh, Imma try that! Drink more Water and walk around that park!! No really, I am! And have the gastric bypass!!

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Oooh, Imma try that! Drink more Water and walk around that park!! No really, I am! And have the gastric bypass!!

I went to a gym 5 days a week, and hired a personal trainer for sixteen weeks long before I ever considered surgery and lost maybe the same 10 lbs over and over. So it was not for lack of trying. The diabetes and PCOS just made losing weight incredibly difficult. This drives me nuts. Oh, just drink more Water and workout more. And of course, put the fork down. Ugh.

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I can lose weight. Without wls I can't keep it off.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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