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Debating whether to tell my best friend about my surgery tomorrow



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Tomorrow I'm going to meet up with my best friend at the mall. I'm having surgery on monday and i don't know if i should tell her about it or not. She doesn't have any weight problems so she wouldn't understand the struggle, and I've never talked to her about my weight issues before. I mean I just don't know how she'll react.

I don't feel right hiding it from her, she's my best friend. At the same time I don't know what she'd say. I think I will. I don't know. What kind of reactions have you guys gotten from your skinny friends about WLS?

Edited by Tisa

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How other people reacted to others is really irrelevant. Tell her... after some initial shock, she'll either like what she hears or not. Even that is irrelevant. Tell her how much of a struggle life has been for you with your weight. You've made the best effective choice for yourself so you can be healthy.

Also, what if you DON'T tell her?! What are you going to do then if you, her best friend, kept such a big secret from her? That might be very damaging to your friendship.

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I didn't tell my best friend and was just mentioning to my husband how weird it feels with her not knowing. Only my husband, daughter (adolescent), and a fairly new friend couple (one had rny, other having it in August) know. I haven't told my family either. While it is weird that she doesn't know, it works for me right now. She is not overweight and never sees me as overweight, either, so it would have been a struggle that I wasn't up for. (I do carry my weight well). At this time I never plan on telling anyone, although from reading others experiences here, I might.

It is a hard decision who to share this experience with. Try to weigh the pros/cons on the effect it might have on your relationship with your best friend.

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I told my immediate family and three closest friends about a week before surgery. Mostly I didn't want them to be completely unaware of my surgery if something awful were to happen! All three of my closest friends and most of my family are normal, healthy weight and we had never talked about my weight issues. Everyone was completely supportive and on board. I am sorry to say that as I have told more people after surgery, the very few negative reactions I have gotten have been from overweight people. The thin people have been, unanimously, completely kind, understanding, and supportive.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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