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2 days before sugery and feeling conflicted



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That is what is so hard. I feel like I am being selfish by going thru with the surgery and I have felt guilty for even wanting it from day one BUT I feel like I NEED it. I have 2 littles at home (3 1/2 yr & 20 months) and I want to be there for them as the healthy fun mom, not the fat tired one. The fatter I got the more co dependant I became/ am. I am insanely afraid of failing at this and now am worried that I will fail it like I do every other diet and even my marriage. Wish I would have enrolled in counceling BEFORE this happened. Then maybe I wouldn't be so afraid of it.

I understand your feeling of being selfish. Let me say this my biggest fear is having this surgery and changing. But then I thought about it and I deserve every opportunity to expand my life span. I have 3 kids to think about and one is a toddler. I want to be there for them. I have become the mom that delegates work to the kids as I sit on the couch because I'm too tired and fat to help clean up. I don't want to be that person. I want to be able to get the rides with them at the amusement park. I want to be able to keep up with my 19 month old son. So you deserve this just as much as everyone in here do. You're not being selfish by doing the surgery. You will be cheating yourself out on happiness and being a great mom to your kids. So do it for them. Most importantly do it for you. Life is to short not to take advantage of any good opportunity. (Sorry long response)

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Hey, Idaho. Glad to hear you're getting better every day. That's exactly how recovery works. :)

On my surgery day, I weighed 216, and here are my first seven weeks weekly weight losses:

4.2
2.6
2.4
1.2
3.8
2.0
1.2

I will probably be down 2.5 pounds for Week 8 (this coming Monday).

Edited by VSGAnn2014

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@@Idahospud

I had bypass, so I am not sure about the sleeve. I have lost an average of 4 lbs a week since surgery. Some weeks it may be more, and twice I have not lost anything for almost 2 weeks, then dropped a lot the next week. Just follow the plan that your doctor and NUT have set up for you and you will do fine. LOL,must don't get on that scale for often than once a week. I'm proud of what you have accomplished so far. Your doing great.

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Thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement! I can truly say it has been a tremendous help in my journey so far. Each day gets easier with the divorce underway and my new life ahead of me. I cannot wait to see what the future holds for me and my precious baby boys!!!!

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@@Idahospud

You've been quiet on here, so I'm doing my weekly check on you. Hope you are doing well. How are those baby boys? In no time at all you will be chasing them around.

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I say call his bluff!!! You do what's right for you. Your husband is suppose to support his wife just as you would support him. Chances are he's just scared,regardless this is your life, your body, and your health! You know in your heart what's best for you go with that and let the chips fall where they may!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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