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Support from Mom isnt that supportive....



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So my mom told my sister that having the sleeve will be such a drastic change that I won't be able to handle it and she doesn't understand why diet isn't working for me. I'm just frustrated. I thought my mom was supportive but I guess she's not.

She lost 100 lbs a few years ago, BUT she gave up food and transferred her addiction to alcohol. She still eats lots of sugary foods and counts fat content, which doesn't work for me...I'm happy she lost weight, but sad that she doesn't support me and that she continues to drink.

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That must be difficult. I'm so sorry.

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Sorry to hear that. I applaud you for going ahead and making yourself healthy regardless.

On some level, your Mom has to know this isn't right. Any chance she would go to Al Anon and see a nutritionist to get back on track? If her alcohol issues were under control, her real self would show itself and, I imagine she would be supportive of you.

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Focus on YOU, not your Mom's problems. God Bless honey! Good luck!

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Sorry to hear that. I applaud you for going ahead and making yourself healthy regardless. On some level, your Mom has to know this isn't right. Any chance she would go to Al Anon and see a nutritionist to get back on track? If her alcohol issues were under control, her real self would show itself and, I imagine she would be supportive of you.

I wish she would go to AA or even a treatment center. She has been drinking heavily for about 10 years now. Even a DUI didn't scare her into sobriety. I tried to have surgery in 2012 and my weight went up with all my "food funerals" and she thinks I won't make good decisions. I have had 6 months of nutritional counseling this time, and I've lost some weight. I'm focusing on low carbs and I have had pizza once in a blue moon, but last night I told myself no more. The surgery is going to be a tool to help me eat less and focus on quality not quantity.

My husband ordered a dominoes pizza and I made my own zucchini pizza instead. I had one piece of cheese bread and are my yummy dinner.

It just makes me sad that people say "exercise more" "eat less" and you don't need this surgery.

I am a food addict and always will be, but I want this to help me be a recovered food addict if that makes sense.

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I wish she would go to AA or even a treatment center. She has been drinking heavily for about 10 years now. Even a DUI didn't scare her into sobriety. I tried to have surgery in 2012 and my weight went up with all my "food funerals" and she thinks I won't make good decisions. I have had 6 months of nutritional counseling this time, and I've lost some weight. I'm focusing on low carbs and I have had pizza once in a blue moon, but last night I told myself no more. The surgery is going to be a tool to help me eat less and focus on quality not quantity.

My husband ordered a dominoes pizza and I made my own zucchini pizza instead. I had one piece of cheese bread and are my yummy dinner.

It just makes me sad that people say "exercise more" "eat less" and you don't need this surgery.

I am a food addict and always will be, but I want this to help me be a recovered food addict if that makes sense.

I understand addictions in a terrible way. Your Mother cannot make informed decisions for you. Change your life. Go to Alanon. Like my deceased sister said once, we are all addicted to something. Fight your battle and be strong. Love, hugs and prayers. God Bless.

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I understand addictions in a terrible way. Your Mother cannot make informed decisions for you. Change your life. Go to Alanon. Like my deceased sister said once, we are all addicted to something. Fight your battle and be strong. Love, hugs and prayers. God Bless.

Thank you for your kind words! I really appreciate them. I come on here for more support than anything else. It seems a lot of people have saboteurs and unsupportive people in their lives.

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Please be strong for yourself. I am very sorry your mom is an alcoholic. As people have advised, you may wish to go to Al Anon. Your mom switched one addiction for another one. What matters is what YOU think about yourself.

Don't listen to her negativity. It is your life. You know you can do it.

Best of luck to you, dear.

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Not sure what happened to my first reply but sounds like your mom wants the best for you but she is talking from her fears. You just stay focused on your own reasons for your decision and u will be fine.

As for the alcohol addiction, here's a sidebar: my therapist told me that cross addictions are not uncommon in bariatric patients because they can transfer their food addiction to something else like shopping, alcohol or gambling. In other words, we all need to have stuff worked out before we get the surgery.

Wish you the best! Keep your eye on the prize!

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I am sorry your mom just isn't going to be able to be there for you. It sucks. I am wavering about not telling my mom because she just does not have a filter and shares everything with everyone.

Last night, on another thread, they were sharing appropriate responses when someone says something clueless like you should just eat less and exercise more 'Wow, I have never tried that, thank you so much for letting me in on how it works"

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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