HELP Wedding two weeks after surgery

[chickatee 0]

My husband is the best man in a wedding two weeks after my surgery. About a month ago the bride called and asked me to play a small part in the ceremony. I tried to decline but she wasn't taking no for an answer. She wants me to wear a formal gown. I've been looking for a dress but without a girdle every dress I try looks really bad. I have been assuming that two weeks out I would still be to sore to wear one. Am I wrong? Can someone that is already banded let me know what they think.

[Daisalana 33]

2 weeks out I am not too sore to do something like that. The only sore problems I have is sitting at my desk at work too long (I hit the desk with my belly when I'm pushed in to type) and it irritates my port incision.

As for dress, try an empire waist dress.. They gather right under the breast and then flow down, easily hiding any tummy or whatever else you're wanting to hide! Or, if it's a small enough part, a formal pants suit works.

[musicalmomma 1]

My husband is the best man in a wedding two weeks after my surgery. About a month ago the bride called and asked me to play a small part in the ceremony. I tried to decline but she wasn't taking no for an answer. She wants me to wear a formal gown. I've been looking for a dress but without a girdle every dress I try looks really bad. I have been assuming that two weeks out I would still be to sore to wear one. Am I wrong? Can someone that is already banded let me know what they think.

When is your surgery? Does the bride know you're having surgery? To me it's a little selfish to ask someone two weeks out of surgery to perform duties at her wedding. If she doesn't know, are you wanting to keep it a secret? If not, tell her you'll still be in recovery and don't want to take a chance in not being able to perform your duties, so she should find someone else. If she doesn't know and you don't want her to know, I don't know what to tell you. Normally, I'd say only you know what you can handle, but in this case you really don't know if you'll be able to handle it or not. I've had laprascopic surgery before and wouldn't DREAM of putting on a formal gown and going to a formal 4-5 hour event two weeks after surgery. Maybe you should ask your surgeon about it.

Best of luck

[chickatee 0]

My surgery is on Thursday. The bride does know about my surgery I told her when she asked me to be a part of the wedding. I also told her that I didn't think I should do it because it was so soon after my surgery and I didn't know what to expect, and that I would rather say no now rather then risk disappointing her later. I also explained to her that I was going to have my hands full getting everyone else ready for the wedding. My husband is the best man, my two year old daughter is a flower girl, and I have two other kids that aren't in the wedding to get ready. By the time we get to the church I'll be worn out. But She wasn't giving up and I was starting to feel like I was making empty excuses so I gave in. I know that was dumb because instead of being able to concentrate on my surgery, that is only two days away, I am feeling overwhelmed with this wedding.

[Daisalana 33]

Well, if you think you'll be tired (which you might! I do still get tired, just not sore as much), just tell her you asked your doctor and your doctor advised you not to.

[travelgirl 3]

You should be ok, I think. I'm sure that you'd really rather not, but since the bride is so insistent...

Ask for help in getting your family ready, your DH should be able to help with this, even if he IS a man....(LOL) and he should be able to dress himself. Don't be a martyr when the day comes. Do what you can, and when you can't, rest. A little pre-planning will go a long way.

You can do it! Good luck with your surgery! You're in my prayers for a super speedy recovery!!

[JJB 2]

I also think that you should tell her that the Dr said you should not be doing it. I have two boys. Ages 7 and 3. I know what you mean about getting them all ready and then your self. By the time you are done with that you might be a little sore. Nothing major. But you dont want to over do it and be in pain. Remember you are doing this for yourself and you need to worry about you right now. You are already going to be thinking a lot about your surgery. And this would just add to it. That is just my opinion though. I know that I have a hard time saying no. I am working on it though. Good luck to you.

[Marimaru 7]

Regarding the girdle, it would probably be okay to wear for a few hours, but I imagine it would start to bother you after that. Maybe have another outfit for after the ceremony and a few hours of the reception?

[chickatee 0]

Thank you everyone for replying. I feel that I am already committed and that it is to late to back out now. How ever I have decided to stop worrying about it until after the surgery. My Mil wanted me to go shopping again tonight to look at more dresses, but I decided not to go. My surgery is tomorrow and I don't want to go into surgery worried about a dress. Besides after the surgery I'll know better myself if I can tolerate a girdle.

[travelgirl 3]

My suggestion about a girdle would be to get one that isn't very tight, because while that would be ok for awhile, if you have to wear it very long, you'll be dying to get out of it. Get some liquid Tylenol (extra strength adult dose) in case you do get uncomfortable.

[txbecca 0]

I wouldn't do it.. No means no. I'm sure she means well, but 2 weeks out you will be worn out just getting everyone there. Offer to do something behind the scenes at the reception if you must, but there was no way you'd catch me in a girdle at 2 weeks.

[Daisalana 33]

Yeah I'm 2 weeks and 2 days out, and I wouldn't put on a girdle. The incisions are still tender and raw feeling to have something up against them. Certain shirts of mine seem to bother it just from the fabric rubbing on it.

[AngelaT 2]

My husband is the best man in a wedding two weeks after my surgery. About a month ago the bride called and asked me to play a small part in the ceremony. I tried to decline but she wasn't taking no for an answer. She wants me to wear a formal gown. I've been looking for a dress but without a girdle every dress I try looks really bad. I have been assuming that two weeks out I would still be to sore to wear one. Am I wrong? Can someone that is already banded let me know what they think.

Pleqse do not wear a girdle. Not only will it be painful, but it could cause some damage if it is too tight. If you cannot wear a nice loose fitiing dress, it is best to say no. Explain that 2 weeks after surgery many people cannot even be back at work. Take care of yourself first this time. many overweigh people are so because they say yes to everyone else but themselves. Good luck!

[niki 1]

A girdle??? I would be more scared of damaging my band than saying no to a close friend. if she's really your friend and if she knows about your surgery, she'll surely understand that you'll still recovering and that you do need to take things slowly. There must be tons of other people able to play an active role on that wedding and if your friend doesn't understand or care about your health, maybe you should try to point her out what your priorities are right now. You're already doing a lot by attending the ceremony. If you do insist on going, try wearing something loose and comfortable. trust me, your incisions are still too fresh and your whole body is still healing and trying to adapt to the band. Don't put yourself at risk because of a wedding ceremony.

[NicksWife22 0]

I haven't been banded yet but I have had laproscopic surgery and I think 2 weeks recovery is enough time to be able to walk down an aisle for a wedding! (my opinion) Make sure you bring someone along to help with your girls, tho! I agree with the girls on here about no girdle. It just seems like it would hurt you. At bridal stores they have those 2-piece formal dresses that are slimming. They are like a matching long skirt and top. Or get a loose dress and some support hose. Since you've already made up your mind - have fun!