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Failed already?!?! Help :(:(



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I had my band on July 14th. And I've already failed with what my nutritionist told me. She was a brand new nutritionist (to this hospital) and I met the girl who was having the band a couple of days after me and we were told completely different things as she had the old nutritionist.

I went onto solid but very soft foods in week two as I just knew in myself I'd be fine! And I have been :) I've got stuck once but that was my own fault and forgot and shoved in another mouthful when I was already full. Before I met the nutritionist the main bariatric nurse said they like people to move onto solids at the rate that the person feels comfortable with whether that's fast or flow! And the nutritionist said 4-5 weeks, stuff that!!!! I also find it so hard to stop at this 'comfortably satisfied point' and instead I end up so full I'm uncomfortable. It's hard to get my head around being full after eating so little and I guess that comes in time! But I'm definitely able to be probably a cup and a half-2 which annoys me. I haven't had a fill and I've only lost 6.5lbs since surgery as I gained a pound and a half at one point but I lost it again. I'm just so frustrated and feel like I'm failing and my band is failing. I had and still do have such high hopes for it. I know people lose weight at different rates but I can't help thinking I'm just not doing as well as I should be!! Although I do compare myself to the people who had similar surgery dates to me and who followed their nutritionists plan and are still on Mushies. Sorry for the rant but if anyone has any advice I'd be so great full!!! X

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@@GRE110, I think each person's protocol is set by their surgeon's office based on their experience with the number of patients they see, not necessarily each patient's individual tolerance levels. What I mean is, my instructions are different from your instructions which are different from Susie's instructions. In my case, my surgeon's office requires six weeks of full liquids following surgery. I was told that this is not only for purposes of a long healing timeframe, but also for maximum weight loss in the starting phase. I was not a happy camper when I heard that I had to be on liquids for six weeks. But now that it is behind me, I will tell you that it was very beneficial for me to have that long stretch. I focused on exercise, calorie counting, and easing into the food stage. When I was finally allowed real food, I was truly able to take it slowly and every meal was well within the nutritionist's guidelines. Although I was tempted to bend the rules during the six weeks, I did not. I used that month and a half to build good habits. For me personally, this is the end of the road. I went into WLS with the conviction that this time, I will follow directions. Doing it my own way has never worked for me in the long run before. I'm running out of time to get it right. So far so good. Good luck to you, and don't beat yourself up. But know that there are rules for a reason. They are there to help you succeed.

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You have not failed unless you are quitting. As fast as we want all this to happen, it seems to be a long haul we are in for learning life over again in many new ways. Give it more time. food isn't that easy to give up. We will get it though, just hard work and time.

Stay positive,

Colleen

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6.5lbs sounds like a lot of weight and it's barely 2 weeks. Keep following your doctor's orders and you will not fail.

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Failed??? You may not understand this right now, but believe me someday you will....

But you have not even started yet....

At this early point, you are just hanging around the starting line preparing for the gun to go off...

That's how it is with Lap Band surgery as opposed to the other bariatric surgeries...

You need to lighten up and relax....for in 2-3 months you are really going to find yourself between a rock and a hard place...

Do the best you can, try to learn all the lessons. You will need the things you are learning now later on down the road. And with all lessons to be learned, don't expect to ace every test...

Edited by B-52

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Hi there, you're doing beautifully -- you've had the surgery and are going through the healing process. Next will come assessing with your surgeon for fills. I have had seven (my surgeon is of the small frequent fills school -- they are all different) and then you will be on your way. Know that these early months are not necessarily easy but it is all happening. I am still elated almost nine months later and sixty pounds down.

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You must be patient. It takes time to understand what you can eat. All of us are different. There is not a food that all of us like or can eat. We must try and see what works for us. Understanding how to eat and how much each meal is imporatnt for the future. Give it time!

Best wishes and Keep the faith.

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Listen to B52 he knows what he is talking about. Most important follow the instructions from dr and dietitians and all medical personnel in the office. Don't try to second guess them. They make a living from this business.

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Gre110 I agree with others the ONLY way Uve failed is if Ur giving up and U will NOT continue to follow the process. It is a "Life Change" and it takes time to get your mind to catch up to where you should and wanna be. I can attest to this being just shy of 6 weeks post op and I felt the EXACT same way when I went in for my almost 1 month post op for my 1st fill and I seemed to have ALL the problems that I did NOT want to experience. I STILL had significant swelling in my stomach and they were unable to do my 1st fill on 2 different occasions due to the swelling and I was VERY discouraged when I went in for the 1st fill almost 1 month post op and had ONLY lost 1 lb and that REALLY made me feel like a failure due to me NOT having ALL the right tools to begin my journey and NOT being informed as others. My surgeon I LOVED, but the staff that was assisting pre op SUCKED majorly to me and did NOT give me a lot of information that I should have going into this life changing situation. When I went in for my almost 1 month post op I had ONLY lost 1 lb due to NOT eating correctly and NO exercise because I have NOT yet found my groove to want to be motivated enough to exercise! So, I was determined that I was NOT going to waste my money having this surgery and I didnt want to feel like a failure as I have shared with some people that I had the surgery and have people be like she either didnt have the surgery or I knew it wouldnt work and I placed myself back on a liquid diet and low calories and when I went back for my 1 month post op to get my fill I had lost 6.6 lbs and they were STILL unable to find my port due to all of the swelling and they scheduled me to go to the surgery center to have the fill completed with a x-ray machine. It was completed and NOW I have to get motivated so that I can get into the gym and hit the track with walking so that I can be the success story that I dream of being! So, with ALL of that being sd U r NOT alone and there are so many people that can be of support here for you and are rooting you on. Ive felt the EXACT SAME way you feel and we walk this road together! Keep up the good work and it will ALL fall in place soon!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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