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Telling the extended family?



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I had my sleeve done in May of 2014, and I know I'm doing really well by the measure of the scale (down 70+ lbs already) but I still see myself as "a fat kid" and pretty much expect my family to as well. When I say family, I mean the 100+ aunts, uncles, cousins, 2nd cousins, etc that I get to spend Labor day with. We only get together once every few years, and they've always known me to be a "bigger" person, so I doubt anyone will notice the weight loss. Here's my question- is it weird I really don't want all of them to know about my surgery? I haven't had a problem telling my immediate family, friends, and even my co workers, but I just feel really weird about telling the rest of the family. I even got mad when my Mom told my uncle without asking me first. Did anyone else have this after their surgery?

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First, if you've dropped 70 pounds, I'm sure someone (if not many of them) WILL notice the weight loss.

Second, I think that's way too many people to tell your most personal business. Some might get it; others might have comments/criticisms you really don't need or want to hear. They can Celebrate your weight loss without having your wls be the reunion's hot topic. You can be the 'hot' topic ["damn, she looks good!"], but not your surgery. It's not their business.

You said, "I really don't want them to know..." Well, that's it. End of discussion [within yourself].

Do what you want, but, if it were me, I wouldn't even think to tell them. If they ask, "what are you doing to lose all that weight!!?", I'd just say "I'm eating lots of Protein and I cut out all those carbs," etc. [One caveat; IF everyone in your family is clinically obese and also could benefit from wls, saying you had it to encourage them to get it might be different...only IF you want to tell them.]

We live in a 'tell everyone everything; share everything' world [on FB, etc.]. I am not into that. I'm a very private-minded person and have learned to protect my serenity and spirit (as well as that of others).

Have fun. Enjoy the gathering. But do only what you feel comfortable doing or saying.

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Thanks! I'm just afraid it'll come off that I'm embarrassed I got the surgery, or whatever. But honestly, I just did what I had/wanted to. Thanks for helping me not feel crazy!!!

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Don't worry about it! U owe no one anything! I told my parents they fixed my tummy an hernia bc I couldn't metabolize. .period..end of story. Now I can loose weight! If I was u I would just leave it alone. ..if it gets out it gets out. I'm just saying it was best for my situation! :)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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