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No sex drive



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My husband is 9 weeks out of surgery, and he has zero sex drive. Anyone else dealt with that? I know this is the guys room, but it is a guys question?

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Give it a few months (sorry boys, I know I'm female, but I think it's dually relevant)..

Hang in there, baby-girl. Give him till the full foods get in and he's more at ease with what he's eating/drinking...and it will ALL IMPROVE! Promise you ;) x

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Lol.. im sorry but I found this funny. A woman giving other woman advise bout guys. Im sorry dont mean to offend but.... yeah.

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Lol.. im sorry but I found this funny. A woman giving other woman advise bout guys. Im sorry dont mean to offend but.... yeah.

Then hop in there and help me out! No one else did except her!

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Yeah! So ner ner ne ner ner :P

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You really didn't give any details from which to form a hypothesis. Are there other complications like pain or general lethargy? What happens when you try to initiate sex? Does he refuse you?

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I was just gonna let someone with experience coach. Not sure how much help I can be im 28 never really experienced low sex drive. Even at 370 I was still very driven. Now 70lbs lighter its even worse my girl can not keep up at all.

I will share what I have notticed bout libido. When u go a long time without using your member you will loose libido. trying to get him off every every once in a while will raise it. I know the more I use it the more I want it. Also check his diet if hes slowly goin back to high fatty foods, steaks or pork. It shocks the body from what ive notticed since it takes so long to process. Also slows down weightloss.

Im not a nutritionist just things I have notticed.

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You really didn't give any details from which to form a hypothesis. Are there other complications like pain or general lethargy? What happens when you try to initiate sex? Does he refuse you?

He has no pain, no lethargy. He's lost 60#. He feels much better, but he said he just hasn't felt like having sex. I don't initiate it, but there has been a few times we have talked about it. He just says he hasn't wanted sex at all.

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I was just gonna let someone with experience coach. Not sure how much help I can be im 28 never really experienced low sex drive. Even at 370 I was still very driven. Now 70lbs lighter its even worse my girl can not keep up at all. I will share what I have notticed bout libido. When u go a long time without using your member you will loose libido. trying to get him off every every once in a while will raise it. I know the more I use it the more I want it. Also check his diet if hes slowly goin back to high fatty foods, steaks or pork. It shocks the body from what ive notticed since it takes so long to process. Also slows down weightloss. Im not a nutritionist just things I have notticed.

He has never done this either. Even at his largest, our sex life was still great. I'll look into the diet, he is at work most of the time, but I will bring it up to him. Thanks.

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Im just gonna add from my personal experience. Nothing comes of sexy like a woman in control. My advise is you need to take initiative. Best time would be in the morning when u know hes had a great night sleep n fully relaxed. Dont ask dont tell just do. Wake him up with a lil naughty. (Youll know hes fully relaxed. Morning wood). ; )

Night time... same thing, surprise him dont give him a chance to think. "Man handle" him if you will. Something sexy something different break away from anatomy.

Ill like to point out im the farthest thing away from a masochists. But it works.

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The only thing I can think of that could in any way be associated with the sleeve having any effect on sex drive, would be energy level. The whole surgery, low calorie and exercise combination can have a real impact on energy levels. Could be he's just tired or weak.

Other than that, you might be barking up the wrong tree. It might be something more deep seated, related to your relationship that no one on here would realistically be able to offer any insight. Good luck.

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I would suggest you have him get his hormone levels checked - he could be experiencing some issues associated with them being off balance due to the rapid weight loss.

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Testosterone levels could be an issue but I would definitely try to initiate things. One bad part of being overweight is the difficulty in having sex. He may still be in that mindset. Once he sees how much better things are now he doesnt have to work with all that extra weight it may peak his interest a bit more.

So initiate things for awhile. Makes the first moves. If it is a issue in his head, seeing that his new look is getting you excited may change things. Now if he flat out refuses, then it could be something else.

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I have a simular issue. Since surgery I've had sex as if it was a chore like taking the trash out. Way less frequent than before.

Hoping it goes away...

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It could be energy. It could be something unrelated to surgery. I am 5 weeks out and have not had a loss in sex drive. In fact, mine has increased. I get harder and it seems bigger than before and I seem to recover more quickly.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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