Self Sabotage

[SBell35 19]

I'm super struggling. I just had my 3rd of 6 required classes through my insurance provider and have found that my weight is in flux.

I need to be under 360 before I can schedule my surgery and I have been bouncing around from 360 to 379 (which is what I weighed in at at class) for more than a month now.

I'm stressed beyond belief with work, preparing for my husbands surgery and just everyday life! I worry that I am letting food sooth or comfort me when I am feeling stressed or out of control and that is why my weight is in flux so much.

I'm terrified that I am going to allow myself to get so out of control that I lose my window for surgery. I've been working towards this for so long and I feel so angry that I am letting these 19 pounds freak me out so much. There is a part of me that is worried I am using this as an excuse so I can't have my surgery!

Is anyone in a similar boat (or was)? Any suggestions on how to "let go"?

[Seagull00 19]

I've been there. One thing that helped me was making a list. I wrote down all the reasons I want to do this and also everything that scares me about having RNY. I'd recommend digging deep with this exercise. For instance, I'm scared I won't know how to be "me" in a skinny body, for years I've been everyone's funny fat friend. I wrote down that one of my fears is the excess skin. Is my husband going to be turned off if parts of me look like a shar pei.

You may also want to take it 1 meal at a time, if you can't trust yourself to make good decisions about food, eat a meal and then pre pack and plan for your next meal, use a scale and weigh and measure your food, use myfitnesspal religiously and log every bite.

Good luck! You can do this!

[rome 156]

Commit to an all liquid diet like they have you do for pre-op and post op. You will lose those pounds and will then be on your way to a new way of life in the process before surgery. YOU CAN DO THIS!!

[joy59 81]

SBell I understand as I am going through almost the same. I feel that I am at times sabotaging my own weight loss so I won't get the surgery . The Dr gave me a goal of 261 I was 287. I reached 261 in about 3 weeks I received my surgery date September 9th (soonest insurance would cover) . Now I find myself going back to poor food choices. I have been trying to figure out what it is about and for me I believe I am very afraid I won't succeed even with wls and this is a way of making sure it won't happen. So I am resetting my negative thoughts with positive. I started back to the gym and do two meals of Protein Shake and have started using the fitness pal again. We will succeed one day at a time and we know that because we are strong women who have many things for others and now we will do this for ourselves. All the best to you.

[SBell35 19]

Thank you all for your replies!! I feel so much better knowing that I am not alone! I am doing a modified version of the Liver Shrinking Diet to help boost the weight loss into high gear. I am taking it one meal at a time, one shake, one bite, one moment. This is my chance to win and I am not going to give up!! I cant wait to see the results and feel better about being in this moment. You all are amazing inspiriation and so sweet to give me such great words and ideas!

Here is to becoming a "post-ops" as soon as we are able!!